A Raven's Story
by worrywart
Summary: What does it take to learn to be a friend?  Hermione opens a letter from a certain snarky professor and the rest of their lives will never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my new story! At this time, I do not have a regular posting schedule planned. The first draft is done and being edited as we speak. I will try not to be so long between chappies that you have to go back and re-read to catch up, and if for some reason I am, I will give a quickie recap. That being said…..**

**I am very grateful for my britpicker, xpage394x, who despite writing her own story and having young children _and_ going to Uni, offered to britpick my story. She has become my 'adopted daughter' and has a naughty spirit much like my own. Her insight and suggestions are helping to make this story way more than what I had first envisioned!  
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**I am also very grateful to The Bard's Daughter who helped come up with the title for this story. My sister and I could not agree (read as 'fought like two cats on speed') on a title, and so I asked TBD for a favor. Her explanation for the title really touched my sense of romanticism. **

**The inspiration for this story comes from various delightful stories I have read where a letter writing campaign between our favorite couple ensues. The stories end with their marriage and allusions to continued letter writing throughout their marriage. I haven't seen this type of story for while and wanted to indulge myself in seeing what I could come up with and pursue the letter writing beyond their marriage up to their deaths. Any similarity between my story and previously published versions is accidental; I tried very hard to compare mine to others and alter as necessary.**

**This story is set post war so naturally it is AU because Snape lives! There will be fluff, but not enough for sandwiches (not even if you provide the peanut butter). No lemons this time, but the story is appropriately rated for some tough situations in later chapters.**

**J.K. Rowling owns it all. I don't. sniff sniff**

Chapter 1

An Old Box

A raven sat on his perch, his feathers less than glossy due to age, muttering to itself as noise disturbed his sleep. The source of the disturbance was off to the left where a wardrobe stood with its doors open wide and clothes piled on the floor beside it.

Hermione Snape knelt amongst the robes and boots to open the drawer at the bottom. The hands that grasped the handles were painful as they pulled the drawer open; at 112, she suffered the usual aches and pains of old age. Once the drawer was open, she reached in and pulled out an old box. She lovingly caressed the careworn surface of the tiger-eye maple wood; Severus had given her the box as a gift on their 10th wedding anniversary. On its top was a carved lion and snake matching the tattoo on her wrist. Celtic symbols and runes were carved into the other surfaces.

"Gran?" A feminine voice called from the sitting room.

"In here!"

A tall bespectacled woman wandered into Hermione's bedroom. "What are you doing?"

"Clearing out; it must be done."

"But Gran, it has only been a week! Why don't you wait?"

"The longer I wait, the harder it will be," Hermione stated with sad resignation.

"Oh, Gran," Glennis flopped down on the floor beside her great grandmother who reached up and stroked the 34-year-old woman's hair. It was as black and straight as Severus' had been. She had his black eyes but she had Hermione's own irrepressible curiosity. "I miss him so much."

"As do I. He was my heart and soul."

"He really was your soulmate, wasn't he?" Glennis queried humbly.

"Yes, he really was," Hermione smiled.

"They are rare, aren't they?"

"True soulmates are rare. Sure, lots of people say they are soulmates and have deep abiding love and empathy for each other, but few are true soulmates." Hermione turned over her wrist to show Glennis the bonding tattoo. "The day we got married, after the bonding was ceremony was completed, this symbol appeared. It has never faded or dulled in color over the years. Your great grandfather and I had reasons to believe we were soulmates, but this was absolute proof." Hermione snorted at a memory. "The ministry even had the gall to require our presence at a hearing to investigate the marks, blithering some twaddle about your great grandfather's other tattoo and dark magic." Hermione traced the outline of the familiar tattoo reverently; a golden lion with a green snake wrapped around its body; the 'foreheads' of the snake and lion touched, their eyes open and looking at each other.

"Gran…." Glennis hesitated before speaking her next thought. "I have heard that when a soulmate dies, the other dies not long afterward."

"Yes. That is why I am not so sad. I will be with Severus again very soon." Hermione spoke determinedly but softly as Glennis burst into tears. "Don't cry!" Hermione spoke quickly. "It is a joyous thing for me to know this! Lenni, I miss him so much. All the little annoying things he did, all the loving things he did. I miss it all so much." Hermione rummaged around in the pocket of her robes before producing a handkerchief. She wiped her great-granddaughter's cheeks affectionately and then pressed the hankie into Glennis' hand with a firm but tender grip. "But we know what is beyond the veil, and I know I will be with him for all eternity very soon. Don't be sad for us. Be happy!" She implored with a joyous smile as she patted her great-granddaughter's hand decisively before returning her gaze to the timeworn box.

After a few moments, Glennis wiped her nose. Gesturing with the wet handkerchief toward the box she asked, "What have you got in your lap, Gran?"

"This? Watch and see!" Hermione said cheerfully. She got out her wand, performed a quick slicing hex on her thumb and then pressed it onto a well-worn spot on the lid. With another tap of the wand, the box opened. Inside were hundreds of letters, some loose, most bundled together with different coloured ribbons. "Your great grandfather and I began a correspondence in my seventh year at Hogwarts. It was after the war, and he was finally at liberty to pursue whatever he desired. What started out as merely a request for friendship became a lifetime," Hermione spoke lovingly.

"We continued writing throughout our courtship. I've wrapped the letters in coloured ribbon according to when they were written. These ones here," she pointed to a red and green ribbon tied bundle, "were written while I was at Hogwarts. The ones in blue while I was at Glasgow Institute and during our courtship; the ones in silver are the ones we wrote after we married."

Upon hearing this Glennis looked at Hermione in bewilderment. "If we ever had a fight we couldn't resolve, we began to write letters again." Hermione explained before returning to the box in its entirety. "Some letters are no more than a few lines wishing each other good luck on something; some are letters that are sad," her fingers drifted over a small bundle wrapped in black ribbon. She patted the box. "A lifetime…all here. Come on my dear; let's find a more comfortable place to sit, and I will show you some of them."

Great grandmother and great granddaughter stood together, the latter helping the former to her feet, before walking over to the bed Hermione and Severus had shared for the last 88 years. Hermione had inevitably put on weight over time, but was still thin in comparison to say, the late Molly Weasley. Her pleated hair was waist length, still very curly (although pregnancy and age reduced its former bushiness) and shot through with grey. She had never cut it short because Severus adored her hair and had asked her not to. He especially loved for her to keep it in a pleat so that he could tug it playfully when he passed her at odd moments throughout the day; it was his way of saying 'I love you'. He particularly liked to loosen her curls out of their pleat at night before she brushed it out. She did not mind taking the time to pleat her hair; if something this simple brought her love pleasure, then it was a pleasure she willingly gave.

The pair settled comfortably among the pillows sitting at the headboard. Hermione conjured up a mug of hot chocolate for each of them and settled down to begin her tale.

"After the war, your great grandfather spent several months in St. Mungo's recuperating. He returned to Hogwarts to teach by the time term started in September. Professor McGonagall, who was Headmistress at the time, gave him the choice of teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts or Potions. He chose Potions even though he had previously longed for the Defence position. I've a letter about that as well."

"Didn't Granddad want to be headmaster again?" Glennis asked whilst wrapping her hands round the comforting warmth of her mug of hot chocolate.

"Absolutely not! Hermione exclaimed. "We wrote about that in our early letters; I'll find one for you. Anyway, Uncle Ron, Uncle Harry, and I returned to complete our seventh year. It was about three weeks into the school year when I received the first letter; the one that started it all."


	2. Chapter 2

**You lucky, lucky folks! I am in such a good mood after having a productive day. After I posted chapter 1, I spring cleaned my bedroom...took apart the bed, washed all the spindles (I have a rather orate and _heavy_ bed), shampooed the carpet, washed all the rest of the furniture and put on fresh clean sheets. Didn't do the windows since is quite chilly in Central PA today. I was happy to find the chart of the use of 'lay/lie' I made when I was in business school. Weird I know, but as least I can know I am using the correct form!**

**The hubby ordered take away so I am fat, tired, and happy. As a result, you guys get Chapter 2! **

I don't own this wonderful world...JKR does. Meh, such is life.

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

The One that Started it All

Breakfast in the Great Hall usually started out as a quiet affair. Students were still groggy as they drowsily shuffled in to start the day, unable to communicate much beyond grunts and mumbles. The ceiling was charmed to match the true outdoor weather, so many of the sleepyheads did not appreciate the brightness of the sunshine lighting the hall. Mugs of hot beverages sat in clusters waiting for the arriving students, and the staff were already at the head table chatting and drinking copious cups of tea and coffee. Hermione, neatly attired in her school uniform sans robe, entered and headed straight for her usual seat at the Gryffindor table. Harry and Ron wandered in after her; shirts half tucked, robes hanging open, scratching their heads and rubbing their eyes. Already Hermione had a book opened against a jug of pumpkin juice stirring a cup of coffee absentmindedly.

"Hermione, how can you be at it so early?" Ron grumbled.

"I am used to little sleep these days. Cheer up Ron, have something to eat," Hermione remarked absentmindedly.

At the head table, the professors ate quietly and chatted sleepily back and forth. One man; however, did not deign to converse with his fellow colleagues this morning. He was rather nervously eating. And glancing….glancing at the Gryffindor table…glancing at a particular Gryffindor.

The hall continued to fill with students and as they roused, so did the noise volume. The screech of an owl cut through the din to announce the arrival of other owls delivering the morning post. Letters and packages fluttered down to their recipients. Hermione was quite startled when a glossy, medium sized raven landed by her book with a letter in its beak. Pulling the letter away from the bird, she offered it a bit of toast, and it took off.

"Wuff u got vere?" Ron asked around a mouthful of fried potatoes and spitting a few onto Hermione's sleeve.

"Ugh, Ronald!" She cleaned up the mess with her wand.

"Who's the letter from, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"I'm not sure. The handwriting seems familiar though." She waved her wand over the letter to check for any dark spells. Since helping to defeat Voldemort, Hermione received quite a bit of fan mail, but had also received one or two pieces of mail with harmful intent from suspected Voldemort supporters. She had learned to cast a few spells over her mail prior to opening it. Once she determined it was safe to open, she broke the seal and began to read.

_21September 1998_

_Dear Miss Granger,_

_You are probably quite surprised to find this handwriting on this letter to you, but I hope that you will finish reading it before immediately setting it alight._

Hermione's eyes widened as she realized why this handwriting was familiar. She looked up at the staff table to see Professor Snape's eyes covertly looking at her. She returned to the letter.

_As you are aware of the details concerning my role as a spy in the war against He-Who-Was-The-Devil-Incarnate, you know then that I expected to die. Obviously, that did not happen. _

_This reprieve, if you will, has given me a chance to consider what my future holds for me. I can either continue to be the bastard I have been for the last 20 years, or I can turn over a new leaf and find some 'happiness'. I've decided to combine the two and continue my life as a happy bastard._ Hermione chuckled at this. _Part of what I believe would make me 'happy' is to gain a few friends of the __Non-__Death Eater variety. Given my social skills border on the lacking side of the measuring stick, I find I must start out with perhaps what might be termed 'a sure thing'._

_While in St. Mungo's I had some time on my hands to consider the above and for some reason (perhaps it was the incessant display of your name in _The Daily Prophet_) I found myself considering you, Miss Granger, moreso than I might have for any other reason. One may wonder why I would choose a Gryffindor, a considerably younger Gryffindor, over someone from my own house or even a Ravenclaw and around my own age. _

_As you well know, I have no patience for fools. In all honesty, I have no patience for people in general. Any previous associations I have endured in this life have been with people who are ignorant, uneducated, deceitful, manipulative or cruel. You, Miss Granger, are none of those things. Your intelligence is rivalled by none in this wretched place, except my own; although loathed to admit it, you surpass even the rest of the staff cerebrally. You are honest to a fault, which I find a necessary quality in a person whom I have dealings with. I despise being lied to, and I know that you keep nothing from your senseless associates. Other than your masterful manipulation of the contemptible Professor Umbridge, I have never seen you manipulate others, at least not for your own gain. Finally, you have a kindness of the soul which is unrivalled by even the most compassionate Hufflepuff._

_I do not know many people well enough to truly interpret them. Those I do know to this extent are either a similar age to myself, and therefore have known me well enough and long enough, to abhor me, or are one of my students._

_Perhaps you think I would clash less with an ambitious Ravenclaw? People are placed in Ravenclaw for either their wisdom, or for their academic drive. Those who are not particularly academically ambitious tend to be wise with an unfortunate side order of wacky (see Miss Lovegood for evidence of this claim). I have no tolerance for such silliness. Those who are academically driven will have no issue stabbing their peers in the back to reach their ultimate goal of being la crème de la crème. This unfortunate character trait seems to seep into their personal relationships. I have had to deal with many supposedly intelligent Ravenclaw students coming to blows in my class due to competing for top marks, friends, boyfriends and girlfriends. I believe I am not wrong in my assumption that Miss Chang felt a particular vindictiveness towards yourself over your superior bond with Potter. _

_Hufflepuff students are out of the question. Your level of sentimentality is the most I could ever hope to tolerate. Slytherins are exactly the kind of people I am attempting to distance myself from. That leaves Gryffindor as my only possible option. Yes, Gryffindors are not without their faults; in fact most Gryffindors are entirely riddled with faults._

_You, Miss Granger, YOU broke the mould of all I had learned, perceived, and stubbornly maintained of what a Gryffindor is. You are unafraid to work, to think, to face adversity. You are loyal to a fault in your convictions and friends. In the seven years I have been acquainted with your know-it-allness, you have always defended me and perhaps, respected me. (_Hermione could just picture the sneer on his face as he wrote that sentence!) _I must admit that I find I am honored that you have treated me as such. _

_I began to consider what I knew of you and how I treated you in the past. I fear I treated you rather abominably given that the only real reason for my harsh and rude behavior was of your association with Potter. The role I played kept me from being able to appreciate and voice my opinion that you were and are really rather remarkable. You are called the brightest witch of your age and you are that indeed. _

_Age frankly is not an issue for me. Wizards and witches live far longer lives than usual and so the age difference isn't really a factor. Were we muggles, it wouldn't matter to me either. I've know many witches __and wizards__ my age who couldn't tie their own shoes and many who are quite respected for their academic achievements. You however are the fresh breath of air I believe I need in my life. _

_For these reasons and perhaps a few other I have not included in this missive, I would like to offer this letter as a prelude to others in the hopes that we can __forge some kind of alliance, or even friendship__. I admit that perhaps it is rather smug of me to be certain of your feelings about me to my advantage and gain this friendship. I am hopeful that through written correspondence you can help me learn the social skills I lack, and I can perhaps offer you some academic challenge as well. _

_For the time being, I wish that you would not mention this letter or others to your friends until I am comfortable with a more open manner of communication between each other and society in general. Please send your reply, if any, with my raven. His name is Poe (original, don't you think?) and will come if you call him._

_Sincerely,_

_Professor S. Snape_

Hermione folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope.

"Who was it from, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"My aunt and uncle," Hermione lied. "It's been a while since I've written them especially now that they are in Norway. I'd forgotten what my aunt's handwriting looked like." She looked up at the head table to see Snape glancing at her. She nodded briefly to him and then turned back to her friends. "I must get to class now! See you!"

_SSHG_

Hermione had finished her early patrol shift and was settled in her Head Girl Room for the evening. She pulled Professor Snape's letter out of her school bag and re-read it. She considered what the words were saying. She was flabbergasted to know what he thought of her. She had harbored a slight crush on the man since the end of her fifth year but in all honesty, she did respect him for his role in the war and his obviously brilliant mind. Life could not have been easy when you had to answer two masters, one viciously cruel and one cheerily manipulative. She chuckled at herself being the 'sure thing' in Snape's life right now. He, by his own admission, was a manipulative bastard and knew exactly how to get what he wanted.

Hermione carefully thought about a response. She had always felt there was a hidden depth to the man. She knew this for fact given she had seen his memories in the Pensieve. He knew a form of love that was cruel and ruthless. Friendship, as he knew it, was barely concealed hate toward another person. He had no true friends, only those who used him as even he used them for his effort in the war. Hermione did not think she would be able to give him a sincere friendship like the ones she shared with Harry and Ron, however she could offer him some companionship. Possibly he would embrace their association and become a genuine friend in time; it was worth a try. She pulled out a piece of parchment.

_21 September 1998_

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_I find myself at a loss for words. To know that you carefully considered how you would go about seeking a friend and then your careful consideration of whom you would choose to request this friendship honors me. That you especially considered me humbles me. I would be honored to conduct a correspondence with you in order to help you learn to be 'friends' with others and perhaps count me among one of your good friends at some point in the future. I can just see you with a scowl on your face wondering what the hell is the difference between friends and good friends. Don't worry; knowing the difference will come in time. _

_You must understand first off that friendship means a certain give and take of communication. We really cannot restrict our comments to the weather and academia. In order to be friends, we must open a bit of ourselves to ridicule and judgment as well as sympathy and simple kindness. It is my hope that I can be honest with you in my letters without fear of retribution in class or in my grades. _

_Speaking of our conduct of this friendship….I agree it would best to conduct this via letter at this time until we are both comfortable with a more open style of communication. I know my two companions would not take kindly to know we were corresponding, and Ginny's insatiable curiosity would not be above sifting through my bag for any letters delivered at breakfast that I did not make her privy to. Therefore, would it be prudent to have Poe deliver our letters to our quarters? Is he able to if I open my wards to allow him in? I can teach him where to place any letter in my room to ensure privacy should I have friends in my room. _

_Please allow me to be presumptive in assuming that topics for a second letter from you may be difficult so I propose to ask you a few questions to start things off. Where did you grow up? When is your birthday? Whom did you apprentice under for your Masters?_

_I hope you don't find these too taxing. I must sign off now as I have a four thousand word essay due for my potions professor who can be quite the great swooping bat if you don't turn in your homework on time (not that has ever been a problem for me)._

_Sincerely,_

_Hermione_

_P.S. May I call you by your given name during our letter writing campaign? You may address me as Hermione if you wish. _

_P.p.s I do think you are quite manipulative to use me as a 'sure thing'. But you're right; we must all start somewhere and truthfully, aren't we all manipulators at one time or another? _

She blotted the ink, placed the letter in an envelope, sealed it and called for Poe. After giving him the letter she pulled out her homework and got to work.

_SSHG_

Severus, finished with grading essays, had thrown down his quill, shoved the pile of parchment onto the floor and was now relaxing by his fire with a glass of firewhiskey, his sock clad feet up on the coffee table.

"Ruddy dunderheads," he mumbled into his glass. A shimmering of his wards and a quiet 'caw' interrupted his enjoyment of the fiery whiskey as it slid down his throat. Setting down his glass, he unfolded his tall lanky frame from the chair and moved to a perch near the window to take the letter from Poe. _Ah, I see she has responded._ He relieved Poe of the letter, gave him a treat and returned to his chair. Breaking the seal, he read the letter smiling slightly at her swooping bat comment. He got a small rush of adrenaline when he realized that she would like to form a friendship with him. Rising again, he placed his glass down on the coffee table and went to his desk. He placed letter in is top drawer and warded it closed. He would draft a response in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Have I told you lately that absolutely adore my britpicker, xpage394x? I love my sister too, who gets first crack at this since she is 'Severus' in this story. **

**Have I also told you lately that I don't own any of this? Hmmm? Yep, I am just noodling around with characters belonging to JK Rowling.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**Whacked over the knuckles**

_22 September 1998_

_Dear Hermione,_

_I must say I am not surprised you responded so quickly. I am surprised at the lack of Gryffindorness of your words. Again, you surpass my expectations with your maturity of thought. I expected platitudes and pity. _

_My first letter to you was not easy to compose, and I wasted quite a few sheets of parchment until I was satisfied. This second letter is no easier because now that the main reason for the first letter has come to fruition, I am at a loss how to proceed further. Therefore, I am thankful for your questions to get me started however inane they __may be__._

_Great swooping bat? I should take points off for that Miss Granger. _

_As to where I grew up; I have a home at Spinner's End outside of Manchester. It is where I lived with my parents until they died when I was 17. I inherited the house and go there during the summer. It is a decrepit place, and I probably should get rid of it and find something handier; __I am, however, a creature of habit._

_My birthday is the 9__th__ of January. I apprenticed under Master Bartholomew Knobblefeld. He was a son-of-a-bitch who was hard of hearing and as old as Merlin, as they say. I am surprised my hands survived the experience and that I am able to prepare ingredients at all, for his __favourite__ method of reprimand was to whack me over my knuckles with the brass key to his potions cupboard. Damn heavy it was._

_Regardless, his methods of teaching were second-to-none, and it has stood me in good stead as I am one of the premier Potions Masters in Britain today._

_Do not expect any favouratism from me __with__ regard to your conduct in class or grades. I will take points as needed and grade to my expectations. Must keep the know-it-all on her toes, after all._

_I believe the social dictums require I now ask some questions of you in turn. We'll start with the mundane; where did you grow up, when is your birthday? What do you plan to do when you leave Hogwarts? I know your carbuncles want to become aurors; I assume you would want that as well?_

_You may address me as Severus only in correspondence.__ I admit to some difficulty referring to you as Her__mione and perhaps the occasional Miss Granger or Know-It-All, shall slip through the cracks__.__ I agree, perhaps it would be best to have Poe deliver our letters to our rooms. You will not need to change your wards as he is small enough and light enough to pass through them. He is quite smart and can be shown where to put the letters he delivers and he will do so every time. Of course, this will require that you leave the window open all times. Oh, and keep that fur rug you call a cat away from him; Poe might injure him, and I could not endure you rabbiting on and on about it._

_Severus_

_23 September 1998_

_Dear Severus,_

_I apologize for the delay in __sending__ this letter. I have been busy with classes and Head Girl duties_**_,_**_ as you well know. Since there is a larger than normal seventh year class, it takes much longer to complete rounds __these days,__ as all of the houses had to have dormitories added in some of the formerly unused parts of the castle. But my patrol is over, and I have settled down to do my homework and answer your latest missive. I would like to say that you have an inflated ego regarding your status as the premier potions Master in Britain, but since that is true, I cannot argue. _

_In answer to your questions, my birthday is the 19__th__ of September. I am actually nearly a year older than the most of my classmates. It was thrilling when I turned 11 and Professor McGonagall came to my house with my letter, but I was so upset to learn I'd have to wait a year to come to Hogwarts. I could play the 'what if' game had I been allowed to come the year I turned 11, but that would be fruitless. I must be honest and admit that I am really nearer to 20 given my use of the time turner in my third year._

_I grew up outside of London. As you are aware, the summer before I went on the horcrux hunt with the carbuncles, I __obliviated__ my parents and sent them to Australia. With the help of Kingsley Shacklebolt, I was able to retrieve them and their memories, and they are once again living in our home. Our relationship at this point is strained. __My__ Mum and Dad __are __both__ dentists and like you, I am an only child. _

_Most people are expecting me to follow Harry and Ron into the ministry and become an auror. I do not want that. __I've had enough of chasing after dark wizards and fearing for my life. I __hope to go to __University__ and study Transfiguration. Speaking of which, can you recommend any? After Uni, I am not sure what I want to do. I suppose I could teach but that's as far as I have thought. Believe it or not, I do not have my whole life planned out down to my funeral!_

_By the way, what is it about 'foolish wand waving' you don't like? There are some potions that require an incantation with wand movements to strengthen their effect. Please elaborate._

_Hermione_

_6 October 1998_

_Dear Severus,_

_What is it with Poe and Crooks? I was getting ready for bed last night when Poe delivered your letter, and as soon as he saw Crooks, he dive-bombed him before letting me take the letter from his beak. Have you been telling him evil things about my cat? Crooks has been acting the perfect gentleman every time Poe has made a delivery._

_I read with some trepidation the article in _The Prophet_ about the Ministery wanting to question the remaining Death Eaters, you included, in regard to some items they'd uncovered after combing through the ministry looking for dark articles. Why would they think you had anything to do with things found at the ministry? I thought that between Harry and Dumbledore's portrait you had been exonerated; why suddenly do you think this has come up? Have you been made aware of any of this prior to the article __in__ the paper?_

_I would hate to see all my hard work teaching you how to be a friend go to waste__ because of some idiotic Ministry lackey._

_Hermione_

_7 October 1998_

_Hermione,_

_I claim no responsibility for the abhorrent behavior of that walking carpet you call a familiar. Poe is an intelligent bird, and I am sure he sensed that your "cat" is up to no good, and Poe was chastising him as necessary._

_Do not let yourself get too worked up about the article in __T__he Prophet, Hermione. Yes, I have been summoned by the Minister to answer some questions, but I do not see it coming to more than that. I am not sure what has brought to the fore any notion about crimes committed by the remaining Death Eaters, but if you recall, _my_ crimes were paraded in front of the wizarding world once already, and a thorough job of it was done at that time. I fail to see what bringing that all up again will accomplish._

_That you fear all the work you have gone through to teach me how to be a friend only to lose it is ridiculous. In case you have never noticed, when I embark on learning to do something, I do so to perfection, and I can honestly say that the idea of being your friend is so new to me that I fear it will be some time before I perfect it._

_Severus_

_27 October 1998_

_Dear Severus,_

_Halloween is but four days away and already the students are terrified. You've turned into evil Professor Snape again and for what reason? Is it because of the events of your past and what Halloween represents to you? Is it the damn Ministry questioning and poking into your past, again?_

_I thought that once you fulfilled your debt by dying (just about) in that damned shack you would be free from the memories that drove you to your ultimate choices. Severus, just what was going on in your mind that night? What was it about Lily's death that drove you__ to__ commit__ yourself__ to Dumbledore __and to__ the life of a double agent? Harry told me about the __O__cclumency lessons and what James Potter did to you by the tree. Was this what spurned you on to become a Death Eater in the first place? Was Lily's refusal to forgive you another reason?_

_What was making Severus Snape tick when he was a misunderstood, brilliant, 17 year old boy in love?_

_Wow, I can't even believe I had the courage to write any of this, let alone place it in Poe's beak to take to you. _

_Please Severus, I hope you answer my questions. I know it __is__ early days yet in our friendship, but you been forthright with me so far, and I would like to feel that you would answer such intrusive questions from me. _

_Hermione_

_28 October 1998 _

_Dear Hermione,_

_I have not felt the need to call you insufferable for several weeks now, but after your last letter, I must say you've brought that need to the forefront. __Were it not for the fact that it was I who began this association, I would quite possibly bring it to a premature end. It is this aspect of my personality which has hindered my friendships in the past, so for that reason I feel I must attempt to overcome my frustration._

_I could attempt to answer each of your questions__; however, I am not sure that at this juncture of our friendship that I want to give you the answers I think you are seeking. __I am trying, in vain, to understand why you think it appropriate to ask me these things. __I have not fully reconciled myself to the last twenty years of my life, let alone be able to it share any of it with someone other than Albus, and he never did know everything that made the 17 year old me tick and what drove me to make the decision I made when I joined the Death Eaters. It was years before I realized that HE, Albus Dumbledore, was part of the decision to join them and the gods forgive me, my salvation from them._

_Does that shock you Hermione? Come now, surely that magnificent brain of yours figured out that Dumbledore was a master manipulator—using everything and everyone he felt useful to achieve the ends he desired. He even used you and the dynamic dunderheads to achieve the Dark Lord's demise. He was not concerned in the least that any of you could have died in carrying out his crazy plans (I am rather glad that you did not die,__ despite your insufferably rude curiosity__). I never knew whom I should have been more wary of, him or the Dark Lord. It was Dumbledore that forced me to spy for him. It was payment, as he called it, for my freedom from Azkaban when the Death Eaters were rounded up after the Dark Lord fell that Halloween._

_That Halloween...oh gods woman, what you are asking of me to confess to you…_

_As you know, it was I that told the Dark Lord of the prophecy that dingbat Trelawney made; which is __the primary reason__ I despise her, by the way. Why he chose the Potter's I am not sure. Perhaps he was going to go after the Longbottom's that night as well, but it was Lily and her family that were killed first. I was devastated. Lily and I had not spoken since that day in fifth year but I still loved her, and when she died it was though a piece of me had died as well. I was lost. The Dark Lord promised me that he would spare her but in the end he obviously did not. I left the ranks of the Death Eaters that day. _

_This time of year, Hermione, reminds me that trust is a fragile thing and that a misspoken word can kill. It still pains me that I was probably directly responsible for the death of a woman I would always love, but would never have. __That is why I am providing you with some of the answers you seek. By asking me about Lily, you are asking me to trust you. Do not prove that the trust I have gifted you with is misplaced, Miss Granger. I am biting my tongue and surpressing my natural urge to be cruel in response to your insatiable inquisitiveness; I do not wish for any misspoken words to destroy our tentative alliance._

_I do not want you to feel that I am comparing you to Lily. I find that you are a far more accepting, caring and giving person than she was. I was blind to many of her faults, but __subconsciously aware__ of them at the same time. Lily was beautiful to be sure, but very vain. _

_Please bear with me as I work my way through these few days; once it is past I suspect I will return to my usual stunning persona. _

_Severus_

_1 November 1998_

_Dear Severus,_

_It has taken me these few days to read and understand your last letter. That you would trust me enough to share these details, these most intimate details, stuns me. I had to take some time to think about just who this man I am writing to is. Is he the same man who stands in front of a class of pupils_**_, _**_his__ dispassion __evident__ on his face and in his voice; is this the man who, without a thought for how hard a student worked, slashes through his or her homework or assigned detention simply for breathing too hard? Or, am I now writing to the man who wanted to learn how to be a friend and be more social and is finding he is able to do so without fear of rejection or reproach? I hope the latter __is correct._

_I am glad you made such a conscious effort not to push me away or lash out. Sometimes I will ask too much of you Severus, that is an integral part of any friendship. So too, is refraining from responding cruelly. Your trust in me is wholly appreciated and will never, ever be misplaced. You should be proud of how__ you dealt with my last letter; in all honesty I knew it would not be well received, and I suppose on some level I was testing you. I do offer my apologies for making you discuss something so painful; however I will not regret initiating a conversation which has undoubtedly strengthened our friendship._

_You gave me food for thought regarding Albus. I think I always knew he was a manipulator, but not to the point as you described him. Looking back, I can see what you mean; how on earth could he dare to place an 11 year old boy in harm's way in order to put down evil? A boy, who in your own opinion, was mediocre at best regarding magic. How could I, proclaimed to be the 'brightest witch of her age' have fallen for his mechanizations as well? Are we all blind in love and desire for all things right to prevail? _

_I have noticed you seem to be more like your usual snarky self now that Halloween has passed. It is good to have my snarky friend back._

_Hermione_

_3 November 1998_

_Dear Hermione,_

_I hope that I have not given you any reason to despise Dumbledore in any way. Despite the old codger's mechanizations, he was still a good man and without him, we would have never succeeded in the war. We are only as blind to the desire for all things right to prevail as we are blind to our prejudices and influences whether we are muggle or wizard._

_I was heavily influenced by the likes of Lucius Malfoy and Tom Riddle at the lowest point of my life and the height of my despair over Lily. Hitler was able to influence Germans living in squalor and economic ruin with his charismatic abilities to convince and make promises to the people to do his bidding and like the Dark Lord, Adolf Hitler was able to control his followers with punishments and retribution. The man was without a doubt evil, but he had a way about him that could stir the blood. Tom Riddle was the same way and to some extent so was the American President, John Kennedy. Young, attractive and with a charismatic flair that had the people eating out of his hand. Who knows what Kennedy could have done to the American public had he lived?_

_I find myself wondering just exactly what you have done to me. I read back what I have just written and find myself answering deeply personal questions that you have not even asked. At this point in time I feel satisfied that the trust I have in you is not misplaced; I must confess there is something freeing about discussing these things with someone who is not out to judge me. I accept your apology Hermione, even with the classic Gryffindor terms and conditions attached. I doubt you ever regret much of what you say, and yes it does seem to have strengthened our bond. Test me again, however, and you may find yourself learning what it is to feel regret._

_I have noticed as we move closer to the time of your NEWTS, you are behaving much as you did when preparing for your OWLS. Hermione, they are still months away. You are more than ready for you NEWTS. Time and time again the staff members __have__ told you that you could have taken them in your fifth year and passed admirably. You have been running on adrenaline ever since you and the Carbuncles-That-Can't-Function-Without-Asking-You-To-Do-It-For-Them, left on the horcrux hunt. It is time to slow down Hermione, please. Can you not rest in the comforting knowledge that you already know enough to take the exams tomorrow and score outstanding? Perhaps you will need to be assigned some detentions during which you will be forced to remain inactive._

_Severus_

* * *

><p>Hermione tucked the letter back into the envelope. "As you can see, your granddad was willing to share some of his thoughts about that time of his life with me, but I didn't get the full story until well after we were married."<p>

"Was it so hard for him to tell you, Gran?"

"Yes, it was. It took him several years to tell me the whole story. Sometimes, when I was up in the wee sma's feeding the babies, he would come in and sit with me. He told me many stories during those feedings; about his childhood, schooling, his early teaching days. Granted he told me much during the days we wrote to each other, but to hear his words, hear his emotions…it was hard for him, but helpful at the same time. He really began to recover after we married. It was as if our being married really confirmed for him that he was wanted, was loved and was deemed worthy."

"Did he ever completely recover?"

"It is hard to say; I certainly think so. He had his rough days but only if he was badgered by some outside source regarding those years. Usually some insensitive clod from _The Prophet_ around the anniversary of Voldemort's fall, or some Uni student doing a dissertation on the wars." Hermione placed the letter into the box before gathering the others that had been read and returning them to their rightful home. She made to get up from the sofa and said, "Well, it's late, and I think it's time for you to run along now. I have an appointment at St. Mungo's tomorrow early, so if you want to come over, come after lunch."

Glennis kissed Hermione's cheek. "Good night, Gran," The young girl moved to the front door. "I'll see you for tea, shall I?"

"That will be fine. Good night!" Hermione closed the door and turned to the empty room. She smiled as she thought of the letters she wanted to share with Glennis. Reading his words helped lessen the pain of his absence, it was almost as though she could hear his familiar, comforting drawl breaking through the silence of the lonely room and providing her with companionship. She paused and looked back at the box of letters before exiting the room with a softly spoken, "Goodnight Severus."


	4. Chapter 4

**Here you go folks! I am so pleased with the response to my story so far. You guys are wonderful! The two fine ladies who help me with my story are fabulous as well, and I would totally lost without them!**

**J.K. Rowling owns it all. Me? Not so much.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**A Spark of Change **

Glennis arrived around 3 p.m. the next afternoon after having spent a busy day at the apothecary established by her late great-grandfather, Severus. Father, sons, and grandsons came into the business each offering their knowledge to help the shop grow and expand. Glennis was the first daughter to work in the shop. She had a Master's in Charms, and her work enhanced the research and development of new potions sold at the apothecary.

"Gran, I'm here!" she hollered as she opened the door to Hermione's house. She spotted Poe, the ever present raven, as he sat on his perch and went over to greet him. "You're a love," she cooed as she stroked his feathers.

"Come join me in the sitting room, dear; I felt the wards shift and knew you'd arrived. I have the tea all ready," Hermione replied as she watched Glennis peel off her cloak and come to sit down beside her.

"The love letters today?" she asked, plopping down beside her great grandmother on the sofa, taking the teacup held out to her.

"Not quite yet. I want to show you the letters where things gradually began to change. But, I also want to tell you about an event that happened that was the spark of that change." Hermione settled more comfortably into the sofa cushions. "Before the end of the autumn term, we had an order meeting at Grimmauld Place. Severus and I had a chance to talk outside of the school setting, and it was the turning point of our relationship."

_Flashback_

The second week of November was bitterly cold, and it seemed the snowfall would never end. An Order meeting had been called for the weekend, and all remaining members were to be present to discuss the upcoming Death Eater inquiries and how Snape would fare in all of it. The Order was determined to ensure Snape was protected at all times from possible incarceration in Azkaban.

Hermione apparated into the park across the street from number 12 Grimmauld Place. As she straightened her clothes, two other cracks of apparition heralded the arrival of Harry and Ron. The trio then made their way to the house, Harry and Ron scuffling in the snow and lobbing snowballs at each other. Hermione shook her head at the pair and cast a quick _protego_ lest she be pelted, surreptitiously casting a spell to make a few snowballs fly at the boys. Their shouts of indignation followed her as she made her way to the front door smiling.

The meeting started not long after their arrival. Minerva, Kingsley, Flitwick, Snape, Arthur and Molly sat round the kitchen table nursing drinks when the threesome entered. Molly immediately stood and began fussing over the teens, deploring how thin they were and that she needed to find some sandwiches to 'fatten them up'. Snape smirked when he caught Hermione's eye as she blushed over Molly's ministrations.

Minerva began the meeting with her usual briskness. The fact that her 'r's' rolled more than usual indicated her agitation over the state of matters. She was surrrrre as she was a McGonagall, Snape would not be rrrrreturrrning to Azkaban. Snape rolled his eyes at her overt display of affection.

Once the meeting had concluded, Hermione hurried to the library where she knew several law books relating to the wizarding justice system were shelved. She wanted to look through them and perhaps take a few back to Hogwarts with her. She was certain she could find some ruling or other that would help Severus circumvent any need to appear at a hearing.

She was tucked up on the couch with books scattered around her deep into her reading and didn't hear the door to the library open. She jerked in surprise at the baritone voice that interrupted her.

"Miss Granger, it is nearly time to return to school."

"Goodness, Professor, you startled me!" Hermione bent to retrieve the book that had fallen from her hand.

"My apologies," Severus stated stepping further into the room and closing the door. "What on earth could you possibly need all those books for?" He approached the sofa and picked one up. "_'Wizarding Law Precepts of 1787'_? Dry reading even for you."

"I am researching to see if it is even remotely acceptable to try you once again even though you were exonerated the first time. "

"Miss Granger," Severus began.

"Please, call me Hermione. We are alone, and I think we've gotten a bit past the formal address, haven't we?"

Severus sat down on the couch beside her. When he first opened the door, he noticed how slight her figure pouring over the book was. Now that he was closer, he also noticed her hair was not so bushy anymore, and she had filled out in various places. Certainly her face was far more womanly than before. When she first returned from the Horcrux hunt, she was extremely thin and while she had recovered from her ordeal, she still maintained a trim figure (yet he had noticed she could eat like a trencherman). She had also added about two more inches in height since he remembered her as a sixth year but she was still not tall, no more than 165 cm.

"Hermione." The strangeness of using her first name sent a jolt to his gut. "You have so many other things you need to be doing. Researching wizarding law should not be one of them. Minerva has quite a plan set in motion; please let her deal with this. You keep to your regular workload," Severus implored.

"Profess-"

"Severus; you may call me Severus," he interrupted.

Hermione smiled, "Severus. If there is one thing you surely know about me is that I am stubbornly loyal to my friends." Without thinking, she placed her hand over his. "_All_ of my friends. I will not let you be taken away to Azkaban because some overzealous fool at the Ministry is trying to overcompensate for their lack of action regarding Death Eaters in the first place!"

Severus had jerked momentarily when Hermione took his hand, but quickly relaxed as she continued her impassioned speech. He turned her little hand over in his big one so that he held it firmly, noting its warmth and the uncertainty of how to feel at the novelty of a welcome hand in his own.

"Minerva has a plan in place," he reiterated. "I have given written testimony to her about any dark articles I am aware of in the Ministry. It is actually very little; the Dark Lord usually kept me busy making potions and spying at Hogwarts. Anything dark I am aware of has to do with some potions, but then they are potions I have patents for and because they are borderline dark, vials of them are to be kept at the ministry." He squeezed her hand, let go, and stood up. "Now, put those books away and get ready to go." He stepped to the door and opened it, but turned around to face her again.

"Hermione, thank you," he spoke softly. "Your loyalty means a great deal to me."

"You will always have it, Severus," Hermione smiled in response. Clearing his throat, Severus left to room with a swish of his robes. Hermione flopped back on the sofa. _Oh dear,_ she thought. She rubbed the hand that Severus had held. She could still feel the warmth from his hand on hers, and it felt as if he were still holding it. Hermione felt as though the dynamic of their friendship had just shifted. Hermione knew that face-to-face encounters would allow their friendship to grow, but what she couldn't possibly have foreseen was that these encounters would allow something else to grow; something wonderful yet, at the same time, wholly terrifying.

Severus shut the door and leant against it, the breath he was holding whooshing out of his nose. He held up the hand that had held Hermione's, feeling the echo of her hand's presence; he felt the need to visually ascertain that he had indeed let go. How had he allowed himself to get to this point? How had a young and gentle girl like Hermione managed to shred his carefully constructed defences so completely that the mere touch of her hand left him feeling like he had just been hit by the Hogwarts Express? Part of him wanted to sever all ties with the woman (and yes, he admitted she was no longer a girl) and return to the rigid student/teacher protocol that kept him safe from any emotion.

But, he had _asked_ for this….this friendship. He had asked this particular woman to help him learn to be sociable, so if she stripped him of his defences he had only himself to blame. A part of him burned with a hope he hadn't felt since he was 15, and it left him giddy. He closed his eyes wearily before he regained composure. Clenching his fist as though it would imprint the echo of her hand for always, he left the house as quickly as he could.

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><p><em>15 December 1998<em>

_Dear Hermione,_

_End of term is finally upon us. I will finish grading all the blasted course work, return to Spinner's End, settle myself in with a bottle of Firewhiskey and not come out until term begins again in January. The only light I will have during this time is your letters. I am uncomfortable in admitting they have come to mean a great deal to me. Poe will know where to find me, but where will you be for the holidays? _

_Prior to my descent into my bottle, however is the dratted Yule Ball that Minerva has 'encouraged' me to attend. I will be forced to watch your fellow classmates pour too much contraband liquor into the punch and hope they don't breathe near a candle. I will, however, take great delight in blasting rose bushes apart and taking points from groping couples. _

_During the ball, it is appropriate for students and teachers to dance. Although I typically refuse to partake, I wondered if you would dance with me? As you know, I only reluctantly participate in social situations or 'spectacles', as I am sure this will turn out to be. The thought that others are scrutinizing our interaction invokes a great deal of embarrassment and anxiousness within me; these feelings are only surpassed by the inevitable pride and amazement I am certain I would feel if you are willing to honour me with a dance. _

_Good luck with the rest of your end of term exams; we both know you'll do well._

_Severus_

_20 December 1998_

_Dear Severus,_

_I am sorry this letter is delayed; you know how I get when end of term exam time is upon me. Thank you for your quick notes at breakfast time each day of the exams wishing me luck. They gave me a chance to smile and put aside some of my nervousness. I also thank you for taking a moment to speak to me in the hall the other day. Your unwavering faith in my abilities means more to me than you could imagine._

_I am ensconced in my bed with Crooks revelling over the fact exams are done! I think I did all right. DADA was easy; that Professor Clark doesn't have an ounce of sense in his head. Imagine asking a member of the Golden Trio if she could perform a Patronus. Was he petrified during the entire war or what? You set quite a fiddly potion as well for the final exam. I am not quite sure I added the skrewt dung at the right time and the colour, rather than being cerulean, was more navy-coloured. _

_Please do not drown yourself in Firewhiskey. Surely you have some research to do? I will be spending the hols at _The Burrow_, and I can teach Poe where to put letters for safekeeping. _

_I will be going to the Yule Ball with carbuncle 2, and I would definitely appreciate your rescuing me from his two left feet. He has been hinting at wanting to ask me something and finding the perfect time. I fear he is going to ask me to be his girlfriend, and I honestly do not feel for him as he feels for me._

_I understand your feelings about the ball, Severus. You are a singularly private man, and to allow yourself to be scrutinized openly by the students and staff is a big step for you. However, we have been under scrutiny since the end of the war, have we not? Every moment I am in public with a member of the Order or another student is chronicled by that wretched Skeeter woman as yet another notch on my bedpost. You, too, have been vilified by the press and population in general. Could you not look on this as a chance to test new waters? A chance to realize that not all social events are unmitigated bores or chances to scorn and humiliate the participant? _

_It might be prudent; however, for you to spin a few of your colleagues around the dance floor before you dance with me. As you said, dancing with a student is appropriate, but it might lessen any suspicion of anything more than a student and teacher dancing if they've seen your twinkle toes traipsing about the floor prior to a dance with me. Too cheeky?_

_I got you a Christmas present. I will have Poe deliver it to Spinner's End on Christmas morning. Please do not feel obligated to return the favor. Sometimes friendship means doing things without expectation of return. _

_Yours,_

_Hermione_

"What happened at the Ball, Gran?"

"We did have our dance. It was wonderful! Your great grandfather was so light on his feet, and he kept spinning and spinning me. I laughed so much. He was witty and told me the most horrid things about some of the other teachers, and he actually graced me with a smile when we were through. On the day of the ball Poe delivered a gift from Severus as well. It was a gorgeous necklace. I still wear it." Hermione pulled out a delicate chain from her sweater. Hanging from it was an oblong green pendant double wrapped in silver. Glennis fingered it a moment in admiration before Hermione continued. "Our friendship was growing deeper, and I felt as though I was learning to know him far more than I could have hoped for. I liked that idea."

_23 December 1998_

_Dear Hermione,_

_I hurry to write this so that Poe may deliver it before you leave in the morning. I've only now just returned to my chambers after herding the last of the transgressors (gropers) to their dormitories._

_You looked lovely this evening. When you walked into the room on carbuncle 2's arm, I was so blown away by the graceful young woman you have become that I stopped breathing. Of course I started again.*** **For two long hours I watched you dance with bumbling idiots who had no idea where to put their hands or their feet. It was enormously amusing to watch you turndown that drunken lout Clark when he asked you to dance._

_You honoured me more than you know when you consented to dance with me. You dance very well. To find that we could as easily talk together as we write was a pleasant and welcome experience. It was also a quite pleasant and welcome experience to watch the carbuncles faces as we danced. Does Mr. Weasley have problems with his adenoids? I don't think I've ever seen anyone hang their mouth open for so long. _

_We did not get around to speaking of it, but did Mr. Weasley speak to you regarding the matter you wrote about? _

_Enjoy your holiday at _The Burrow. _Hopefully you won't become the victim of some new joke product the twins have invented and will return to the castle as you left. _

_Severus_

_26 December 1998_

_Happy Boxing Day, Severus!_

_I am lying down after Molly's humongous lunch; three kinds of meat, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and all kinds of pudding. Several members of the Order were invited to join us; why did not you come? I must confess I was disappointed that it was not you each time the door opened and more company arrived. _

_Later today we are going outside for a huge snowball fight. The twins have been lurking about in the house and back garden; I suspect it has something to do with New Year's Eve._

_Molly will have a party then, she asked if you would come. Please do._

_Yours,_

_Hermione_

_30 December 1998_

_Dear Severus,_

_I am sorry if Poe returns to you upset. Pig was feeling amorous and well… _

_Two more days left of the hols and then school begins again. Your letters while I was away kept me from going spare. There are far too many redheads here and far too many blatant suggestions that carbuncle 2 and I should be together. _

_Ronald did finally find the time to corner me and ask me to date him. He also attempted to kiss me among some other less than wanted manoeuvres. Once I had hexed him to get him into submission, I made is quite plain that I was not interested in pursuing a relationship beyond that of friends. He was quite put out, and Molly seemed a bit off after that but soon came around. _

_I will be happy to get to school and begin to revise again. And of course, see you._

_Hermione_

_2 January 1999_

_Dear Hermione,_

_Let me first wish you a Happy New Year. This New Year will see you graduated and off to Uni, the dynamic dunderheads finally pried from your apron strings and as for me, if the new year can continue in the same manner the last three months of this year have been, then I will consider it a banner year for me indeed._

_I found myself quite unnerved by Mr. Weasley's unwelcome advances and had I been able, I would have apparated to _The Burrow _and hexed him and Potter (for good measure) into oblivion. I am smug enough to admit I wouldn't mind peeking at your memory of it; I do so love to see a member of 'The Golden Trio' not getting their way, yourself excluded of course…well, these days anyways._

_I spent Boxing Day brewing Wolfsbane for St Mungo's and let the time get away from me as I am wont to do when I am working with a fiddly potion. That being said, I must humbly give my regrets to you; I cannot be at _The Burrow_ this evening. Minerva has had a family emergency and has asked me to stay at the castle for the next few days. I am not sure which is worse, being there amongst the red headed contagion or being here with a drunken Hooch, Sinistra and, horror of horrors, Trelawney. The things those women get up to after one too many drinks._

_I have an offer, or rather, Minerva persuaded me to offer you a chance to earn extra credit. She has decided that I must offer remedial lessons to the idiots who actually thought that because they made into my advanced class they would not have to work for their grade. I am aghast that they would actually think that I would go easier now that my spying days are over. Unfortunately, Minerva's thinly veiled request means I will have less time to devote to my grading. This brings me to my request: would you be willing to come to my office on the nights I give remedial lessons and assist me with grading?_

_I await you answer,_

_Severus_

_9 January 1999_

_Happy Birthday, Severus!_

_A little cat with square markings around its eyes told me today was your birthday, so I wanted to send a little something to help you celebrate. This same cat told me you adore custard tarts and you would be a right pig if you didn't share them with the person who is slaving away doing your grading. _

_You are a dear friend, Severus, and I hope you have pleasant day!_

_Yours,_

_Hermione_

_9 January 1999_

_Hermione,_

_On said person's birthday, one does not have to share if one does not want to. _

_Severus_

_p.s. They are delicious, by the way. Sorry about the stain on the corner of the parchment; a blob of custard dropped out of one of the tarts as I was eating it._

_*Lionel Hardcastle spoke those words to Jean Pargetter in "As Time Goes By" a popular sitcom borrowed from the BBC. Lionel also adores custard tarts! _


	5. Chapter 5

**We jump ahead a few months in this chapter to start to get to the 'good stuff'. Throughout the rest of this story, you will find that there are gaps between letters. Assume that there are letters between the gaps and the ones you will read from here to the end are the ones that move the plot along and get us to various situations that will be highlighted in this story.**

**A much deserved thank you and gobs of hugs to my britpicker, xpage394x and my beta, twinsy twiper!**

**An even more deserved thank you to all of you who have put this story on alert and reviewed so kindly. It inspires me to hop right back into proofreading and writing!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 <strong>

**Breathe Hermione, Breathe**

Spring was heralding summer and the final days of the Hogwarts school year. Poe soared through the warm air currents, the sun warming his body. Securely clamped in his beak was Hermione's latest letter to Severus. The bird dove toward the ground on the protected side of the castle to an open window. He hopped through the window and took one short fly toward the box on the corner of Severus' desk. Once the parchment landed in the box, Poe flew to his perch to have a drink of water and wait for his master's return.

_10 June 1999_

_Dear Severus,_

_I am nearly delirious. I can't believe NEWTS are nearly upon me. I know I haven't studied enough. My acceptance at the Glasgow Institute of Magic hinges on these results. Please Severus, you must help me revise. I don't think I will be able to make any of the potions I know will be on the test._

_I can hear you now though…..'Breathe Hermione, breathe'. And you are calling me a foolish girl and telling me that I have been adequately prepared for these examinations since fifth year. I've tried some Muggle relaxation and meditation exercises that Madame Pomfrey suggested, but as soon as I start to relax my mind suddenly conjures up a thought about a rune translation or potion ingredient and off I go. I will be lucky to make it through these exams without hexing someone to bits._

_Although right now is a difficult time for me, the thought of being a graduate at the end of it all makes it worthwhile. __ Are you going to the party at _The Burrow_ after the ceremony and lunch at Hogwarts? I know that would like to see you there._

_I know we've discussed a few tentative plans for visiting this summer; are you still in agreement with this? I hate to think that now I've graduated we will drift apart. I value you too much as a friend to let you go!_

_Hermione_

_10 June 1999_

_Dear Hermione,_

_What do I have to do to get it through that know-it-all brain of yours that you are more than ready to sit your NEWTs and yes, you have been more than ready since your fifth year? You will more than likely eclipse even (dare I admit it) my scores on them. You are truly the brightest witch of your age, and I am proud to consider you as my friend._

_I am very pleased that you chose Glasgow Institute over the other choices you had and am confident that you will be accepted without even trying. With you nearby, I am sure that you will be able to continue to annoy me via letter and visits to Hogwarts. _

_Yes, I have been issued an invitation to _The Burrow_ for the graduation party. I had not planned on attending; to be surrounded by that much red may make me come all over in spots. However, Molly, as you are aware, can be quite convincing especially when she has that powerhouse Minerva behind her._

_I believe there are few summer events that you may enjoy if you would allow me to escort you to them. The Globe has A Midsummer's Night this year, and there is a new display of ancient runes at the Wizarding section of the British Museum which you might like. _

_The NEWTS start tomorrow; good luck—we both know you'll do well. _

_Severus _

_16 June 1999_

_Severus,_

_Thank you for the note of encouragement before my exams this week. They helped put my mind at ease. Just three more to go: Arithmancy, Potions, and History of Magic. _

_Are you all right? You seem to be preoccupied of late. I know you are busy grading exams, but usually you spare a moment to as least speak to me in the hall. You've not even looked my way lately in the Great Hall at meal time. _

_I hope everything is all right._

_Hermione_

_17 June 1999_

_Hermione,_

_I have been quite busy with end of year forms and exams. I do not like all this fiddly paperwork. _

_I apologize if I seem distance; it is nothing you've done, just blasted end of year work._

_Severus_

_20 June 1999_

_Dear Severus,_

_The NEWTS are done! Now I can put my mind to more pleasant thoughts of what lies ahead. I received your graduation gift this morning. The bracelet is exquisite; thank you, Severus._

_I can now finish my application requirements for the Glasgow Institute. Once I've done that it's just a matter of waiting until the end of August. I believe until I am familiar with the Glasgow area and the regimen of University I will live in the dormitories, but I plan to find myself a little flat by years' end._

_Now that I've made nice, I must ask again; Severus, are you all right? You seem a bit reclusive lately. You have not spoken to me in passing in the hall nor asked me to help you grade essays lately. Are you all right? Have I done something to offend you? _

_I will see you after graduation and at _The Burrow_; perhaps we can talk about whatever is troubling you then?_

_Hermione_

"What was troubling him, Gran," Glennis asked curiously.

"It seems your grandfather was in a dither over a question he wanted to ask me at the graduation party. It took him forever to do it. He was so funny; he'd open his mouth to speak to me, close it and wander off. I must admit, I was getting quite frustrated!"

"Did he ever finally come out and say what he wanted?"

Hermione chuckled before she answered, "Yes, but it is not so much what he said as what he did."

"And that was?" Glennis bounced on her seat cushion in anticipation of her answer.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback<em>

Severus finally managed to peel Hermione away from the contingent of redheads intent on consuming her attention the entire night. He asked her to walk with him away from the crowd.

As they walked, Hermione spoke, "Severus, you've been out of sorts for days now. Even your letters have been a bit dismal. What is the matter? Do you feel that you've learned enough about friendship you no longer need to write to me?" They had stopped on the lane that ran into the main village of St. Ottery Catchpole and leant against one of the crooked fence rails.

"No, not that, Hermione. I have had something on my mind…something I wanted to ask you."

"What is it? It must be something quite difficult for the state it has you in." She looked up into Severus' face. On impulse, she raised her hand and tucked a strand of his long hair behind his ear. Severus grabbed her hand and turned it in his so their fingers entwined.

"Hermione," he croaked out and then cleared his throat to continue. "Hermione, you've become a good friend to me. More than I had hoped for when I wrote you back in September. Somehow between your letters and helping me with the essays at night after classes, you've wormed your way into my psyche. I was wondering if…" Severus' throat dried up and he couldn't say the rest of what he wanted to say.

"Wondering what, Severus?" Hermione's heart was thumping. She had begun to care for the snarky potions master in a manner that went beyond friendship for months now, beginning with the order meeting in November. She had dreaded the day she would graduate and he would tell her letter writing was over and that he no longer needed her. What happened next took her completely by surprise.

**And just what DID Severus do? Betcha' can't guess...go ahead, guess. You're probably right. You'll just have to wait until early next week to find out!**

**JK Rowling own this, not me. I am just playing around. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own the Harry Potter Universe, dang nammit! **

**Sorry for teasing you all with the last chapter...hope this makes up for it. **

**Thanks to xpage394x, my fabulous britpicker who's bringing me up to speed with modern British/Scottish lingo! **

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 <strong>

**In All Your Victorian Manner**

_Flashback continued:_

"Hermione," Severus licked his lips nervously. "I was wondering if you'd let me...if you would consider letting me….oh bloody hell." With no warning, Severus cupped Hermione's face and kissed her.

For a moment, Hermione stood stock still unsure what was happening. When she realized what it was, she responded enthusiastically! For a few minutes (or was it hours?) the couple let their emotions wash over each other, the kiss become deeper and more confident. Hands felt faces, combed through hair, squeezed shoulders and eventually wound around one another to pull one to the other. When the kiss was finally over, they pulled back to look at each other with shy smiles on their faces.

"What did you want to ask me, Severus?" Hermione asked while patting and fussing with Severus' rumpled robes.

"I was wondering if you'd let me court you?"

Hermione stopped her fussing and looked up at the wizard. "You…..you want to court me? You mean like in Victorian times when a man courted a woman usually with the intent to eventually….."

"Yes, Hermione, if you will permit me. I am not a man to trifle with when it comes to matters of the heart. You know the depths to which I can love someone. If I court you, and you allow it, I intend to carry it through to a natural conclusion."

"Are you saying you love me?" In the moonlight, Hermione's eyes glistened.

"I am saying that I am beginning to care for you as more than a friend. I want to court you with the intention that we will…..love at some point."

Hermione thought for a moment and then stood on her toes to kiss him again. "Sir, you may court me. You may court me in all your Victorian manner." She smiled widely when she observed his eyes light up and a lip quirk in a manner which might have been construed as a smile.

"Very well then," he said, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "Perhaps we should re-join the party before the Weasleys and Potter form some sort of recon party as I am sure they will think I've turned you into some pickled potions ingredients by now."

Hermione let out a giggle. "As if," she then turned serious. "Severus, do we tell them?"

"You may do as you like. I am not ashamed, although you know I am a private man, and I would probably prefer ringing announcements not be made."

"Well then, let's use a bit of Slytherin cunning and see how long it takes anyone to notice. " Hermione grinned wickedly before reaching out to him. Hand in hand, the couple slowly walked back to The Burrow.

* * *

><p>Hermione and Glennis giggled together when Hermione finished her story. They chatted about the first few days Hermione and Severus had begun courting as they cleared up the tea mess. With a kiss to her cheek, Glennis left her great grandmother for the evening with a promise to come by the next day.<p>

Hermione got ready for bed not long after. She thought about the letters she wanted to show Glennis tomorrow. She decided to show her the letters from the summer she and Severus had begun courting, but when she remembered what they consisted of, she blushed and decided not to. _No, I think I'll keep those letters to myself, _she thought. Hermione smiled as she slipped under the covers. She took the box from the nightstand and looked through until she found the ones dated from early August of 1999.

_8 August 1999_

_Dearest Severus,_

_It is dawn, and I am sitting in the kitchen of your little home. I am still a little giddy after last night. _

_I never thought my first time would be so wonderful. You were caring, loving, tender, and I can see you sneering as I write this! Honestly, it was the most magnificent moment of my life. I hope there will be many, many more moments like that. I hope that you can teach me what pleases you and help me learn what pleases me. Do you see now why I was so adamant about having a flat in Glasgow? If you think I am not going to want to have you in my bed while I am at university, I shall surely hex you!_

_I am thinking back to the graduation party at _The Burrow _when_ _we were caught kissing by the twins. I have never heard so much spluttering and smirking in my life. Who knew a smirk could be heard? _

_I am sorry that despite your desire for 'ringing announcements' to not be made, it wound up on the front page of _The Prophet _anyway. How were we to know that Rita Skeeter had crashed the party as her Animagus form? You would have thought Harry Potter graduating would have been the bigger story. It made my first few days at _The Burrow_ after you left rough. Everyone figured Ron and I would become engaged, but honestly, how could they have thought that? I would have thought that everyone remembered what happened at Christmas, but apparently not. Molly kept glaring at me and Ron wouldn't speak to me. Arthur, bless him, told me that he was happy you and I were together. That after all you'd been through, you deserved to be happy. He said that Ron and I would never have lasted; I needed someone who could keep up with my overactive brain, and Ron would never have been suitably able. _

_I hear you stirring, love, so I will finish this off and come to you so that you don't think you frightened me away with your actions last night…..as if!_

_All my love,_

_Hermione_

_12 August 1999_

_Dearest One,_

_These last few days spent not just making love to you but spending all day and night with you, have brought me more joy than I could ever have imagined. That you are still here in my home stuns me; that you are currently laying in my bathtub thrills me. I intend to join you shortly._

_Would you consider spending the rest of the summer with me here at Spinner's End? I know that the house is depressing in its looks but perhaps if you are willing to stay, we can bring some life to this tired ramshackle old building, as well as to this ramshackle tired old man._

_I got a chuckle out of _The Prophet's_ coverage of the way we accidentally revealed our relationship to the public. Whatever did you do to gain the ire of Ms Skeeter? As for the reaction of certain members of the Weasley clan—pah! I always knew Arthur was more intelligent than he looked. I, too, must admit that at one time I thought you and the Ginger Jerk would end up together and am rather pleased that you go for the tall dark type._

_Please consider my invitation for the rest of the summer. We could take a few day trips and visit the continent if you desire, but I would be just as content to sit on the patio and debate any and all topics we care too._

_Yours always, _

_Severus_

Hermione replaced the letters and moved the box to the empty side of the bed. With a sigh, she put out the light and rolled over, pulling Severus' pillow to her, and cuddling it to her chest. It still smelt of him; she hadn't change the case on it yet. Although sadness overwhelmed her at that moment, fate was kind and her emotional exhaustion lulled her to sleep quickly.

* * *

><p>Glennis arrived at Hermione's house the next morning and found Hermione ready for her in the sitting room with the box of letters and a tea tray.<p>

"Hello love," said Hermione. Poe, upon hearing his mistress' voice, hopped off his perch and onto her shoulder. Hermione stroked his head. "Idiot bird," she murmured softly.

"Morning, Gran. How are you?" Glennis asked leaning in to kiss her great grandmother's cheek.

"I am well. Sit, sit; I have some more letters to share." Hermione patted the sofa asking Glennis to sit next to her.

"What are you going to show me today?"

"Some of my letters from the summer we began courting and from University. Your great granddad and I worked hard to see each other as often as possible between my studies and his obligations at Hogwarts. We had a few disagreements about our age at this point. I also found out why he never wanted to be headmaster again, and we celebrated our first Christmas together."

"But if you started writing letters in September 1998, wouldn't you have had your first Christmas already?"

"Well, yes, but as friends. This was our first official Christmas as a couple."

_21 September 1999_

_I am lonesome without you, dearest Severus. _

_It was one year ago that I received your first letter. It has been a wonderful year. _

_I am finally settled in and have completed my first few weeks of classes. However, I am unable to concentrate and that is entirely your fault. My thoughts drift back to a lazy August spent with you. I miss our sunrise breakfasts at Spinner's End. Our debates, brewing together, and our little trips meant that I learned to know you beyond the stone walls of the castle to see the man behind the persona of teacher. _

_Speaking of our debates…I still laugh and smile to myself when I think of the one night we were debating the properties of milk thistle for use in memory boosting potions. Neither of us realized how loud we'd become until the police showed up. That the police showed up just as you transfigured the quill you had into the thistle plant itself was badly timed, but the look on his face…..it was; however, not quite as funny to explain to the auror that showed up soon after why you had to Obliviate said policeman. _

_My classes are going well, and I have made a few new friends. My roommate reminds me of Lavender Brown. All she wants to do is go clubbing after classes, and she is certain that she has just the right bloke for me to meet regardless of how many times I've told her that I am seeing someone already. I've gone to a pub once or twice, but it is not the same as being out with you, and I don't stay long. _

_I've had a few letters from the carbuncles who apparently are enjoying auror training. Your letters; however, mean more to me than any of theirs. _

_Love, would you come and see me soon? I am sorry that I live in the dorms right now and you wouldn't be able to spend the night, but perhaps we could see a movie and have some dinner?_

_Please give me best to Minerva and the others._

_I love you Severus,_

_Your Hermione_

_22 September 1999_

_Dear Hermione,_

_Ms. Brown had the distressing habit of being the type of girl who felt that since she had knowledge others did not, and in her case it was all vacuous, she should act as though she was benevolent in passing said knowledge. Your roommate indeed sounds like Ms. Brown. _

_However, this brings to mind something that has been on my mind and admittedly has kept me from sleeping some nights. Now that you are away from Hogwarts, away from the memories of the war; away from the friends you've known for seven years; away from me, you will discover that you committed to a man who is not only 20 years older than you, but is not nearly as handsome and untroubled as the men you'll meet at university. _

_Because you have no physical sign of your attachment to me, does your roommate feel that you are free to forget it? Are you finding that perhaps with no other romantic experience, physically or emotionally other than with me, you desire to experience this now?_

_If that is the case and if this is what you wish, then please enlighten me. I will not be played for a fool, Hermione. _

_Severus_

_23 September 1999_

_Dearest Severus,_

_Where in my letter did you read that I had danced, dated, or became intimate with any of the men that my roommate tried to hook me up with? Although there are many young men here at GI who are good looking and intelligent, they are not you. _

_I see these young men attempting to chat up a girl and it is so funny to watch. They fumble and grope; I wish had your quietly composed self nearby to put these idiots to shame. For example, when you whisper in my ear to tell me something private when we are in public, or to tell me just how you love to me, your lips barely move and if not for the breath across my ear, one would never know you had spoken. You then lick the outer shell of my ear with such slow purpose I shiver in anticipation. I have watched these bumbling idiots attempt to do the same, but they practically scream into the girl's ear, and I doubt there should be that much liquid involved in the tonguing. _

_Oh sure, these blokes are smart and I have talked with a few during study sessions, but they speak without thought, rehashing what they've read (a dreadful habit that I am very thankful you've helped break me of). You know me well enough to know exactly what to say to get me to think beyond the black and white in a book. Who else would argue with me about Shakespeare and poets so long dead that they don't even make into an English Poetry class? _

_When you asked me to allow you to court me, I understood it would be exclusively. I do not take my commitments lightly be they to my studies, my friendships, and my love. _

_Please put your mind to rest. I am yours, Severus, heart and soul. Never doubt that._

_Always yours,_

_Hermione_

25 September_ 1999_

_Dearest One,_

_Please forgive me; I have been an idiot and let my emotions run away from me in responding to your last letter. I know that you love me, but the idea that any other man could possibly occupy your time makes my blood boil._

_When will we see each other again? I miss your warm body in my bed and your crazy hair all over my face in the mornings. I could go on listing everything I miss about you, but it would not change the fact that you are not here with me sweet girl. _

_Yours always_

_Severus_

_2 October 1999_

_My Dearest Severus,_

_I have returned to my dorm room after a wonderful weekend away, spent with you at Hogwarts. To do nothing was such a treat, and to do it with you even more so._

_I was thinking about our discussion regarding your participation in the war. I don't know why I didn't ask you this while we talked, but perhaps it is better that I ask you now so that you have time to think of your answer without being on the spot, so to speak. Why didn't you return to the post of Headmaster? Was it not offered to you? I would understand your not wanting I; that year was hell on you. Also, why did you choose potions over DADA? You always wanted DADA._

_My roommate has just bounced in wanting every detail of my weekend away with my mystery lover. She will not get one iota of what I have done other than I had an extremely pleasant time. And you are not a mystery at all. Perhaps she missed the issue of _The Prophet_ that had our faces splashed all over the front at after our trip to Diagon Alley in mid August? Dunderheads, the lot of them, as you would say._

_She did have one interesting bit of news to impart. There is to be a Yule Ball here at Glasgow Institute. It will be December 22nd. Would you care to accompany me? I know that Hogwarts will be on break by then. Please let me know soon so I can make arrangements for your stay. I am told the local hotels book quickly when the school has a big event such as this._

_I do have one other question for you (surprise!). I believe I am comfortable enough now with the Glasgow area that I would like to look for a small flat. With the money I received as part of my Order of Merlin award, I can easily afford something. Would you like to look for flats with me, or do you trust me enough to find something suitable?_

_I must do some revising now and get ready for the week ahead. Please know that I think of you often, my great dungeon bat._

_All my love_

_Hermione._

_15 October 1999_

_My Dearest One,_

_I am only now just responding to your letter of early October and which referred to the reasoning behind my not returning to Hogwarts as Headmaster. My response to you has been greatly delayed as you have forced me to think of things I would have rather left un-thought, but alas you, my brave Little Gryffindor, have a way of forcing me to deal with things that serve only to make me miserable. What is it about you that I cannot refuse you? _

_You are correct in your assumption that my year as Headmaster under the incredibly watchful eyes of the Carrows and the Dark Lord was an unmitigated failure. When I look back at that year, I am ashamed of myself. I tried Hermione, I really did try to protect the students as best as I could but Miss Weasley, Miss Lovegood and Mr. Longbottom did their level best to make it hard for me to lead as they were under the impression I was a Deatheater, which, as you know, was as it was meant to be at that time. It was my sworn duty as Headmaster to protect the students, and each time I had to punish them was another rip in my soul. To offset my overwhelming guilt, I tried to give them detentions with Hagrid as much as I could, but the Carrows loved giving them to Filch, who was in his element as they gave him free reign with the punishments. _

_I could not sleep at night. I could not eat. The Dark Lord called me at odd hours to convey his displeasure that the three of you were not caught yet. Dumbledore's portrait nagged me continually to help you find the Horcruxes without revealing myself in the process. I am still haunted by the memories of that year in my dreams, but they are not as overwhelming as they used to be. I still can't look Longbottom in the eyes, and I have to see him every day now that he is Sprout's apprentice, and it angers me that I can't be man enough to forgive myself when he has forgiven me._

_The post of Headmaster is in the very best hands now, and I honestly do not think that it will ever be offered to me again, at least not while the memories of what I did as Headmaster are still so fresh in the minds of those that would offer that post. I am not unhappy about this, love; the memories are still too fresh for me, and only time can heal those wounds, and I am not sure I ever want the post again._

_As for the reason I chose Potions over DADA; you know from my history that I yearned to teach DADA. I wanted to teach the students how to protect themselves from the coming storm. I knew that the Dark Lord's first fall would only be temporary, and if I could teach DADA then I could use it as some kind of self-imposed penance. However, Dumbledore only trusted me so far, and he told me that teaching DADA was out of the question and so I taught potions. When the war was over and Minerva offered me the post of DADA, I was surprised by my reaction. After giving it some thought I declined the post and returned to Potions. I do love brewing very much. Potions offer me an escape from teaching and this may come as a surprise my love, I hate teaching! I would love nothing more than to buy a shop in Hogsmeade, open it with a gorgeous witch I am rather attached to, and live a simple life at her side selling potions to the masses and doing research on the side._

_Do you think your new friends are ready for me? I say that in answer to your summons to the ball my sweet Princess. I would very much like to attend the ball with you. I will make arrangements for us to stay at Blythswood Square. My beautiful Princess deserves to be kept like royalty if she is attending the ball, and this is the only hotel with suites fine enough for you, my dear. Please let me know what colour your gown will be so that I may ensure that my attire is suitably matched._

_I will also be glad to help you in your search for a flat. As I am to be spending time in said flat, I would like to have some say in its selection. I will also be willing to assist you in paying the rent so that we can get what we want, not what we have to settle for because you only have so much money._

_I miss you very much Hermione. The idea that you want me and love me as well is overwhelming at times; it makes me begin to doubt that this is all reality. Please bear with me Hermione, you know how easily my self-esteem can be damaged. I know that you love me, but at times the distance between us makes me unsure. I want to be with you all the time, but alas my job and your schooling prevents this right now. I must learn more patience! Yes, me, the one who waited for my little know-it -all for so long needs more patience!_

_Yours always_

_Severus_

_17 October 1999_

_Dearest Severus,_

_Thank you for your honesty in answering my question about the post of headmaster and your choice of potions over DADA. I would, if I could, go back in time and change everything so that you would not have to bear the memories. Alas, changing the past would alter the future, and I would not have my dear Severus with me now. Know only that I would take away your memories if you asked me. I hold you in my heart and grieve as you grieve._

_I am preparing to revise for my end of term exams. Once the Yule Ball is over, I will be free until the middle of January. That gives us plenty of time to find a flat. And yes, I would welcome help paying for it. The extra money will pay for any furniture we will need. I normally stay at _The Burrow_ for the Christmas holidays, but may I stay with you at Spinner's End instead so we can plan our appointments to look at any? I would find it most pleasing to spend Christmas solely with you; our first official Christmas as a couple. _

_I have purchased a new gown for the ball. It is champagne-coloured satin. At times it appears darker depending on how the light hits it, so I suppose you could opt to wear something that matches or a shade darker, given your propensity toward dark colours. You didn't have to rent rooms at Blythswood Square. There are several nice bed and breakfasts near the campus, although the idea of being treated like a true princess does have merit. I will have to find a way to thank my Prince Charming._

_Oh, thank you for helping me with my potions difficulty mentioned in my letter of 12 October. Once I changed the proportion of dove liver, it came together quite quickly!_

_I miss you so, Severus; please come see me at the weekend. I know you do not have patrols._

_All my love_

_Hermione _

"How was the ball, Gran?"

"It was everything I hoped it would be," Hermione states whilst staring wistfully into the distance. "My roommate and several of my other girlfriends fell in love with Severus. He looked so handsome at the ball, the epitome of Edward Rochester, and his voice….well you've know your grandfather's voice. It is quite mesmerizing."

Glennis giggled with Hermione. "That it is. I don't think any of us children ever got out of line when he spoke! How was the rest of the holiday?"

"Well, the Weasleys were disappointed I wouldn't stay with them, but for your great granddad and I, it was perfect! We stayed at Spinner's End, and he even let me put a small tree in his sitting room. We exchanged gifts on Christmas morning and then made dinner together. On Boxing Day, we went to Hogwarts to eat with the staff and exchange a few small gifts there. The rest of the holiday was spent looking for flats, and we found one we both liked not far from GI. We had fun and a few small arguments decorating it, but it was a haven for us and to leave it when we married was a hard thing to do."

"Are there any more important letters from the time you were at Uni?"

"Not really. We spent the next three years, writing and visiting and growing more and more comfortable with each other. We took trips together during the summers…" Hermione stopped and chuckled.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking about what transpired in order to get your great grandfather to finally propose," Hermione smiled fondly. "We knew we would marry one day; we had even talked about what we wanted from a marriage partner. I was hoping he would ask before I graduated; after all we had been courting for three years! As you know, I completed my course of study a year earlier than usual."

"Yes, you were quite the swot, weren't you?"

Hermione smacked Glennis lightly in the arm. "Stop! I was thinking he would ask me in a very romantic way. He was not known for his romanticism in general, but for me, he would do small things…..a gift when I wasn't expecting it; little things like that. That weekend we spent together in October during my first semester at Uni was when he asked me never to cut my hair. He loved to stroke it and run his fingers through it even though it was once of his greatest pet peeves while I was a student. He was forever reprimanding me for hairs in my potions! But he really did love it, and therefore asked me to never cut it.

"I began to pleat it to keep it controlled as it got longer and he would take to tugging it. When I asked him why, he said it was just his way of letting me know he was aware of me. Later it became his way of saying 'I love you' when he wasn't able to say it out loud. But, I never would have expected that his proposal would come as a result of a fight that had earlier caused us to break up!"

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><p><strong>Your reviews have meant the world to me and I thank you so much. They are what inspire me to continue writing even when I might not feel totally up to it!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**I am so sorry for the wait for this chapter. Between my brit picker and I, it's been a rough couple of weeks. If there weren't an ocean between us, I am sure we'd have done several pub crawls together!**

**I hope this chapter makes up for the wait!**

**I do not own Harry Potter, JKR does.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

I Will Discuss This With You No Further

_Last Time: _

"But, I never would have expected that his proposal would come as a result of a fight that had earlier caused us to break up!"

_And now:_

"What?" Glennis spluttered.

"Well, you know your granddad was very possessive and easily angered. It was the weekend of his birthday in 2003; we had planned to spend the weekend together celebrating. On the Friday night he was expected at the flat, I had an unexpected visit from a young man who seemed hell bent on getting me to date him. To this day I will never understand why he thought it was a good idea to pursue me. He had seen Severus and I together at several events and balls; I had even introduced the two of them. It was obvious to my peers at University that I was head over heels for Severus.

"What happened?"

Hermione dug through the envelopes from her days at Uni. "It wasn't pretty," she replied glumly.

_10 January 2003_

_Miss Granger,_

_I must say that even after all this time you can still surprise me. When I arrived at what I thought was OUR flat, the one that I am helping to pay for, I was stunned to say the least that you were entertaining a gentleman. I was under the impression that WE were going to celebrate MY birthday yesterday evening, but instead I find you with another man. You actually expected me to believe that story that he had just arrived moments earlier when you looked so very guilty?_

_I will not be treated this way by your or any another woman. If you wish to entertain others in what will now be your flat, as I am no longer going to assist with the rent, then please feel to do so._

_Severus T. Snape, MaP_

_11 January 2003_

_Severus,_

_If you had given me a chance to explain, I would have been able to inform you that Benjamin showed up at the flat without my knowledge beforehand. Think logically, love; why would I arrange for him to be at the flat at the same time as you if I was up to anything distrustful? The only reason he even knows where I live is because, as I have told you previously, I allowed him and several of my other friends to come for revision sessions since the campus library and common rooms are too noisy._

_I had no idea he would appear that Friday, nor that he would attempt to seduce me either. Surely by now you have a bit more faith in our relationship and are not so insecure that you think I would allow him to do so? I have told Benjamin on several occasions that I am in a long term, **committed** relationship but he persists._

_Please, Severus, come to our home so we can discuss this. I think you're being silly to not see the facts for what they are._

_Yours_

_Hermione_

_12 January 2003 _

_Miss Granger,_

_Surely that young man would not have attempted to seduce you had he not had any encouragement. I assure you; men do not risk wounding their pride by running after a woman unless they think they stand a very good chance of getting somewhere. _

_As for your accusations that I am 'insecure' in our relationship, the silly incident on my birthday does not mean I am insecure; rather, it just proves that I am right. You obviously do not feel that I am the one for you, and you are using our geographical locations to your advantage._

_I will send you enough money to cover the rent for your flat until the end of term; after that you are on your own._

_I will discuss this no further with you._

_Professor Severus T. Snape, MaP_

_13 January 2003_

_Professor Snape,_

_I have never in my life been more insulted than to receive the money you sent me. It made me feel as though I was a mistress and you were paying my keep. Keep your damned money._

_I am hurt beyond belief that you would think so little of me; that you would believe I would encourage any man when I was in a committed relationship with you. I have told you time and again; I favour none other than you._

_Regardless of whether or not you think that we should not discuss this logically and like adults, I think we do. I will come to Hogwarts if need be. _

_Hermione Granger_

_2 February 2003_

_Miss Granger,_

_Your presence at Hogwarts served no purpose other than to confirm that I have made the correct decision concerning our relationship. That you would storm in here in all your indignation and anger when you are the one who is in the wrong was preposterous. I have taught for far too many years to be taken in by crocodile tears and untrue declarations of innocence. _

_Our current situation has made it painfully obvious to me that you are not the mature young woman I thought I knew, nor can I trust you to remain exclusive in a relationship._

_I believe that it is in our best interests to terminate our affections. Your place of residence and financial situation is no longer of any concern to me; I am sure the landlord can rent it out again shortly, or perhaps Benjamin can assist you from now on. _

_I will be at your residence this Saturday to retrieve any personal effects of mine. I will arrive at 1.00 p.m. sharp; please do not be there. I will leave my key on the table before I leave and have the manager lock up for you._

_Do not attempt to contact me about this; my decision is final._

_Professor Severus T. Snape, MaP_

Glennis gaped, "Wow, Gran, I can hardly believe those cold words came from my great granddad!"

Hermione folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. Stacking it with the other letters from her University days, she wrapped them back in the blue ribbon. "I was devastated. Those words were from the Professor Snape I knew before the war, not my Severus. I was literally sick for days. Aunt Ginny came to stay with me trying to coax me out of bed, and even Poe took to pecking at me when I wouldn't get up. When I did, I would wander around the flat looking at all the empty spots where his things had been. Granted there hadn't been many things, but enough that I missed them when they were gone. Rumour had it that the students of Hogwarts were not unaffected either. Every house lost points and all were even in negative numbers."

"Why wouldn't he listen, Gran? If he loved you, why was it so difficult for him to believe in you?"

Hermione stood to retrieve the teapot. "Glennis, think about it. You've read books about the war and your granddad's devotion to Lily Potter. In his mind, seeing me with another man in my flat was no different than seeing Lily with James when he thought Lily was his. He felt that if _he_ broke off our agreement then perhaps he could have some control over the situation and over his feelings. I think he thought it would hurt less that way," Hermione said with a sad smile as she looked down at Glennis

"Well, obviously you made up," Glennis gestured to herself with a giggle, highlighting that her existence was proof of a happy ending. "How did that happen?" Glennis stood as well and together they walked to the kitchen to make more tea.

"Minerva McGonagall...I swear that woman apprenticed in meddling under Albus Dumbledore!" Hermione chuckled softly with a shake of her head as she began preparing the tea.

"She knew of our break up and was at her wits end trying to placate the students and their parents over Severus' tirades. Never had she seen so many owls bearing tidings of fury since Remus Lupin was outed as a werewolf in my third year. She invited me to tea one afternoon under the pretence of discussing my plans for the future and what I would be doing immediately after graduating from Glasgow Institute. When I arrived, she proceeded to escort me to her office; Severus was already there, unbeknownst to me. With a hearty shove, I was forced into her office, the door slammed shut, and then she warded it so that even Severus could not break the wards. The floo connection had been closed and as you know, apparition was not possible there; you remember me telling you about how apparition isn't possible in Hogwarts as stated in-"

"_Hogwarts: A History;_ yes, you may have mentioned it once or twice Gran," Glennis interrupted with a fond smile and an eye roll.

"Oh, of course dear; well, anyway where was I?" Hermione mumbled absentmindedly as she stirred the tea. "Oh, that's right; Minerva had locked us away together. She hollered through the door that we would not be allowed to leave until we discussed what had happened and came to some sort of mutual decision."

"How long did that take?" Glennis asked with a familiar eyebrow raise as she took the teapot from Hermione and walked back to the sitting room. Hermione followed with a fresh plate of biscuits.

"Hours. The first hour or so was spent trying in vain to find a way out of the room and each others' company. Then we passed some time by steadfastly ignoring one another. I never realized just how much person could or could not say by huffing every 20 minutes. We read what books Minerva had in her office in an attempt to ignore each other. The only time Severus said anything was to order tea, which he did _not_ share!" The pair laughed as they pictured Severus snidely sipping tea without offering Hermione any.

"Finally, after about three hours I gave up and asked him what the hell his problem was. That was probably not the best thing to say as he reacted by delivering a rage-fuelled lecture, but we were finally speaking; well, more like we were yelling first then speaking. He threw the most atrocious accusations at me; I accused him of using Lily as an excuse for everything; for avoiding facing his emotions, for causing his deep-seated fear of rejection, and for him not being able to understand that he was capable of being loved for always. That too did not go over well, but I scored a very palpable hit. After hours of fighting, I was crying and I begged him to use legilimency on me to see that I was speaking the truth all along. At first, he vehemently refused and argued that I shouldn't put him in a position where it would be necessary. He finally gave in and did so."

"What was his reaction?"

"He was mortified to discover that I had never lied to him. When he pulled out of my memories, I could see in his eyes that he was sorry he didn't believe me; the anguish I saw in them stunned me. There was a kind of tired resignation about him; as if he thought I would never forgive him. I had already forgiven him before he spoke a word, not that I let him know that. We then talked a great deal about trust and how to fix what had happened between us. We talked about insecurities past and present and how we could attempt to move past them.

"By breakfast time he finally kissed me and it was heaven; even better than all the times we'd kissed before. It was as if the emotions we had kept in our hearts were finally free to come forth. I was left breathless by the knowledge that I couldn't function without him."

"Then what happened?"

"Severus decided that we needed some fresh air, so he sent his patronus to Minerva and she let the wards down. We decided to walk out to the lake. The morning was beautiful; the sun only partially risen; it was cool and there was mist on the lake. It was quite breathtaking, actually. Severus folded me into his cloak to keep me warm. After a few minutes of silence, I heard him clear his throat nervously, and then he spoke of his feelings for me and how he could not bear to be without me. I thought he was just attempting to reassure me that everything was going to be okay, but then he asked me to marry him!"

"It sounds perfect!" Glennis smiled.

"It was, it was absolutely perfect," Hermione smiled. "Too bad the wedding planning wasn't perfect."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you all for your lovely and encouraging reviews. Thank you my new daughter, too (you know who you are!); you help me bring out my characters and shape them like I want to, but can't find the right emotion or word to. Thank you to my sister, who I can yell out when her ideas sound dorky, but can also help guide me in the direction I want to go!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**I have actually been to Texas and John O'Groats. Went to John O'Groats on my honeymoon so I paid homage to the little village as I sent our couple teettering off on their own adventure. **

** If I had to to choose which to visit again? I'd need a passport...just saying. **

**JK Rowling is the creator and owner of Harry Potter and gang...we just get to play with it!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 <strong>

**Fiji, Texas, or John O'Groats**

_15 September 2003_

_Dearest Severus,_

_I am going spare. Ginny, Molly, and my mother are at each others throats trying to decide on what the colour scheme should be on everything from the flowers on the table at the reception to the napkins; the list goes on and on. Did we not agree on 'simple'? What part of this seems simple? I hate my dress robes, I hate the colour of your dress robes (I like green just not that colour green; it looks like something you'd find in a nappy). ACK! Shouldn't I, of all people, approve of my wedding outfit or for that matter, yours?_

_Severus, I just want to be bound to you for life. Why can't it be as simple as that?_

_We really must decide where to go on our honeymoon. While the thought of going somewhere intriguing and exotic is delightful, what I would find even more delightful is just hiding away with you at Spinner's End for two weeks. Now that we have it renovated, it makes a lovely retreat. What do you say? We can continue to keep the location of our honeymoon a secret; our friends won't know if we've gone to Fiji or Texas or John O'Groats._

_I am glad Minerva will let me have time off from my apprenticeship for the honeymoon. When we get back, we can settle down and work. I am so busy right now learning how to teach and trying to finish my final project for my apprenticeship, I've hardly seen you._

_Please love, can we go for a walk or something for a few hours alone? I need you to clear the anxiety in my head as you know how to do so well._

_Yours anxiously,_

_Hermione_

_15 September 2003_

_Pet,_

_Yes, we did agree on simple. The idea that Molly and Ginevra have taken over your wedding from your mother and you is appalling to me, but I am not so sure that my solution will satisfy you either; or am I wrong in the assumption that every woman has dreamt of her wedding day since she was a young girl? Have the red headed wedding planners (and your mother) gone amiss of your dream?_

_As to your idea for our honeymoon, I find the idea of hiding with you at our home in Spinner's End perfectly satisfactory. We will be secluded enough to be well and truly alone, yet close to everything we could want or need. _

_I will stop by your office after classes tonight to take you for a stroll around the Black Lake and watch the sunset together. We can discuss my idea for a simple answer to your wedding issues._

_All my love_

_Severus_

_15 September 2003_

_Severus,_

_You wicked, wicked man! I love it. I'll meet you outside the gates at 10 a.m. on the 21st._

_All my love_

_Hermione_

Glennis clattered down her teacup in surprise as she realized what that letter meant. "But I always thought you and Granddad married at Hogwarts?"

"Severus and I apparated to Gretna Green on the 21st of September. That it was the 21st of September did not escape us; after all, that was the date of the very first letter Severus ever sent me.

Afterward, we confessed to Minerva what we had done so that we could take our honeymoon. Minerva was thrilled with our dastardly deed and refused to divulge where we were to anyone, especially my mother, Mrs. Weasley and Ginny. When they read the article in The Prophet, they were furious!"

"Do you have the article, Gran?"

"Somewhere here," Hermione riffled through the box. "Yes, here it is!"

_**War Hero And Heroine In Surprise Wedding!**_

The Prophet_ has learnt that Severus Snape (43) and Hermione Granger (24) were married yesterday at Gretna Green. Sources say that Mrs. Snape wore a simple cream coloured robe and Mr. Snape wore black dress robes. Mrs. Snape is currently completing an apprenticeship in Transfiguration at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where her new husband, Mr. Snape is currently Professor of Potions. The couple have not been seen in public as of yet and owls sent to the couple have been returned unanswered. We are curious as to reasoning behind the hasty nuptials considering they had planned an extravagant wedding later in the month__ at Hogwarts. Perhaps there'll be a young Snape sooner rather than later? _The Prophet_ will update readers as soon as information is known!_

"All right Gran, but what was all the fuss about regarding your tattoos?"

"There is a legend that says that when soulmates are bound, a special tattoo appears on their wrists as they are declared man and wife. While your granddad and I felt a profoundly deep love for each other and a true kinship, we didn't feel as though we were soulmates. It was quite a surprise when the officiator at Gretna Green finished the ceremony, and there was a blinding white light encompassing our wrists. When it faded, we each had these tattoos marking our wrists." Hermione turned her wrist over to show Glennis the lion and snake entwined around each other, their foreheads touching. It was still as bright as it was when it appeared 88 years ago.

"I am surprised they didn't come out in your house colours," Glennis laughed.

"I know! Your granddad would have had a fit if he had to wear a red and gold tattoo," Hermione giggled with Glennis. "He tended to get shirty if anything showed up in the house that was Gryffindor. I had to have Varina hide anything she didn't want blasted into oblivion after she was sorted into Gryffindor."

"He never did let you get away with too much Gryffindor colour, did he?"

"Well, I learned to be subtle about it. Hints of the colours here and there, so discreet that he wouldn't notice. Our one true obvious display of house rivalry was at Christmas time. We had a tree, and I tended to decorate it with traditional Christmas colours of red and gold. Severus would surreptitiously change the colours to green and silver and when I'd notice, I'd change them back. He would then change them back and so on and so forth." Hermione smiled and giggled. "We never stopped doing it, and when the children came along, they joined in the rivalry as well only they changed the decorations to their own house colours. We would end up keeping tally to see whose house colours showed up the most!"

Glennis laughed as she reminisced about Christmas' at her great-grandparents' home. She had witnessed the friendly competition and had even taken part in it herself. She took a sip of her tea and then set the cup and saucer back on the coffee table. "Gran, what made you and granddad have your tattoos investigated, and what made you realize your true soulmate status?"

Hermione laughed at memories long tucked away in her mind. "Believe it or not, it was my setting the kitchen of Spinner's End on fire that got us thinking!"

"Excuse me? You're an excellent cook; how would you set the kitchen on fire?" Glennis asked disbelievingly.

"Thank you, but when I was first married, I couldn't cook at all!" Hermione sifted through the box of letters. "Here we go!"

_12 October 2003_

_Dearest Severus,_

_I can honestly say I am so very sorry for the fire I caused. I didn't know that the rashers would flame up so quickly! Thankfully, the Muggle fire brigade arrived quickly and put it out and fortunately, their noise kept them from hearing your crack of apparition! _

_I don't know why I never learned to cook; at Hogwarts the elves provide our meals, and when we are together on the weekends, we either dine out, have take away or you cook. Today I wanted to surprise you with dinner when you got home and well…._

_Severus, I need to ask you a question about something I've noticed since we were married. I actually began to notice it after we made love for the first time, but the fire really brought to the forefront of my mind something I had been wondering about for years. We seem to be in tune with one another's feelings. I mean, you were in Diagon Alley shopping, so how did you know I was in a panic? In class, I can sense when you are angry as I have a pain in my chest. It's not painful to the point of debilitating, but enough to make me rub my chest. There have been times, right before you ask me a question, I can hear you in my mind forming the question. And I can't even begin to describe the emotion I feel when we make love. _

_Have you had any experiences like this? Do you know what it might be? I have my suspicions but research on the matter is so limited that I don't quite know where to begin._

_Love_

_Hermione_

_14 October 2003_

_Dearest Hermione,_

_I am relieved that you were not injured in the fire at the house. Though the results were not optimal, the thought behind it is very much appreciated. I fail however, to see how you of all people have not mastered cooking; you seem to have mastered nearly everything else you have put your hand to._

_I have been giving your question about the sensations you are experiencing much consideration these last few days. I too, had noted the same sort of sensations, and for the same duration. I did not suspect any relation to soulmates because, having no experience with love (beyond my pubescent infatuation with Lily), I thought that what I was experiencing were the feelings that come along with love. _

_You are correct; there is not an abundance of reading available on matters such as this. Any readings I found seemed to contradict one another, and so I decided to speak with Albus' portrait. He seems to think that when we first engaged in a physical relationship, we invoked a magical bond in which two souls are bound together for eternity. Although this is not a common aspect of relationships in the modern Wizarding world, it is not exactly unheard of. _

_Albus seems to think that the reason for the lack of research on the matter is not due to a lack of subjects or passing of time, but rather the nature of the individual bonds. In his experience, every couple who shares a bond such as this experiences different sensations and markings. To try and research something which affects each couple so differently would be difficult enough, but when it is concerning something as private as their love, relationship, and sex life, it becomes an even more impossible task. There are, however, a few aspects which seem to be present for all couples experiencing a bond, and Albus was of some help in highlighting those. He tells me that we will continue to be able to sense each other in the manner we have begun to do so, and that over time our magic will recognize each other giving us the ability to harness one another's magic in times of great stress. He also told me that our bonding tattoos are extremely rare. Although each bonded couple's markings are unique, they are normally a simple Celt symbol of such things as; love, fertility, trust, family, happiness, etc; whereas ours are related to our house affiliation, hence the lion and snake. Albus was unsure of what the reasoning behind this could be,but he seemed to think it was perhaps something to do with our coming together despite our differences. _

_I hope that this information is what you are seeking and puts your mind at ease._

_Yours_

_Severus_

_26 October 2003_

_Dear Severus,_

_I found a letter on your desk from the Ministry today; please forgive me but I read it. What on earth could the ministry want with you now, and why are they questioning our tattoos? Surely they don't suspect dark magic?_

_Love _

_Hermione_

_26 October 2003_

_My Love,_

_I would not worry about the Ministry's enquiry. When you consider the past 20 plus years under the threat of Voldemort, does it not surprise you that when a new tattoo arises that they would be more proactive in their investigations? Especially a new tattoo on _me? _Come now, even you realize there are those in the ministry who do not believe my role in the Vold War was as altruistic as The-Boy-Who-Lived-To- Relegate-Me-To-Saithood would have them believe?_

_All my love,_

_Severus_

_7 November 2003_

_Severus,_

_I am furious beyond belief. Those cows at the Ministry dare call your character into question. That they would take something as innocent as a bonding tattoo and pervert it into something as evil as they were certain it was, is reprehensible. I shall surely be talking to Kingsley Shacklebolt on Monday morning about a thorough review of the qualifications of the employees who questioned you. _

_Honestly, if I hadn't been for Albus' portrait and Harry testifying on your behalf, I would have choked each and every member of the enquiry personally. _

_The effrontery! I believe a trip to the Room of Requirement for a good work out session is in the works for me this evening before I take out my anger on some poor first year's essay!_

_All my love_

_Hermione_

_8 November 2003_

_Love, your indignation on my behalf warms my heart. However, before you get your lovely self tossed into Azkaban for bodily injury to others, please rethink your desire to strangle the enquiry board. Please do not bother Kingsley either; let's just let this fade away now that it's over._

_While Albus and Mr. Potter were helpful in my defense, it was Healer Smythewick's examination of the tattoo that put the stamp of innocence on the whole matter. Because of his timely and public examination and the evidence he presented, we are again free of the ministry's interference. _

_To show my appreciation for Mr. Smythewick's expertise, I shall be providing all of the potions for venomous wound bites to St. Mungo's free for the remainder of my life. _

_The weekend will be here tomorrow; we can have a little celebration at home, away from the prying eyes of the staff. I look forward to it!_

_Love_

_Severus_

_January 9, 2004 _

_Dear Hermione,_

_Thank you for my birthday present; I've never heard of nor had breakfast in bed. It was quite pleasant. The first edition of _Flora and Fauna and Their Uses in Potions_ you gave me was stunning. Where ever did you find it? _

_Prior to your incessant pestering into my business, the anniversary of my birth was not always a joyful reminder of my life, but a reminder of the mess I had made of it. With your presence in my life, well for the last six years anyway, I find the anniversary of my birth most joyful indeed. _

_I have been thinking; however, that this year might mark a change for me and as a result, a change for you. You know that I have wanted to open my own apothecary and be my own man, as it were. I have been given an opportunity to buy the apothecary in Hogsmeade. As you know, it is adequate to supply the needs of the village and of course, the school. However, I can envision it doing so much more. I would like to do this, Hermione. _

_I believe in order to do so, you would need to teach to provide us a steady income while we get the shop up and running to a fuller potential. We would be taking over an established clientele, but the Snape name may drive customers away. _

_What do you think, love? I will need to tell Minerva of my intentions very soon so that she can begin looking for replacements. Please take some time to think and let me know how you feel._

_Love_

_Severus_

_12 January 2004_

_Dearest Severus,_

_Today was a Hogsmeade weekend and while you were relaxing in our rooms, I had to chaperone the hormone driven little buggers to Hogsmeade in the freezing cold. You owe me big time!_

_While I was there though, I went to the apothecary and looked around. I spoke with Mr. Aldingbourne, who of course knew who I was, and was freely discussing his offer to you. As he spoke, I began to think about what changes we could make and what potions we could expand or introduce. I was quite excited by the time I left. _

_I realize that while it might be easy for us to own and work in the shop, it will be a very emotional change for you. You have taught for well over 20 years and Hogwarts has been your home for longer than that. Certainly Minerva will allow you to stay at Hogwarts with me, but I know that the shop contains a little flat over it, and I wondered if we should make our home there during the school year and return to Spinner's End during holidays. Would this be helpful in your transition from teacher to shop owner? I have no problem with staying on teaching; you know that it has always been a dream of mine. It would be prudent for us to have the steady income._

_Yes, Severus, I am amenable to your buying the shop. It may take us a while to get used to your being called Mr. Snape instead of Professor Snape!_

_All my love_

_Hermione_

**Daily Prophet Announcements**

Headmistress Minerva McGonagall announced today that Severus Snape, long time Potions Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, will resign at the end of the current school year.

Mr. Snape is renowned for his role as spy during the recent Vold Wars. His duplicitous role was instrumental in helping Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Saved-Us-All, defeat the most evil wizard our world has ever known.

In a brief interview, Mr. Snape declared that he and his wife, Hermione Snape, have recently bought the Hogsmeade Apothecary and will continue to operate it as it has been while under the ownership of Mr. Aldingbourne, who plans a quiet retirement in the South Seas.

_27 June 2004_

_Dear Severus,_

_It is finally over! Your very last Hogwarts' graduation ceremony. Next month we will open our apothecary and your dream will come true. It will be lovely spending this summer with you running the shop and being together._

_For myself, I can hardly believe that I am finished with my apprenticeship and am a full professor of Transfiguration as of September next. Minerva wants me to be Head of Gryffindor, but I don't think I want to; it would mean I would have to stay at the castle even on weekends, and I don't relish that. I think the way we have worked it out will be just fine; me spending the weeknights at the castle and then Friday through Sunday with you._

_Just when Hogwarts thought it was rid of a Professor Snape….._

_All my love,_

_Hermione_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Just as I paid homage to John O'Groats, I paid homage to my parents in this last letter. They would have celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary on 27 June 2004.<br>_**

_**Our couple is happily married and will soon experience the pitter patter of little feet. But as we all know, life throws us curve balls and the Snapes will be no different.**  
><em>


	9. Chapter 9

_**I am sorry about the wait between chapters. My beautiful britpicker and I shared transatlantic colds and other real life problems in the last two weeks. We both seem to be on the mend now. We'll be working on her next chapter as soon as she finishes a university assignment (hop to, my girl!) and then back to my next chapter.**_

_**Thank you for all your kind reviews. My muse loves them; part of my problem in the last two weeks is that it seems she went on vacation (without me, the wench). I've had a stern talking to her though, and she promised to get back into the writing mode.**_

_**Thank you to my twinsy twiper, who had first crack at this and again, to my britpicker, who gives this even more life.**_

_**JK Rowling is the lucky woman who owns this, but is also lovely enough to allow us to play with them.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 9 <strong>_

_**Days of Sunshine**_

Poe was a rather clever bird, as birds go, and he was sure that something extremely significant was going on with his master and mistress. He was constantly winging his way back and forth between the castle and the modest shop in Hogsmeade, delivering letter upon letter. Each delivery he made was merely acknowledged with a secretive smile and a hastily scribbled response instead of the usual treat and attention. Yes, there was certainly something occurring, and Poe was positive that it was a major development.

_27 March 2005_

_Dearest Severus,_

_Stop it! You're scaring the clientele away! Anyone would think you've over indulged in a happiness potion instead of just having received the news you're to be a father._

_A child, Severus, we are having a child! I am transported with joy. I will never forget your face when I placed your hand upon my abdomen and told you. You were both stunned and awed at the same time._

_I've been indulging in silly little daydreams of black eyed, black haired girls with pigtails and little curly headed boys. Of course they'll be brilliant; Gryffindors for sure!_

_I do hope we have a boy though. It would be an honour to give you a son to carry on the Snape name, but I know you'll cherish either a son or daughter._

_What shall we name him or her? Is there some wizard tradition that compels us to name the child something that sounds like a cat yakkings and is multisyllabic? I admit I wouldn't mind naming the child after you, but I wouldn't like a feminine version of Severus._

_I have told Minerva our news. She is ecstatic and hopes to be an honorary grandmum. We have discussed my leave and it will start 2 weeks before my due date of 20 December and end in mid-January. I will have the Christmas hols off, and return only missing a few weeks of the new term. There is so much to plan, but we have some time._

_I am tired now dearest and will lie down for a while before dinner. I look forward to being with you at the weekend. Shall we have a little party to announce our news to our friends?_

_All my love,_

_Hermione_

_27 Mar 2005_

_My Pet,_

_After __you have given t__he news that I am going to be a father, I couldn't care less if the entire wizarding world was dying of an epidemic, I will act as I see fit and if the clientele don't like it, they can go to Knockturn Alley and buy their potions at extortionist prices._

_Stunned and awed does not even begin to cover it Hermione. That you consented to be my wife is one thing, but to know that I have fathered a child is something I never let myself even dream about. My only requirement is that the child is healthy and does NOT have my nose. It can have hair just as crazy as yours, and I will still love it all the same. _

_I take exception to your comment about the Wizard tradition of giving children names that sound like a cat "yakkings" or are multisyllabic. Most wizarding names are old family names. Although, I am not sure where the Bilius came from in Ronald Weasley's name; poor sod having to carry that around. Though the same could be said about my mother when selecting my name which is rather unique; let us keep it that way. No son of mine will be named Severus (or James or Harry or Albus) and definitely not Tobias. A daughter, on the other hand, should be named for the beautiful woman who carried her. We've plenty of time for names, and NO, WE ARE NOT naming her for her honorary grandmum either._

_I wonder if we should consider moving from Spinner's End? It is rather small and works for us, but if I recall from having been at Godric's Hollow for the Potter girl's naming ceremony, there is quite a bit of flotsam that comes with having a child. I do not think that our current residence could accommodate all of that. What do you think? Are you sure that the time off you mentioned will be enough for you to heal and bond with the child? I worry about you, my Pet, please be good to yourself, and we will speak more on names, time off and possible relocation at the weekend._

_All my love_

_Severus_

_p.s. Any child of ours will, of course, be Slytherin._

_28 March 2005_

_Severus,_

_Tomorrow is the weekend and I shall be with you. I warn you….pregnancy hormones have struck!_

_I don't want to leave Spinner's End yet. We've worked so hard at making it a home and making new memories for you there. It has been a dream of mine to bring your first born there as well. Let's just see what happens. It is only one child and honestly, with a little bit of magic we will fit, baby paraphernalia and all. Now if we have other children in the future, THEN we may need to consider moving._

_I will ask Ginny what all is involved in the naming ceremony. Weren't you at Draco's ceremony as you are his godfather? May we ask Minerva to be godmother? Who would you choose as godfather? _

_Ronald's middle name is Arthur's brother's name. I shudder at the thought of carrying that name any further than it has gone. I like the alliteration of the 's' sound of your first and last names. I can think of some lovely names in that vein such as Stephen, Sandra, or Simon. I like your middle name and would like very much if we have a son to use it. We will not name any girl after me, nor use any other name from that particular Shakespeare play, thank you very much. Not only could my primary school chums not say it correctly, it took me months to learn to spell it and write the letters; 'there is no 'a' in Hermione' I remember hearing again and again from my teacher no matter how adamant I was that it should be spelled thusly. _

_The most unusual things have been happening since the news of our impending parenthood has reached Hogwarts. I am stopped daily, several times in fact, to ask how I am feeling, do I need to lie down, would I like something to snack on. I am often ambushed by Neville and Poppy in the early morning and by Minerva and several of the portraits in the afternoon. Most peculiarly to note is that Phineas Nigellus Black has been popping into the portrait of Caroline the Crumby that hangs in my office asking how I am feeling as well. If I am not mistaken, Severus love, Phineas seems to hang in your office at the apothecary as well…_

_Until tomorrow evening,_

_Hermione_

_30 March 2005_

_My Dear Hermione_

_I am not so sure that Spinner's End is the place to raise a child, but then I am going on my experience as a child, and perhaps I need to give it a chance. I just can't imagine all of our possessions fitting in there along with all the child's things, cots and such. You will have to show me how you plan to manage all the paraphernalia._

_I like the name Silas. I need to think about using Tobias for the middle name. Tobias was my father's name, and I do not have the best of memories about that man. Albus is out as well for a first or middle name, as I have previously stated, just so as you are aware._

_No one leaps to my mind for the godfather. I do not have the plethora of friends that you do, I did not engender friendships when I was younger as you well know, although with your guidance that is changing. If I had to chose, perhaps Arthur would be godfather to our child. He and Molly took care of me as much as I would let them in my Death Eater days, and he does have some experience with children. As well, he is a man of the finest caliber (despite his Muggle fascination) and would provide a fine example of a man who is truly good and honest, for our child. _

_As for Phineas—his cunning is beginning to fail. I only asked him to peek in at you to be sure you were not doing anything more than you should. I worry about you love; you must remember I watched you take on the Dark Lord and some of his minions as well as badger the Dynamic Dunderheads into complying with your wishes for seven years. You are hard-headed and determined my sweet love, and I know how you love to sink your teeth into everything at the expense of taking care of yourself. Please be careful—that is MY child in that gorgeous belly of yours._

_Until the evening, love _

_Severus_

_6 October 2005_

_My Dear Deranged Hermione,_

_I am aware that in marriage you must accept the bad with the good and that I must honour and cherish you in times of sickness and in health, but must you make it so bloody difficult?. _

_I mean really? Again? Imagine my surprise when I opened the fridge to prepare myself a quick sandwich and found a jar full of pickles minus the juice. Of all the bizarre things you could have chosen to crave, you choose pickle juice? I suppose I should be relieved that the phase of covering pancakes in pickle juice has passed, but now it seems you are imbibing it as some kind of liquid refreshment. What is wrong with a nice cup of tea? _

_As I have already informed you, the pickles get all dried out and have to be thrown away, and you know how I feel about wasting food. I had thought we were past this little craving once you sent me out at 3 in the bloody morning on Saturday for fresh mackerel and pistachio ice cream (and yes, I am still clinging to the hope that you ate them separately and with a reasonable interval in between; although your breath when you came back to bed makes this a highly unlikely pipe dream)._

_I must admit, I am quite concerned as to what exactly you are harbouring in that bump of yours. Although, if it is half as attractive and wonderful as its beautiful mother, I will have no option but to fall profoundly in love with it, bizarre eating habits and all. _

_Although the pair of you can think again if you expect me to make any more 3 a.m. apparation trips to the nearest 24 hour Asda._

_Severus (Reflexologist, Personal Shopper and long suffering husband of a beautiful yet increasingly deranged woman)_

_16 November 2005_

_Dearest Severus,_

_I am so sorry I was a wretch this weekend. I treasure all your visits while I am teaching, but to be so sour was not right. _

_I feel like a beached hippo. I can't see my feet. My breasts feel like they've ballooned up to rest under my chin. The climb from the Great Hall after meals to my classroom on the 4th floor takes me half an hour I am so slow! Minerva has asked some of the students to act as aides to carry my books and other classroom material especially after I accidentally transfigured one of the suits of armor into a canary when I tried to levitate my books in front of me. And since my magic is so unpredictable, the older students are helping with Transfiguration demonstrations._

_I just want this pregnancy to be over soon. I know we still have four more weeks to go. Thankfully, I have only two more weeks until I begin my maternity leave. I will return to Spinner's End for the birth. Poppy said she would floo any time of day or night. _

_I think we have everything we need now. The staff held a little party for me last night. I received some lovely books and sleepers for the baby. Professor Trelawney offered to perform some sort of divination reading over my belly, but Hooch successfully distracted her with a fresh bottle of Sherry before she could do it. I shudder to think what horrible "prophecy" she might have come up with. _

_I only have a few more things to finish as far as preparing lessons for the supply teacher Minerva hired while I am gone; however, I do have marking I must finish now, so I will finish this up._

_I will be with you in two short weeks, love!_

_Love,_

_Hermione_

Glennis chuckled as Hermione finished the two letters. "Oh my, poor Granddad; having to apparate to find mackerels and pistachio ice cream. He must have been livid!"

Hermione smiled at the memory. "He was, but he was very good to me during all my pregnancies." Hermione scrounged in the box. "Here, these are the birth announcements, oh and the announcement of my resignation from Hogwarts."

**The Daily Prophet 2005 Birth Announcements:**

A son, Silas Tobias, to Severus and Hermione Snape of Spinner's End on 17 December at 2.48 a.m. Severus Snape is owner of Snape Apothecary in Hogsmeade, and Mrs. Snape is Professor of Transfiguration at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

**The Daily Prophet 24 June 2006**

The Prophet has learned that Hermione Snape has resigned her position as Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. She will assist her husband, Severus Snape, former Potion Master at Hogwarts, in their joint venture, Snape Apothecary, which is enjoying much success.

**The Daily Prophet 2007 Birth Announcements:**

A daughter, Varina Jean, to Severus and Hermione Snape of Spinner's End on 25 May at 4.37 pm. Mr. and Mrs. Snape co-own Snape Apothecary in Hogsmeade. They have a son, Silas, aged 1.

_16 June 2007_

_Dearest Severus,_

_You may think I was being very silly for standing outside Spinner's End and crying right before we apparated to our new home in Hogsmeade, but I was loath to leave; so many happy memories happened in that house for me. _

_I understand that you grew up in this house, and for you it was dark and filled with misery. But the two of us worked hard to bring light back to Spinner's End. We made love for the first time here; we spent our honeymoon here; both of our children were conceived here. Your firstborn son was brought home here (just as you were). We worked hard to renovate it and make it a true home. Can you see why I would cry?_

_No matter where we go and what we do, as long as we are together anywhere we live will be home for us, but Spinner's End was our first and will always hold a special place in my heart. So allow me a few tears, if you would._

_All my love_

_Hermione_

**The Daily Prophet 2009 Birth Announcements:**

_A son, Struan Severus, to Severus and Hermione Snape of Hogsmeade on 3 June at 11.35 a.m. Mr. and Mrs. Snape co-own Snape Apothecary in Hogsmeade. They have a son, Silas, aged 3 and daughter, Varina, aged 2._

Hermione was looking through the box for the next few letters she wanted to show Glennis, carefully avoiding a particular bundle, when Glennis interrupted her search. "Gran, are those letters wrapped in the black ribbon what I think they are?" Glennis carefully looked at her great-grandmother. Hermione resignedly lifted the small bundle from the box and held it out to her great granddaughter. On top was an announcement from the Daily Prophet.

_**The Daily Prophet 13 August 2013**_

The Daily Prophet_ was saddened to learn of the death of young Struan Snape of Hogsmeade in an accident on 12 August 2013. No details are available at this time, and we have been told the couple and their two children have gone into seclusion. The Snapes own Snape Apothecary in Hogsmeade, which will be closed until further notice._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 **

**Days of Shadow**

_Last time: _

_**Daily Prophet 13 August 2013**_

_The Daily Prophet was saddened to learn of the death of young Struan Snape of Hogsmeade in an accident on 12 August 2013. No details are available at this time, and we have been told the couple and their two children have gone into seclusion. The Snapes own Snape Apothecary in Hogsmeade, which will be closed until further notice._

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><p>Hermione pulled the packet back to her lap, stroking the withered newspaper announcement with her fingers. "These were written when Struan died." Hermione looked at the bundle for a long moment with pain in her face. "Oh, Lenni," Hermione blew out a breath. "I don't think I want to read them to you. They are very painful letters, and I haven't read them since they were written."<p>

"I understand, Gran." Glennis put her arm around Hermione and pulled her into a comforting embrace. "How did it happen? I was told he drowned."

Hermione rested her head on Lenni's shoulder and looked into the fire. Although it had been decades, tears still came to her eyes; perhaps because Severus had just died and her usual control on her emotions was fragile. With a deep sigh, she answered: "It was August of 2013. The UK and all of Europe was in the middle of a terrible heat wave. We were working in the apothecary, and Severus suggested I take the children to Hogwarts to swim in the Black Lake. They were fretful because of the heat and their fighting was becoming a bit much for him. He said he'd join us after he closed up the shop.

"We were there for about an hour; the kids were having a grand time swimming and playing when Varina decided she wanted to climb that big rock near the lake; you know which one?" Hermione asked.

"Oh yes," Glennis replied nodding her head. "It was the best rock to sunbathe on because it was flat at the top."

"That's right. I asked Silas to stay near the shore with Struan so I could help her up. Silas was eight and very responsible for his age. I often asked him to keep an eye on the younger children for a few moments at a time when I had to do things out of their sight. Just as I was getting Varina to the top, Severus' crack of apparition startled her and she fell. She was pretty scraped up so I asked Severus to heal her while I went to make sure the boys were all right. They were still playing on the shore just wading ankle deep. I reminded them to go no farther in and returned to help Severus. It was taking longer than we expected because you know how it is; scrapes produce more blood than the actual injury, and Varina was fearful of the blood. Silas saw us tending her, and he came to see what happened.

"When I noticed Silas was with us, but not Struan I got up to find him. He was nowhere in sight. I called for Severus to help look for him, placing a confinement charm on Silas and Varina so they wouldn't wander off." Clenching her fists in her lap, Hermione hissed through her teeth, "How I wished I had done so for Silas and Struan….."

Hermione sobbed quietly for a few moments. Regaining her composure, she continued, "It was so scary. We hollered for Struan, and then I heard Severus scream in agony. I looked at him and then followed his gaze. There in the middle of the lake was Struan, floating face down. Severus threw himself into the water and swam out.

"I sent my Patronus to Minerva and Poppy Pomfrey and splashed in after Severus. He had reached Struan and was pulling him back to shore. I waited, waist deep in water, for them. In the meantime, Hagrid had come down as he had heard the commotion; I begged him to take the other children back to his hut, and he immediately complied. Severus pulled Struan onto the shore and began to chant incantations. I even tried Muggle resuscitation. Poppy finally arrived and despite all of our efforts, Struan would not breathe and his heart would not beat. Poppy had to stun Severus to stop him from further spells and incantations. It was no use."

The women sat in the sofa quietly. Only the sound of the quiet susurration of Poe's feathers as he cleaned and settled them back into place and the soft crackle of the fire could be heard in the stillness. Taking a deep breath, Hermione continued.

"The next months were hell for us. I don't even remember the funeral, I was in such shock. It was very hard for your great granddad. Struan was his boy; the only one of our children that took after him. Silas and Varina, while pale skinned, had my facial features, hair and eye colour. But Struan was a tiny Severus right down to the nose. The other children enjoyed being with their dad in the lab, but Struan followed Severus around like a puppy, playing with a toy cauldron and old ingredients in a way the others didn't. He was as introverted and introspective as his father. Silas felt guilty because he was supposed to watch his brother, so between dealing with Silas's grief and my own, things were very hard on us.

"But the letters...no, I don't want you to see them. As you know, we eventually grieved and learned to live again. And we had Honor to help us heal." Hermione stood from the couch rubbing the backs of her hands together, a nervous habit she had not indulged in since her teen years. "Lenni, I think I'd like to be alone for a while if you don't mind. Could you come back tomorrow?"

"Of course, Gran." Giving Hermione a hug, she moved quietly to the front door leaving her grandmother to her grief.

Hermione closed the door behind Glennis and went back to the sitting room. She stoked the fire with her wand and looked up at the picture-strewn mantle. She looked at several pictures of her children at play; Silas, Varina, Struan, and Honor. As she let her eyes drift down the mantle, it was like watching a time turner move her life forward; all her children aging with the exception of Struan.

There were Silas, Varina, and Honor as babies and toddlers; on their first day of Hogwarts and then their graduations. Silas getting married to Emily. Varina's marriage to Andrew, and Honor's marriage to Bartholomew. There were the grandchildren: Martin, Jean, Cecilia, Severus (Glennis' father), and Sierra. Their weddings; Jean to Alexander, Cecelia to Peter, Severus to Sandra, Sierra to Philip; a picture of Martin and his partner Jerry, and finally, her great grandchildren: Lucia, Andrea, Ariadne, Mathias, Glennis, Peter, Scott and Emma. There was one large photograph of all of them at Severus' 132nd birthday; his final one. Hermione ran a finger around the frame of that picture and then stroked the picture face of her husband, who was twitching his lips, fighting the smile of happiness he felt wanting to break through, his arms lovingly holding his Hermione closely to him. She then picked up a picture of Struan, turning it this way and that as though she could make him grow up before her eyes and have the life he never did.

Setting the picture back down, she turned away from the fire and sat down on her sofa, picking the black-ribboned bundle that Glennis had asked her about. The letters in this bundle had only been read when they were first written and received. Hermione never had the heart to open them again, nor share them at all, not even with Severus. She breathed in deeply. 'Oh Struan….you were your daddy's boy. He was so in love with you.' Hermione slowly pulled out one of the letters and read, however painful it was to do so.

_20 August 2013_

_Miss Granger,_

_I am sitting here next to MY DEAD SON'S grave writing this to you. I am beyond feeling anything at all, for you, for our children, for Struan and that pains me most of all—that I can't even feel for my dead son._

_What in the name of all the gods were you thinking leaving Silas and Struan alone on the edge of the lake? Your moment of stupidity and impetuosity has cost me my son. I WILL NEVER forgive you for this. You have done so many stupid things during our courtship and marriage that I have been able to forgive—hell I even forgave you for leaving me in that damned shack for dead, but this-this Miss Granger never._

_Do you even realize what Struan meant to me? Of all our children, Struan was the most like me –in looks and demeanour. He was so very special to me. I vowed from the day he was born to protect him as I saw immediately that he would be the least confident of all our children; that he would need special care and protection so that he would not have the life I had as a child, BUT YOU HAVE TAKEN HIM AWAY from me. How could you do this to me? _

_How could you do this to young Silas? What he must see as he tries to go to sleep each night, I can only imagine. Do you want to know what I see each night before I go to sleep? I see the cold lifeless body of my son as Poppy levitated him away from me from the edge of the lake when I came to. I see the simple oaken box he now lays being lowered in the ground. I see the love I had for you dying a little bit each night and wonder if it will ever grow again because I CANNOT FEEL FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. CAN YOU SEE WHAT YOUR STUPIDITY HAS DONE TO ME? TO US?_

_I think it would be best if you take the children and go to your parents. Before you ask-no I am not sure for how long-I cannot even look at you right now, let alone any of the children, it is too painful for me to see them growing and laughing only to know that my Struan lays cold and lonely in a grave by the lake that he died in. Whose idea was it to bury him on the grounds of Hogwarts anyway? I will have him moved somewhere less steeped in the memories of the idiot wife I married and the constant reminder each time that each time I go to see him he is where he died and that I CAN NO LONGER GUIDE HIM IN THIS LIFE. _

_You have hurt me Miss Granger in a way I am not sure can even be fixed. Please be gone by this evening. I will contact you at some point to discuss more permanent living arrangements for the children._

_SS_

Hermione crushed the letter to her chest as she heaved loud sobs of grief. Even today, the viciousness of Severus' response to his son's death overwhelmed her. She had written back, several times in fact, and received no response. It wasn't until well over a year had gone by that Severus finally wrote, confessing he had not opened the letters until a few weeks before he finally wrote to her. The only way she knew what Severus was doing was through Minerva, whom she wrote secretly. When she had control of her tears again, she picked up the first of her letters to Severus during that desperate time and unfolded it, breathing in a breath of courage as she did so.

_21 August 2013_

_I am NOT a stupid woman. I may not make the best decisions occasionally, but I am far from stupid. Don't you ever, ever call me stupid. What _are_ all these apparently stupid things I'm to have done when we were dating and married that you apparently forgave me?_

_No words can describe the shock and horror I feel after reading your letter. That you would place the sole blame of Struan's death on me. He was MY SON, too Severus. I carried and nurtured his body for nine months and then loved him with all my heart and soul after his birth. Not a day went by that I did not see to his every need, as I did with all of OUR children. I stopped teaching so that I could be home for them so that we would not have to rely on daycare or friends. _

_You think I decided to bury him at Hogwarts? Why would I want him at the place of his death? I've no idea who decided that, so don't you dare place that blame on me._

_Silas is distraught. Of course I know he will feel guilty. I trusted him and have let him keep an eye on Varina and Struan several times while I was doing little chores around the house or made a quick trip to take care of something at the apothecary AT YOUR REQUEST (I can write in capital letters too, you bastard). You even encouraged and applauded Silas's responsible behaviour and ability to watch the children for short periods of time, so don't you blame that on me._

_I can hardly believe that you feel that you need us out of your life, when we need you the most. The children want to know where daddy is and why won't mummy stop crying. My parents are at their wits end trying to help them understand what has happened. They watch Varina for me while Silas and I lay in bed for hours on end talking and crying. I am trying so hard to alleviate his guilt and when I want you, my soulmate, my very life, to console me, I find that I am alone when I need you most. _

_You will not take my children away from me. How will you run the apothecary and watch them at the same time? How will you help them grieve for the loss of their brother and, if you proceed with this, the loss of their mother? How will you help them deal with the fact that their world has turned upside down? TELL ME, SEVERUS, TELL ME! Tell me how I am to deal with this since you are so much older than I am and, of course, far more smart and mature._

_Hermione _

Hermione dropped the letter in her lap. She gazed out the window and thought about the horrible months that went by. Wizard marriages were for life with no possibility of divorce. She knew from Minerva that Severus was trying to find a way around the divorce issue. He also, much to her anger and pain, found a way to take Silas and Varina away from her. Severus would not allow Hermione to have the children unsupervised, so her parents would pick them from the Leaky Cauldron and bring them to their house for a few days at a time each month. Hermione would come to visit and stay. When the visit was over, her parents would then take them back to Severus. He even made good on his word to have Struan's body moved. He now rested in the same cemetery as Severus' mother in North Manchester.

Severus never answered any of her letters and after a few months, she gave up writing to him. Any issues regarding the children were taken care of through their solicitors.

_15 November 2013_

_Severus,_

_I am so lonely without you. I am back at Hogwarts, teaching again. Minerva allowed me to teach Muggle Studies part time. Even so, it gives me too much time to think. Silas will be eight in a few weeks' time. Will you please let me see him? I would like to have a little party with his grandparents and the Potter and Weasley children. Would you consider this, please? Even so, I will send a gift along a few days beforehand. I hope you will allow him to have it._

_Severus, please. I've written you several times….won't you please answer me? I cannot think that you would continue to blame me for this; that you would shut me out when we need each other the most. My heart aches and never stops. I still love you._

_Hermione_

_18 December 2013_

_Severus,_

_I hope that Silas had a happy birthday. How did you explain to him that I was not able to see him? How do you explain to both of them where I am and what I am doing? How do you explain to them why we don't live in our home anymore and why Grandma and Grandpa Granger pick them up and take them home?_

_How? How do you explain everything to them? Do you tell them I am an idiot? That I don't love them? That I caused Struan's death?_

_I know that you will not care, but I wanted you to know that I have been seeing a Muggle therapist who deals with parents who experience the death of a child. It has been helpful, but the nights are long and lonely in the castle, and my mind never shuts down allowing me any peace in this sea of grief._

_Please answer my letter. I want to know that you are all right and the children are okay._

_Hermione_

_12 February 2014_

_Severus,_

_I am tired. This will be the last letter I write to you. I can no longer continue to live on hope that you will begin to work your way out of your grief and decide to be a family again._

_After all, you are the king of grudges; you held on to your hate of the marauders for well over 20 years. That I should find myself in that same category with little difficulty on your part should come as no surprise._

_I will continue to abide by the visit schedule for the children you have determined. _

_Severus, above all my grief for our son, I will love you always. I hope that you will remember that._

_Hermione_

* * *

><p><em><em>Although I would normally wait until my beautiful britpicker, xpage394x, gave her final seal on this, I didn't want to wait too long between this chapter and my last one. I know that xpage394x is busy finishing up requirements for her final university weeks and didn't want to pester her. She had read this and stated only a few things needed to be changed so I gave this a good look through, changed a few things, and here it is.

I have never lost a child, but I want to extend my deepest sympathies to any reader who may have. I can't even begin to fathom the emotions that you may have experienced; however, we did experience a deeply personal crisis with our son and it was those emotions I used for this and the next chapter or two.

Thank you to my sister, who gets first crack at every chapter, and to my BP who has become the daughter I wished I had. I also thank onecelestialbeing; she knows why!

Thank you to all those who continue to follow my story and to those who have reviewed. Reviews do feed our souls and muses!

I have written a companion piece to A Raven's Story that tells all about the wedding day and a few honeymoon highlights. It is sitting in the 'stewing' process waiting for that second look through and then it will be off to my betatwin and my britpicker and then to you lovely readers.

Worrywart


	11. Chapter 11

_**I thank you all for your fantastic reviews, story alerts, and favorite story alerts over these past few chapters. Life gets better for the Snapes toward the end of this one, but a few issues need to be gotten through first. I hope you like it!**_

_**I can't thank xpage394x enough for all her wonderful suggestions and thought provoking ideas! Love, love love to her! **_

_**And of course, love, love, love to Worrywart's twin, who helps with my first drafts...and yes, she looks exactly like me! Please say a little prayer for her...she'll be undergoing a surgical procedure in two weeks. I'll probably head to her home shortly thereafter so I can take care of her for a bit. Hell, all we'll do is eat bon bons and read fan fiction (well...I'll eat bon bons, she can have them mushed into puree)!**_

_**JK Rowling owns it, we play with it. Nice how that works out, isn't it?  
><strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 11 Bond Never Broken<strong>_

Hermione set the box down on the side table and went to the kitchen to fix something to eat. Her thoughts wandered away to those mournful days. She never would have dreamed that it would take 16 months of separation for Severus to come round. During this period she saw Silas and Varina two weekends each month, supervised; the children wouldn't say a word against their father during their visits. Hermione was informed that one of the house elves took care of the children when Severus was unable to do so and that any time the apothecary was closed Severus himself would care for them.

Hermione was devastated to discover that Severus had been drinking heavily at night. Minerva had stopped by for a visit one evening and although he seemed to be functioning normally, he reeked of alcohol and his cheeks were flushed. When Minerva questioned the house elves about his drinking, they relayed that he only drank at night after the children were in bed. A house elf generally spent the night in case the children needed anything. Minerva wrote to Hermione alerting her to the situation, but made it clear that he was by no means endangering the children. Hermione was distraught that things had gotten so bad in the home Severus shared with her children and could only take comfort in the fact that he waited until the children were asleep to drink.

She placed the sandwich she had made on a plate and got a cold drink from the refrigerator. Returning to the living room, she set her meal down on the coffee table and pulled the box of letters to her lap. She sifted through the parchments until she found the one Severus finally wrote in December of 2014. This was the letter she had waited for during the 16 months she had spent estranged from her husband; the letter she had hoped would arrive each morning since that fateful day.

_6 December 2014_

_Hermione,_

_It humbles me to confess to you that until several weeks ago, all the letters you have sent to me over the last 16 months have lain unopened. I am not sure what made me open the first one, but it led to the others and the crippling realisation that I have not only lost my son, but I may have lost my wife as well._

_I don't know what I am doing to us, to all of us. What the hell was I thinking shutting you out the children's lives and mine as well? Gods Hermione it hurts; I know it hurts you as well, and I do not even know how to fix this or even if can be fixed? Can it?_

_I have wrestled with my mind and sought the advice of a certain wise meddling portrait, and I realize that you were not wholly to blame for what happened to Struan. However, what has happened to us; to Silas and to Varina is _my_ fault, and I want to fix it. Please Hermione- let me fix this._

_I have spoken to my solicitor and both you and your parents now have unrestricted access to the children whenever you wish to see one another. You are not stupid; you never were stupid. I am the stupid one; stupid for pushing away the one person who could heal me and for disregarding my duty as your husband to help you heal. I have never stopped loving you, even when I hated you. I could never truly stop loving you._

_Please Hermione; let us fix this._

_All my love,_

_Severus_

The room felt chilly as Hermione finished the letter from Severus. She glanced at the fire and saw it had died down. Picking up her dishes, she stood from the sofa and went into the kitchen. She placed the plate and cup in the sink deciding she'd wash them up in the morning.

Returning to the sitting room, she retrieved the box, turned out the tableside lamp, and went to her bedroom. She set the box down on her bureau and got ready for bed. Before getting into the bed, she opened her window a fraction to let in some fresh air. Although March could be a chancy month weather-wise, she still wanted some air. The smell of Severus' winter herb garden floated in and carried her toward other memories. Slipping into bed, she went over her day spent with Glennis and then to her evening, reading those heartbreaking letters. She and Severus, even years later, still mourned the 16 months lost in their marriage as they survived on hate and grief Although they finally began communicating in December of 2014, it wasn't until mid-January 2015 that they finally met for the first time since Struan's funeral; and though it started off shakily and even went quite badly in the middle, looking back, Hermione could not deny that it ended wonderfully.

_Flashback_

The Great Hall was quiet for a Saturday morning. Only a few students dotted the house tables; although it was a Hogsmeade weekend, most students still were abed. Minerva made her way to the staff table for some breakfast to find Hermione already there. The older woman knew that Hermione and Severus had finally broken through their pain and were communicating again via letter, but she knew of no reconciliation in the works. She smiled to herself at the thought. She knew that the two lovers wrote to each other constantly when thoughts and emotions would overwhelm them. Severus because he was emotionally stunted secondary to his upbringing and his still ever present fear of rejection, and Hermione, because although she wore her heart on her sleeve, she kept a tight control on her thoughts as she grew up; a unique quality among Gryffindors.

"Good morning, dear!" Minerva greeted Hermione cheerfully and since the Great Hall was nearly empty, with a kiss to the top of her head. She so loved this Gryffindor lioness like a daughter. "I see you have another letter," Minerva nodded her head pointedly to the parchment in Hermione's hand.

Hermione answered excitedly, "Severus would like me to meet him today! Since I am chaperoning the Hogsmeade trip, I thought I'd floo him before I go and ask him to meet me at the Three Broomsticks for lunch." She bit her lip and looked at her second mother. "That should be safe, shouldn't it?"

"Hermione, don't be afraid. Surely you two have worked things out in your letters?"

"We have started. It is easier to hide emotions when you can erase anything you may feel is offensive or hurtful in a letter. However, to see him face to face after so long…I am extremely anxious."

"We both know that Severus, for all his billowing and sneers and scowls, will be just as nervous. Lunch in public is a 'safe' option for the both of you. I encourage you to do so."

Hermione seemed a bit more confident now. "Yes, it is. I must go and floo him right away and then get ready to go." She stood up and quickly left the hall. Before she was out of the door she returned and impulsively flung herself at Minerva's shoulders for a hug. "Go on, you," Minerva chuckled. Hermione returned to her quarters, grabbed some floo powder and chucked it into the flames. "Snape residence!"

"Mummy!" Silas had heard the fireplace erupt with the sound of a floo call. When he saw it was his mother, he was gleeful. "Mummy, are you coming over today? Please mummy, please?"

"I have to chaperone Hogsmeade today Silas, so I can't. Is Daddy home? Will you get him for me?"

"I am here, Hermione. I heard Silas's rather _loud_ greeting." He smiled softly at his son and spoke carefully to him. "Now, run along while I talk to mummy. Before she leaves, I promise to call you and Varina back so that you can talk to her a bit as well." Silas scampered away. "Is there something wrong, Hermione? I didn't expect a floo call so early."

"No, nothing is wrong, Severus. I got your owl this morning, and I would love to meet you." She could see a tiny sort of smile on Severus' face at that. "However, I have to chaperone the Hogsmeade trip. Could you meet me in the Three Broomsticks at noon for lunch?"

Severus thought about this. Although he had wanted to meet her alone and in private for their discussion, perhaps meeting on a more neutral ground would be beneficial to them both. "Yes, that will be fine. Are you all right, Hermione?"

"I am fine, Severus. I have missed you terribly, but I am fine now."

"I have been at a loose end without you twittering about the place. I never realised how much of a handful the children are, even with help from the elves."

Hermione chuckled. "I can't say I disagree with you there. Oh, Severus, I can't wait to see you. Promise me you'll be there?"

"Yes Pet, I will be," Severus smiled a true smile now. "Here, let me call the children to speak with you a bit."

The children flung themselves at the fireplace like a pack of rabid wolves, so excited to see their mother. They were very disappointed they wouldn't see her that day, but she promised them she would very, very soon. After pulling back from the fireplace, Hermione went to the bathroom for a shower and to change for Hogsmeade. Today's weather was cold and snowy so she needed time to pick out something that would be warm, but that would also look pretty for Severus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~HG~~~~~~~~~~~~~SS~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The students ebbed and flowed from the shops. Many had Christmas galleons to be spent at Honeydukes, Zonko's and a few other popular shops. Hermione wandered slowly around the village, stopping at Schrivenshaft's for new quills and Tomes and Scrolls for a new book. She broke up a few squabbles and helped a third year Ravenclaw who had fallen on some ice. Slowly the clock crept toward noon and she made her way to the Three Broomsticks

Warmth blew out the door when she opened it and the noise level was incredible. Young voices laughed with abandon, the girls voices carrying higher the boys. Hermione looked around for Severus but did not find him. There were no empty tables either and her spirits dampened. She saw Madam Rosemerta wave her over the bar and headed in that direction.

"You'll be finding what you want through the door at the back; it's the private meeting room." Rosemerta winked at Hermione.

"Oh, thank you!" Hermione smiled and moved through the crowd.

The door creaked quietly as she opened it. Her first glance at the room showed a crackling fire with comfortable chairs nestled beside it. A smaller table and chairs stood off to the left a bit but still within the fire's warmth. She stepped into the room and shut the door. As she undid her cloak, a cough interrupted her. She squeaked in fright.

"I did not mean to frighten you," a very familiar voice washed over her body.

"It's all right. I didn't see you when I first looked in."

"No matter." Both adults looked at each other, their eyes devouring what they had not seen for so long. Hermione noted that Severus' hair was longer than it had ever been. He had pulled it back in a ponytail as he knew she preferred. He had not shaved for a few days either she noticed. Throughout the years she had asked him to try a beard or goatee; she wondered if he was attempting it now.

"You're growing a beard?" she asked.

"I thought I'd see what would happen," he smirked.

For his part, Severus noticed that she was thinner than she had been in years. Motherhood had filled out her figure and he adored her lush body. Her once fuller breasts seemed to have returned to their pre-pregnancy size. Her womanly curves were still present, just thinner. Her hair was pleated as he preferred. "You are not eating again, are you?"

"Severus, please don't nag the moment we see each other," she gently chided.

"You're right." They made a faltering attempt toward each other but when Severus pulled back, so did Hermione. "Come; sit and warm up," said Severus, his hand leading the way. "Would you like something to drink? Rosemerta left several options; wine, Firewhisky, and your favourite, hot chocolate."

"How did she know I like hot chocolate?"

"She didn't, but I know you and your cold weather drinks."

"Thank you." He handed her the mug of hot drink, took a measure of Firewhisky for himself and they made their way to the chairs. An uneasy silence hung in the air. Hermione opened her mouth a few times to speak, but snapped it shut each time. Finally she spoke, "I feel like it is our first date; do you remember? For all our verbosity in letters, we were quite tongue-tied at first!" She took a drink.

Severus exhaled a laugh loudly from his nose. "Yes, but once the ice was broken, discussion was never a problem again. In fact, getting you to stop sometimes was the problem," he teased.

Hermione squeaked indignantly. "I do not talk too much!" but she smiled as she said this, and Severus knew he wasn't in for a tongue lashing. "Severus, I have missed you so much. How could we let this go on for so long?"

"Hermione, I can only say that anger is a terrible master, and you know I have been its servant for most of my life. That day at the lake," Severus looked at Hermione her eyes glistening in the firelight. He took a sip of his whisky and cleared his throat. "That day at the lake, the anger that ruled my life for so long took over me. I lashed out the only way I knew how and that was to hurt and hurt deeply those I felt were the cause of my anger. I was so tired of hurting and being angry that I wanted anyone and everyone to feel exactly as I did then. All the years of hate I had welled up in me. I must admit, I came very close to physically hurting you. I thought to myself that this is what my father must have felt like when the liquor overwhelmed him and he beat me and my mother. To injure and hurt was what I really wanted to do. It took all of my self-control to not hurt you."

"Oh love, I am so sorry." Hermione scrubbed at the tears falling into her nose. The two sat in silence for a while before Hermione moved from her chair to kneel in front of Severus. She took his hands in her own shaking hands. "I knew you were hurting, and I wanted nothing more than to comfort you and to have you comfort me when I was so numb. I have no memory of those first few days. That first month is a little hazy."

Severus moved his hands to encompass Hermione's. "Your hands are cold, love." He rubbed them briskly. He was about to speak, when a house elf popped in with their meal. "Here, let's eat and then we'll talk some more." He stood and then offered his hand to Hermione and pulled her up. They were very close and he could not resist. He pulled her closer, placed a hand under her chin to pull her mouth to his. The kiss was tentative at first and he pulled back to gauge her reaction. She looked deep into his eyes and he into hers. Their lips met again. His tongue licked at her lip and she opened her mouth. As their tongues met and the warmth spread through their bodies. Hermione revelled in his taste; the fresh whisky mingled with his natural scent and overwhelmed her senses. Severus pushed her tongue back into her mouth with his own and swept around tasting each area of her mouth. After a few moments, Hermione's stomach grumbled. They pulled back; cheeks flushed and not because of the heat from the fire. Severus ran his hands down Hermione's shoulders and arms then pulled her into a hug. "Let's eat,"he growled into her ear, nipping it every so carefully.

Over the meal of braised beef, sprouts, and mash, they spoke of the Silas and Varina. Even though Hermione was now able to see them unrestrictedly, her job at Hogwarts kept her from seeing them daily and this was the information she asked Severus for; the day to day boring details. He was happy to provide them for her.

"Hermione, the children want to know when you're coming home." Severus had finished his pudding and was drinking a cup of tea.

"As soon as we think I should." Hermione got up and went to sit by the fire again, Severus following her lead. "I mean, just because we've met today doesn't mean everything that has happened over the last 16 months is all fixed." Hermione studied the floor intently as she spoke before worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.

"I don't understand." Severus' stomach dropped as he considered what she could possibly mean and he gazed at her pensively.

"You said some very hurtful things to me don't you think? I mean, I don't want you to think that if you just say you're sorry everything will be all taken care of, swept under the rug. I don't think you would have said what you did without some underlying feeling about them."

Severus took a long look at Hermione. It would be just like her to want to dig in farther when all he wanted to do was exactly what she said; say I'm sorry and move on without addressing any of the underlying issues. He was not happy about this, and his temper started to flare.

"Whereas you want to open this up and examine it to death, right?"

"Poor choice of words, dear," she responded coldly.

"This is so you." Severus practically jumped from his chair and began pacing. "Can't you ever just accept things have happened, we've grown and learned from it, and move on? Why do you have to dig and dig?" Severus was beginning to shout.

"You said some horrible things to me! Obviously something about my habits had been bothering you for quite a long time in order for you to say what you said!" Hermione sighed and looked at her watch. "It's late, and I have to get the students back to school. I really don't want to leave when we're both so angry. I fear if I do, we'll go back to not speaking or writing anymore. "

"What do you suggest we do then?"

"Would you be willing to come to the castle later? Go back home and see if my parents would be willing to take the children overnight. We can talk more privately then."

"That will be suitable. After the evening meal then?"

"Yes. Thank you Severus," Hermione sighed in relief.

Severus saying nothing in return and simply disapparated. Hermione left the room and as she swept through the pub, called to the students that it was time to head back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~HG~~~~~~~~~~~~~SS~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus knocked on the door of Hermione's quarters shortly after 8 p.m. She opened the door to let him in.

"Severus. Let me take your cloak." After hanging his cloak she watched as he moved to a wing chair near the fireplace, but remained standing. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you." Never a shrinking violet, Severus jumped right into the discussion. "Please tell me what it is that you feel is the underlying issue."

"Getting right to it, eh?" Hermione stated icily. She looked at Severus hoping that he would lead the conversation further. After getting no response, she pulled out her wand and performed a silencing spell. She figured the rest of the school did not need to hear what she was sure was coming. "In your letters you accused me of being stupid and doing stupid things during my schooling, our courtship and our marriage. You, apparently, have graciously forgiven me for leaving you for dead. For the life of me I cannot recall ever hearing you say the words 'I forgive you' nor can I recall ever hearing you point out just what stupid things I have done. Please enlighten me." Her voice had risen as she completed her little tirade. Despite the overwhelming desperation she felt for them to fix things and move forward she couldn't help but let her hurt and anger erupt; they could never move on without clearing the air first. She sat down and waved at him to begin enlightening her.

Severus stood at the back of the chair, his hand rubbing the top of it. With a sneer on his face he began. "Shall I list them for you? Hmmm, let's see…fighting a troll in your first year; the Polyjuice potion in your second year….meow by the way; the time turner in your third year, did you know I have a scar on the back of my head from where you threw me into that wall? Viktor Krum in your fourth year; the Department of Mysteries in your fifth year, I know a Dolohov scar when I see it; the DA in your sixth year, and I know I have mentioned the stupidity of traipsing around Great Britain in what should have been your seventh year!"

Taking in a breath he continued, "The rather public outing of our relationship by the Weasleys at your graduation dinner; oh, and that little incident when you were at school and that boy just happened to 'show up' in your room when we had a date to celebrate my birthday; your panic over stupid little things for our wedding, and of course, let's not forget the _pièce de résistance_ …"

Hermione shrieked at him, "STOP! Do not dare go there, don't you dare! I am not to blame for Struan's death. It was an accident!"

"IT WAS THE END OF MY LIFE!" Severus roared at her.

"AND WHAT ABOUT MINE!" she screamed back at him. She stood looking at him, panting from anger. "My heart was ripped from me when Struan died and when I wanted you, the one person who knew me better than anyone, the very person who is my soul mate, to understand and help me….. you abandoned me. Why, Severus, why?" She looked at his face searching for some sort of answer, her own face screwed up against the tears that threatened to spill.

"Because it hurt, and I didn't want to live anymore if life was going to hurt. I had had enough of it Hermione. 20 years of it and I thought it was over. The pain of losing Lily nearly destroyed me. Then Voldemort died the first time, and I thought that life would be easy again, except for the fact I had to watch over Potter. That was a fantasy thinking the Dark Lord was gone. When he came back in your fourth year I had to go back to him." Severus slammed his hands against the fireplace mantel. "Do you know what happened when I finally got to his side? The other Death Eaters took great delight in reminding one another that I had escaped a prison sentence in Azkaban and so the Dark Lord, who was still weak from being reborn and then fighting Potter, allowed them to torture me. For the next three years my life was hell, and I just wanted it to be done." He turned to look at Hermione. "Every day I woke up not knowing if I would make it through the day. I can't tell you how many times I taught class in so much pain I could barely speak."

Severus could not hold back his emotions now. His voice quavered as he spoke and his eyes were rimmed in red and unshed tears. "When Nagini bit me I was glad," he laughed incredulously. "Glad that it was finally over, that my pain and suffering were over. Well, we both know that I didn't die; that pain and suffering were still around the corner, always a fearful possibility and to my mind a probability.

"And then you happened; I dared to hope again and you rewarded me with happiness and contentment." Severus had collapsed at Hermione's feet. She knelt down to take him in her arms, her tears falling into his hair. "Hermione I just wanted to be happy and have no more pain. I counted on you to make that happen. You were pure and innocent in body and mind; the complete antithesis of me, and I had hoped that by being bound to you, you would exorcise the evil from me."

"I love you Severus, and I am sorry I took your hope away from you; I never meant to. I know you had such a hard life, and I wanted nothing more than to make you happy, for always. I am sorry I am not all you wanted me to be."

He finally looked into her eyes. "Oh, Hermione, you _are_ all I want you to be, but everything hurt so much, and I didn't want to live and I didn't want for my life to continue being my fault, so I blamed you. I know none of this was your fault. Silas did keep a good eye on Struan; I know he did because he has before. You are not stupid. You've done silly things yes, but you are not stupid. I am so sorry."

His words became unintelligible as he gripped her arms and buried his face in her neck. She shushed him and whispered comforting words to him. After a bit, she pulled his face from her neck to look at him, her hands cupping his cheeks that were as wet as hers. He moved forward and took her lips under his. What started out as kisses asking forgiveness became kisses of comfort and then passion and before long, in front of the fire, atonement was given and taken.

Two days later, Hermione began to apparate to the Snape home each evening, Minerva having given her permission. She also told Hermione that if she wanted she could resign her position at the end of the term. Hermione thankfully agreed.

The end of March found Hermione in the bathroom looking at her calendar. When she missed her February monthly she gave it no thought; it had happened before and given the stress she had been under it didn't surprise her to miss it. However, when she missed March's little visitor and began to be sensitive to certain smells, she became suspicious. Frowning she pulled out her wand and performed the spell Poppy taught her years ago. Gold for negative, white for positive. With a flick of her wrist she murmured the spell. A smile appeared on her face as her hand ran over her stomach.

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><p><strong>This was my longest chapter to date; I hope it was worth it! <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Two items: We are all aware of the purging by Fan fic of stories that do not meet the criteria set forth in the ratings system. After much discussion with other authors, I have decided (once I cooled my heels) to continue posting on Fan Fiction, my first home. However, I have opened an account on Ashwinder, still using the same pen name. My goal is to post MA rated stories there and all other stories to both sties. My story, _She Was His Student_ was taken down by me and I am currently posting it to Ashwinder.  
><strong>

**The second item is regarding a mild flame where I was chastised for allowing our couple to have premarital sex. I will not debate that issue with anyone; it's your life, you live it as you feel best. However what upset me was that this reviewer was too cowardly to allow me, or anyone else for that matter, to PM her in response. The reviewer hopes that I find out what love truly means and that sex belongs inside marriage. This means she did not read my profile because had she done so, she would see that I AM married (almost 25 years, in fact) so I might know a tad or two about love!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12 Birth of Honour<strong>

Sunshine filtered through the curtain of Hermione's bedroom window waking the witch. Rather than getting up right away, she lay listening to the sounds coming in through the slightly open window. Nearby she could hear the plaintive cries of the nestlings in the oak tree at the end of the garden, and farther off she could hear children laughing as they made their way to the village school. Pulling what was once Severus' pillow to her, she hugged it close and inhaled the lingering scent that rose from its depths.

She traced her thoughts to the years she shared this bed with her handsome husband; aside from the most obvious memories of shared loving moments, she also thought of Christmas mornings when her children bounced onto the bed to wake the couple. Severus would always pretend to be asleep as little hands patted his face and arms. This would continue for some minutes before he suddenly rose up to catch the children in a huge bear hug causing them to squeal in fright and excitement. Enfolding the children in his arms, he would lumber out to the sitting room so they could open presents. Hermione smiled at the memory. There were also stormy nights when frightened children bound into the room and begged to be allowed to sleep with their parents. A nightmare or two also caused her bed to become filled to capacity at times.

She finally roused herself and after using the loo, she made her bed. Severus always teased her for making the bed the Muggle way, but there was something therapeutic in seeing the wrinkles made smooth and the pillows punched into inviting fluffy shapes. She then changed her clothes and wandered into the kitchen. After making a light breakfast of toast and tea, she washed up her breakfast dishes as well as the ones from the night before and then went outside. The day was chilly, but the sun promised to be warm. She decided a brisk walk was what she needed before she resumed clearing out Severus' wardrobe.

Her steps took her through the village of Hogsmeade, past Snape and Son's Apothecary, and out past the Shrieking Shack. Beyond the shack lay the village cemetery. Hermione opened the gate and made her way to the mound of earth and flowers that marked her husband's grave. She stood in front of the headstone and sighed.

Severus Tobias Snape

B. 9 January 1960

D. 3 Mar 2091

Hermione had contemplated having some sort of epitaph engraved on his stone, but could find nothing suitable. When it came down to it, he was an intensely private man and any sentiment would have made him angry. "Good morning, love," Hermione spoke cheerfully. "I miss you. I know I'll see you before long, but it is so lonely in the house without you. I keep expecting to hear you grumble about something you've read in the paper and accuse me of losing your reading glasses again." Hermione bent to whisk some dirt from the base of the headstone and traced the letters of Severus' name. "Glennis has been keeping my company this week. I was clearing out your wardrobe, and she came to visit. I dug out the box where I've kept our letters. Severus, we wrote so many! Did you ever realise that? Glennis and I have been reading some. She is curious about you and me; don't worry, I've not read her any of the more _private_ ones."

Hermione stood and looked around her. Long grass bent against the gentle wind that blew, and the scent of the flowers that lay upon the mound of dirt in front of her enveloped her. She was briefly startled when Poe swooped in and landed on the headstone. She reached out and stroked his feathers. Breathing deeply, she spoke again, "I read through the ones when Struan died last night. We lost so much time in anger, dear one; time we'll never have back. Oh, God, that was the worst time of my life. Even horcrux hunting didn't compare to that. But, in the end, we were stronger, weren't we?'

Hermione shuddered as a sudden chill of air swept around her. She pulled her cloak closer around her. "I can't stay, love. I just wanted to come and talk to you a bit. I miss you Severus. I am sorry if I don't come as often as you'd like, but when it gets warmer, I'll come for longer visits." Patting the headstone with one hand, she kissed the tips of the other and pressed them into the shiny granite surface. "I love you," she whispered and turned to leave, Poe flying gently in her wake.

As she walked slowly back to the house, she recalled the letters she read last night and the joy of her reunion with Severus. Her fourth pregnancy had been such a surprise for the couple, and it took them many weeks to come round to the idea that another child was coming. With a smile on her face, she remembered the day her last child was born. She was supposed to have the baby at home in her own bed, just as she did with the other three, but fate had other things in store for the Snape family.

_Flashback_

_21 September 2015_

"Hermione, it's so late in the pregnancy, are you sure we shouldn't stay home? Your parents will understand if we don't visit until after our anniversary," Severus said as he turned to wave Silas away who had been bouncing up and down tugging at Severus' sleeve as he spoke to Hermione. "Silas, get down. I am not a tree."

"Dad! I needed help with some homework. I am having trouble with my maths."

"Just a minute, I will help you. What is your sister doing?"

"She's reading, what else?" Silas said disgustedly. "All she ever does is read." He turned and wandered away.

"Severus, I feel fine. The baby isn't due for two more weeks. My parents are looking forward to our visit and seeing the children. Stop fussing so. I want to go out while I can before I have to be stuck in the house for so long."

"All right, all right," Severus said resignedly; he knew not to mess with a heavily pregnant Hermione. "Do you have everything we need then?"

"Yes. We should leave in about a half an hour. I am just going to go to the bathroom again." As she walked away, Severus caught a look at her face, which was furrowed in what seemed to be pain

"Hermione, are you having any pain?" He followed his waddling wife to their bathroom.

"Some, Sev, but it is to be expected. It's those Braxton-Hicks. You know they are common before birth." Hermione moved to wash her hands giving Severus a bit of shove as he leant in front of the sink. "You remember I had them before."

"Yes, and as I also remember when you had them it meant that you were only hours away from birth. You aren't being stubborn about this are you? I remember with Silas you insisted on cleaning the entire study before finally getting into bed. He was born within the hour!" He handed Hermione a towel to dry her hands.

"Thank you. Severus I am fine," Hermione hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Now let's go!"

Around 3:30 in the afternoon, the family arrived at the Granger's via floo, the only safe way for Hermione to travel at this stage of her pregnancy. After hugs all around, the children filled their grandparents in on all that was happening at school and home and then went outside to play. They had visited their grandparent's home frequently enough to have several friends in the neighbourhood.

Hermione and her mother settled in the sitting room for a good chin wag while Severus and her father went to his study for some chess and Scotch. "Dinner will be ready at 7!" Helen hollered after the men. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"I've been having contractions on and off, but that's to be expected with two weeks to go," Hermione replied, shifting in her chair to get more comfortable. She didn't realize that the winces of pain she had been experiencing were visible on her face.

"Are you sure? You look uncomfortable," her mother clicked her tongue in disapproval as she eyed Hermione speculatively.

"I'm fine, Mother!" Hermione answered exasperatedly. "Now what's new at the surgery?"

For the next hour the two chatted about the surgery, neighbours, the kids, the Weasley's, the apothecary; all the things a couple of females would chat about. They had just reached the topic of what the Potter's were up to when they were interrupted by the doorbell.

"Stay here, I'll get it," said Helen. "No sense in you getting up only to have to work your way down again."

Hermione could hear muffled voices in the hall. She attempted to keep still, but she had to admit that the contractions were getting stronger, and she should probably head back home and call Poppy.

"Come into the sitting room, Vince. Hermione; look who's here!" Helen's mother called happily as she ushered a short stocky man through the door.

"Uncle Vince! What a surprise. What are you doing here?" She attempted to get up, but Vince motioned to her to stay seated.

"Helen had asked me to bring over some pamphlets on the charity drive the station is hosting, so I was on my way home from my shift and stopped by on a whim. How are you?" He bent down to peck Hermione's cheek. "It's good to see you. Where's that husband of yours?"

"He's in the study playing chess with Dad." Hermione smiled as she remembered the first time Uncle Vince met Severus. Vince, a paramedic, was her mother's younger brother and knew all about Hermione's abilities. After a few moments of possessive posturing by both males (Severus as Hermione's intended and Vince as protective Uncle to his only niece), they sat down and awkwardly began to chat. It wasn't until Severus mentioned a few healing charms that caught the interest of Vince that conversation really took off and they had been on good terms ever since. As Hermione, Vince and her mother chatted, Hermione had the sudden urge to go to the loo. She stood up and immediately felt a rush of wetness down her legs.

"Hermione!" Helen screeched. "Severus, John! Come quickly! Hermione's water broke! Helen hovered over Hermione to help her to the loo. "Vince, go into my bedroom and strip the bed. You'll need to give us a hand."

Two men dashed into the sitting room. "Severus!" Hermione puffed.

"I knew we should have stayed home, I told you they'd und-"

"Stop. I know you did. Please let me get to the loo and then help me lay down. Can you call Poppy? I don't think it will be very long." This statement was followed by a gasp of pain and Hermione began her breathing exercises.

John turned to Severus. "Where are the kids?"

"Outside playing, they mentioned something about the Stewart's."

"I'll go round them up and ask the Stewart's to keep them for a while. I'm sure they'll understand."

Before she knew it, Hermione was naked and in her mother's bed. Severus ran into the room and stepped up to the bed. He cast an impervious charm on the mattress and one sheet that covered Hermione's panting form.

"I couldn't get a hold of Poppy. Minerva said she was at her sister's."

"Well, we need help. I already need to push!"

Vince moved to Hermione's feet. "Severus, call the ambulance; I'll see what I can do." He lifted the sheets to see how things were progressing.

Severus shook his head. "No ambulance; once the baby is born and Hermione is settled, we'll apparate to Hogwarts." Severus sat behind Hermione to help her push. Overcome with emotion, he experienced a sense of déjà vu. Kissing Hermione's head he spoke softly, "They all came quickly. Struan came the fastest, remember love?"

Hermione turned her head to whisper in his ear. "I remember. He did everything quickly, didn't he?" She panted heavily. Turning her head back to Vince, "I need to push!"

"Okay, Hermione," Vince commanded softly, "I can already see the head. Well, we can certainly tell this one's a Snape with that colour hair. When I tell you, go ahead and push."

"John, you're back!" Helen called to her husband as she heard him come through the door. "Get Vince some…" she looked at Vince in a questioning manner.

"Towels…..wet and dry. A pair of scissors and the alcohol. And twine if you've got it." Vince turned his attention back to Hermione. "All right love, go ahead and push."

Hermione pushed while Severus counted to 10. Severus helped Hermione breath and push and encouraged her as best he could. "C'mon love, you can do it!"

Hermione pushed again. Vince put a hand up to her, indicating she should stop pushing. "The head is out; hold up love, I need to untangle the cord."

John slid into the room. "Here!" He dropped the stuff on the bed. "Erg!" He turned away quickly. It's one thing to see your wife's anatomy as she gave birth, quite another to see your daughter's.

"Okay Hermione, just a couple more," Vince encouraged.

Hermione pushed two more times. She felt the baby slid from her body as well as a wave of liquid. A tiny angry wail sounded in the room. She let out a sigh of relief and fell back against Severus. "Is it a boy or girl?"

"It's a girl!" her mother cried excitedly as she took the baby from Vince's hands.

"Severus, come cut the cord," Vince said.

Severus lay Hermione against the pillows and then with shaking hands, took the scissors from John, who had cleaned them with alcohol, and cut between the two pieces of twine Vince had positioned on the umbilical cord.

While Severus was cutting the cord, Helen gave a cursory wipe of the baby's body with a wet towel. She then wrapped her granddaughter up in a dry towel and gave her to Severus. He stepped to the bed and sat.

"Hermione, she's beautiful! Look!" Severus tipped the baby so Hermione could see her. She struggled against the pillows a bit more and held her arms out so Severus could lay the baby in her arms. Neither couple said much at first, both lost in memories of previous deliveries and at the amazement of this birth. They looked into each other's eyes watching the emotions flicker through them. "I love you Hermione. Thank you for my daughter." He kissed Hermione's forehead and then his daughter's.

Hermione smiled, her eyes speaking for her, and cupped his cheek with her hand. "Here; take the baby, and you and Dad clean her up. I think I've got a bit more to do." Severus and John took the child to the en suite bathroom while Vince helped Hermione deliver the placenta and get cleaned up. Hermione helped vanish the mess and clean up the bed with her wand. Helen took a nightgown out of her bureau and helped Hermione into it. Once she was tucked in, Helen went to check on the men.

The three returned with a cleaned up baby wrapped snugly in a towel. "Oh, we don't have any nappies or clothes!" Hermione exclaimed.

"As luck would have it, your Aunt Matilda mailed us a parcel for you," Helen said. "Open it and see what's in it. In the meantime, John and I will walk down to the corner shop and pick up some nappies. Vince you were wonderful," Helen gushed.

"Yes, Vincent, thank you," Severus spoke from the bed, not taking his eyes off his wife and new daughter. "I am grateful you were here."

"As am I," Hermione concurred. The new parents were oblivious to the others in the room, so Helen ushered the others out. As Helen closed the door leaving the new parents alone she said softly to John and Vince, "I think they need some time alone. I am sure they are remembering Struan right now. Let's get the nappies and then fetch Silas and Varina so they can see their new sister."

"What a wild afternoon," said Vince shaking his head. "I gotta get home myself. Lovely to see you!"

Helen hugged her brother. "Thank you for everything!"

Severus sat down and gave the baby to Hermione, who placed the child to her breast.

"You should go get the kids so they can meet their new sister."

"In a moment, Pet. I just want a few minutes with you and her." Severus and Hermione looked at each other. "I miss him so much, Hermione."

Hermione pulled Severus to her and he tucked his head into her neck and placed his hand on the baby. "I know, love, I know," she said. "There's not a day goes go by that I don't think of him." A few minutes passed as they sat with their thoughts and watched the baby suckle.

Severus sat up and cleared his throat. "Well, happy anniversary, love. She is quite a present!"

"What shall we name her? I don't think we gave it any thought to it this time! Usually we have the names picked out well in advance."

"We've had a lot going on this year." Severus kissed Hermione again and then touched his forehead to hers. "I cherish you so much."

"And I you. 12 years ago I vowed to love, honour, and respect you. I do so now more than ever. You complete me."

"Honour."

"Yes, I do."

"No, I mean for the baby, what if we call her Honour? Since she was born on our anniversary and despite all we've gone through, we've been honourable to each other."

"I like it." Hermione smiled. "What about a second name?"

"Throughout your pregnancy I felt as if she were a gift to us. A reprieve in our grief. I'd like something to recall that feeling."

"What about Grace?"

"Hmmm, no, I don't think so."

"Then why not simply 'Reprieve'?"

"Honour Reprieve Snape."

_End_

The birth of the last Snape child was a pivotal moment for the family. Although they never forgot their son and brother, the joy of a new child helped them become whole again and heal in a way they didn't realize they needed.

Struan Snape was loved and remembered.

Always.

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><p>A heartfelt thanks to xpage394x who telepathically knows what I am thinking and helps me find it for my stories. She and I burnt up the internet trading birthing stories. The part where Vince jokes about the colour of the baby's hair is because when I was attempting to bring Worrywart Jr into the world, the doctors would joke about with lines from The Meaning of Life and Saturday Night Live. Worrywart Jr. seemed to be quite cozy where he was and after three days of contractions and 2.5 hours of pushing, it was decided to break the little beggar out of jail, so to speak. As he was pulled from my uterus, he had a pointy head and the doctor said, "Oh, look; a conehead!"<p>

Thanks to Aurette for allowing me to aide and abet insofar as Hermione's parents' names.

There's a big blue button right over...here: Please press it and take a moment to tell me if you like my story or not. Thanks!


	13. Chapter 13

**JK Rowling owns Harry Potter; I do not. *Cries quietly in the corner.***

**When you get a sec, mosey on over to xpage394x's story, Your Mouth Is Poison, Your Mouth Is Wine. It's getting reallllll goooood!**

**Thanks to my sister for the beta read and to xpage394x for the brit picking. I feels she despairs I will ever learn that lots of British words end in 'our' and not 'or' and that little tidbit and the letter s and the letter z...and some one word words in the US are two in England...and so on...but she's a keeper, and I will get it into my head!**

**We begin to see a change in Severus' characterization from here on out. He has finally learned that love brings pain sometimes, but love can continue to grow even if it painful. He has learned to relax and enjoy the life he has been given. He is truly becoming a happy bastard, indeed.**

**As well, the dates of the letters begin to span widely. I want to move the plot forward to begin to focus on the letters where the children are growing, going to Uni and marrying. This will eventually bring us to the end of our story, which is about three more chapters.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 13 Interludes on life<strong>

Glennis knocked on Hermione's door later the next afternoon. The sky was blue and sunny, and she could smell the lavender and bluebells that her great grandfather had planted many, many years ago. She remembered when she was little holding the gardening basket for her great granddad as he walked around clipping the plants and pulling seed pods. He would admonish her quietly not to tramp on the plants. A flapping of wings disturbed her memories, and she looked up to see Poe alight on the perch near the door. "Hello old thing," she said as she stroked his head. "Where's your mistress today?"

"Here I am!" Hermione came around the corner of the house. It's a lovely day and fairly mild. I thought we could sit out back in the garden; the sun is warmest there."

Glennis followed her great grandmother and the two of them settled on a high backed wicker seat complete with comfy cushions. Hermione had tea and biscuits ready on the table in front of the seat, the box of letters open and ready. Poe flew nearby and landed on the back of the seat. "How are you this morning, Gran? You look tired."

"l am. I read the letters last night after you left," she sighed. "So much pain."

Glennis reached for Hermione's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You told me once how much having Great Aunty Honour helped you grieve."

"She did. Her birth was unplanned, and we had only just become a family again. The months leading up to her birth were a whirlwind of emotions. Severus and I were still working through our issues, but we saw a Muggle counsellor who helped us a great deal. Honour's birth helped heal us in a way we couldn't seem to manage ourselves. It seemed that once she was born we were able to laugh and have fun again." Hermione began to chuckle. "I remember, right before Silas went to Hogwarts for his first year, I decided I wanted to take the children on a true Muggle vacation, so I decided to take the children camping."

"Oh, why can't I see Granddad enjoying that?" Glennis remarked sarcastically, her eyebrow quirking up just as her great grandfather would have done.

"I know!" Hermione laughed. "Oh, we had a good time, but for the midges. Your granddad was so furious. Hang on, I have…"

"A letter!" Glennis finished for her, laughing.

_1 August 2017 _

_My Pet,_

_First, I must tell you that I love you so very much, and it is only that thought that is keeping me from leaving this bathtub and wringing your lovely neck._

_What was I thinking letting you talk me into a camping trip, an entirely Muggle camping trip at that? Surely we could have given the children a camping experience here in the Wizarding world that was comparable to that which you inflicted upon us. No, I lie; there is no comparison in the Wizarding world to that which you managed to inflict upon us._

_To say that it was my fault is ludicrous. If you had allowed me just one small moment of magic then we would not be in our current predicament, though I do feel sorry for the children suffering as they must be right now. I only hope that the shop has enough Anti-Pruritic draught for them all. I normally do not brew such large batches. But I digress. You, however, I do not feel sorry for at the moment, nor am I pleasantly disposed toward you at this time. Though I imagine that once I have completed this soak I may feel more inclined toward you. Had you allowed me to start that blasted fire with my wand in the first place, rather than that damn flint and what was it you called it… tinder, then the children would not have been startled by the sparks and flame that erupted from it, and I would not have jerked my hand back, and the tent would not have caught on fire. We could have brought a magical flameproof tent, but oh no, not my wife, she wanted an authentic Muggle weekend. _

_If that were not enough, ever the optimist, you insisted that all was not lost and that we could sleep under the stars "just like they did in the wild west days of America". Did you really not look at the map to see we were located near the peat bogs? Did you not realize that we would be inundated by insects once the sun went down and those blasted "no see-ums" as you coined them would be on us on us like Lucius Malfoy on a Pimp Cane Sale. _

_Oh, but the tent fire and attack by insects was only the icing on the cake. Let us not forget the fact that we went without any food since the brightest witch of her age forgot that Muggles use ice purchased at a market to keep their food cold; it was probably not your brightest idea, my beautiful know-it-all, to bring seafood in the hamper for lunch and place said hamper in full sun. The Muggles in the site next to ours were not at all pleased at the odour that emanated from the hamper when we opened it after our return from our nature walk. _

_I will not even begin to discuss the embarrassment the children gave us when telling the children from the other sites all about how fun it is to "pee in the woods like a bear" whilst on said nature walk. _

_The loss of the rest of our food was a mere inconvenience compared to explaining to the local constabulary why our son and daughters were running naked through the campsite as though they were being chased by Death Eaters. I explained that they had escaped from you while changing them out of their wet swim gear (a stroke of momentary genius on my part if I must say so myself) until they denied it vehemently to the police officer. I have never been so humiliated in my life. No that is not true; I have been humiliated more so in the past, but only whilst being hung upside down by my ankle in front of nearly the entire population of Hogwarts by the likes of James Potter. _

_Next time dear wife, I shall chose the family entertainment, and it will not involve the great outdoors in any form or fashion, and beware wife, you will have to go a long way to get back into my good graces again. I am sure you can come up with something that will assuage my anger._

_All my love,_

_Severus_

"Oh, Gran! I never knew Granddad could be so funny," Glennis said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Why on earth did you go Muggle camping of all things?"

Hermione was laughing as she tucked the letter back into the envelope. "Even though I said I would never enter a tent again after the Horcrux hunt, I relented because I wanted the children to experience both sides of their heritage and for us to do something fun. With Silas getting ready to head off for his first year at Hogwarts, I knew that would change family dynamics. He would soon have new friends, and he was of the age where little boys suddenly no longer want their mum and dad around so much anymore."

"Well, I'd say they experienced it! Sounds like Granddad was not happy for quite a while."

"Yes, it took quite a bit of my womanly wiles to get him to forgive me. Years later though, he would laugh when the children brought up the 'camping incident' as it became known! Here's the letter I wrote in response to Severus' rant!"

_3 August 2017_

_Dearest Severus,_

_I am itching for you to forgive me for our camping trip. I truly felt that it would be a bonding experience for the whole family. I am sorry you didn't think so. _

_But, honestly Severus, watching you furiously rubbing the flint and tinder was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I nearly wet myself trying not to laugh out loud at you. Silas and Varina had to run behind the tent (before it burned) so you wouldn't see their purple faces from attempting not to laugh out loud. I can only say that you should be happy that Honour would laugh at you brewing Wolfsbane she is so little right now and wouldn't know the difference; only that her daddy was doing something funny, and that made her happy._

_I admit the midges were no fun. And perhaps you frightening the skunk that wandered through the camp site wasn't funny, but we were together, and that's all that mattered. _

_If I promise to let you choose the next vacation we take, will you forgive me? Or perhaps there is something I can do sooner to make it up to you? I happen to know the new catalogue from Victoria's Secret arrived by owl post yesterday…..that outfit you seem to like so well is still featured…._

Glennis interrupted Hermione, her hands flapping in revulsion. "Gran, the mental pictures are not fun! Please stop!"

Hermione laughed at her great-granddaughter's horrified face. "What's the matter? Surely you realise that is part of married life?"

"Yes, but what you _know_ is part of married life is one thing; to know you talked and acted like that…no, just no!"

Hermione laughed at Glennis' crinkled nose and eyes squeezed tightly shut as though by doing so it would erase any images she had imagined. She leaned over and kissed Glennis' cheek. "Oh, love. Your granddad and I had a wonderful life, in _all_ ways."

Glennis, still paled faced and now wide-eyed, hurriedly steered the conversation back to vacations. "Did you go on lots of vacations?"

"Yes, every summer we did something. But as I said, once Silas went to school, things changed. Instead of our vacations being geared more toward the children and what they could experience, we started taking vacations to do things that Severus and I would like, and that didn't sit well with the kids. So eventually, we started leaving the kids with either the Weasley's, Potter's or my parents, and Severus and I took lovely romantic vacations on our own. They were really wonderful and helped us rejuvenate ourselves as a couple. You tend to lose that focus when you have kids. Granddad never let it be shown in public at any time how romantic he was, aside from tugging my braid, but when we were alone or away from anyone that may know us, he was quite affectionate." Hermione sighed and smiled. "I can hardly believe how quickly time has flown. Once Silas went to Hogwarts, it was like a domino effect…..the rest of the children just fell right after him…..school, graduation….university. It was hard for me; the Muggles have a term called 'empty nest syndrome'; it is used for the depression a woman, and sometimes man, goes through when all of their children leave home. I was terrible when Silas left but heartbroken when Honour left."

_1 September 2017_

_Dearest Severus,_

_The smoke from the train has dissipated, and the whistle can no longer be heard. Where did time go? Where has that little baby, the one whose paraphernalia you were certain wouldn't fit into Spinner's End, gone? _

_He was so proud to go, too. He was a ball of anxiousness all morning until we finally apparated to King's Cross so that he could take the train (and thank you for not pointing out he could have walked to Hogwarts from Hogsmeade). When we got there, he walked as bold as brass through the dividing wall and onto the platform. When it came time to leave, he gave me the quickest of hugs, pinched his sisters (the cheeky brat), and then shook hands with you and was off! _

_He looks so much more like you now, had you noticed? He is so tall, and his hair is as long as I remember you wearing it when I was a schoolgirl. He is just as handsome, too. I suspect you'll be asked for a bit of advice about girls before too long. _

_Oh love, why do they grow up so fast? While I am thrilled he's off to Hogwarts, I must admit I will miss him around here all day. He is at that age now where he no longer needs his parents as much. I think of my own relationship with my parents and how much it changed when I went to Hogwarts; but perhaps this will be a little better since Silas has two magical parents who won't be as confused about this world their child has suddenly been thrust into. _

_Time is a horrible prankster Severus; I pray that we will have lots of it together with the children._

_All my love,_

_Hermione_

_2 September 2017_

_My Dear Girl,_

_Once again your Gryffindor heart hangs upon your sleeve like a victory flag upon its pole, and your maudlin attitude makes me feel as though I am developing some kind of rash. However, I must add that I understand to a certain extent your feelings at this moment, but cannot bring myself to wax nostalgic as you have done._

_Silas is a handsome boy my dear Hermione. Let us not contemplate the hormonal ravages that the poor lad will face until they actually begin. Yes, yes; the boy does resemble me, mores the pity, and I thank the gods that all of the children have inherited the Granger nose rather than the Snape. As for his hair, you know it's the style of most wizards to wear it long; not as long perhaps as Lucuis', but below the shoulders is fine. _

_Bold though our son can be at times, I do worry that his inner Gryffindor will reign at times and cause him a fair bit of trouble at school. Perhaps I will have a word with the Bloody Baron._

_Be strong Little One, you still have two more ragamuffins underfoot to guide._

_Always,_

_Severus_

_PS. I must confess the quietness Silas' leaving has brought to the house is a little unsettling though the lack of constant complaints about his pinching is not._

_1 September 2018_

_Dear Severus,_

_Another child off to Hogwarts, although this time, the child went rather reluctantly. Although, I suppose it is hardly surprising; For all the more loving and giving she is at home, often mothering Silas and Honour and even ourselves at times, Varina is so shy and does not warm up to people easily. I fear she may not find her place as easily as Silas did in his first year. I can see Poe will be quite busy in the near future. _

_I wonder how it is that we've produced four children and none of them are similar; Silas is congenial and friendly to all; Varina with her mothering ways, yet shy, and Honour …..well I am not sure which far flung branch of our respective family trees I should blame for all that energy and vivaciousness. Both she and her hair are always in motion! She won't have to 'find' her way through Hogwarts, she will bulldoze her way through! Dear little Struan was the two of us through and through…head in a cauldron or nose in a book researching potions even though he was only reading at a primary school level._

_The house is even quieter now. I am not sure I like it, and I hope Honour will fill it up with friends and her laughter while the other children are gone. _

_All my love,_

_Hermione_

_2 September 2018_

_Dearest Hermione,_

_Unlike Silas' leaving, I must admit that I am concerned about how Varina will fare away from home. You are most astute in your observations of her introversion, a characteristic I recognise all too well; Hogwarts was not the refuge I had hoped it would be when I arrived in my first year, but at least I was better fed, clothed and warm. I am sure Varina will not suffer as I did once I had met some of my more contemptible peers. Even going home during the summer hols was not an escape from what I experienced at the hands of the marauders and other students. At least if Varina encounters trouble, she will know that she will be going home to loving parents. _

_We have discussed that whole aspect of my life and there is no need to dwell on it here except for the fact that I hope Varina does not suffer the same despair that I did emotionally. Physically I realize there is no question my experience will not be repeated, but I do worry about her. My mother, weak willed though she was, would have reckoned that Varina was tender-hearted, much like a certain know-it-all I know. My know-it-all however, grew into a beautiful, intelligent, clever, and strong-willed individual; strong-willed enough to take a risk on a broken man and make him whole again. I do love you my girl, far more than I have ever told you, and far more than I have ever showed you._

_Honour's eventual leaving fills me with absolute fear. Perhaps more so than any encounter I had with the Dark Lord. Maybe we should talk to Minerva and see if there is any way Honour can do a correspondence course….I would not want to be responsible for the ruination of the oldest school of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the world._

_Yours,_

_Severus_

_27 June 2024_

_Dear Severus,_

_How can I have one child graduating Hogwarts when I have one left to enter? Good heavens, how did Molly Weasley do this? _

_Silas has made us very proud, has he not? He has graduated with top honours, helped Slytherin house win the house cup three years running, and has been accepted at the prestigious Academiedi Scienze e Matematica in Rome for his double mastery in Potions and Arithmancy. _

_I know you hope that he will come into the shop with you when he has finished his course, but are we still in agreement that should he choose not to, we will encourage him in whatever he decides to do?_

_Varina will graduate next year. She has come a long way from the shy yet loving little mother hen she was when younger. Boldly for her, she has contacted Healer Smythewick about an apprenticeship at St. Mungo's for when she graduates!_

_I am so proud of our children, Severus._

_Love,_

_Hermione _

_28 June 2024_

_Hermione,_

_That our children are as intelligent and motivated as they are is a testament to your tenacity and patience in their early education and in their upbringing. Where I was the stern parent you balanced that gently with your own style of parenting and the results are marvellous. I must confess that I was quite often jealous of the way our children were raised. I would have given my left arm to have a mother like you, instead I gave my left arm to a faulty principle that I paid dearly for._

_I am still dreading the day Honour starts Hogwarts. I wonder if Peeves will have met his match. _

_Love,_

_Severus_

_1 September 2025_

_With a bounce and a flounce of her curly black hair, we are now officially seven years away from becoming empty nesters, dearest. We would have been able to delay it one more year if Hogwarts hadn't changed the rule to allow anyone born in September to enter before they turned 11. _

_I admit that despite her scatter brained tendencies, Honour has manic study habits, so she will make a good representative for Ravenclaw House, her new home. We've provided Hogwarts with a Slytherin, a Gryffindor, and now a Ravenclaw in Silas, Varina and Honour respectively. We've done Hogwarts proud, don't you think? _

_I wonder if Varina will continue to see much more of Andrew Tierney. They were inseparable last year…you seemed to find him 'underfoot' quite a bit during the hols. Now that she has obtained her NEWTS and started her apprenticeship, she will be very busy. I hope she won't get distracted; seems to remind me of another young Gryffindor lady who was swept off her feet as a seventh year, but she managed all right, didn't she?_

_Silas has returned safely to Italy. Wasn't he full of himself over the hols? I am glad the girls were able to take him down a peg or two. He was very smug….much like his father. Did you perfect "The Sneer" that young? _

_Love,_

_Hermione _

_2 September 2025_

_Darling,_

_Yes, yes; I am proud Silas and Varina. I am not so worried about Andrew Tierney these days as Varina seems extremely focused on her studies rather than on some lovesick boy._

_What TERRIFIES me is that we have let Honour loose on the castle. What were we thinking allowing her to go a year early? Damn that Minerva for pressing the Board of Governors to change the entrance rules! On their own heads be it!_

_'The Sneer', I'll have you know, is a genetic predisposition among the male Princes. Tobias couldn't sneer unless he was pissed, so it didn't come from the Snape side. _

_I do love you dear heart,_

_Severus_

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><p>A little story from the Worrywart family diaries: Worrywart and family went camping. One day, Worrywart Jr. was off doing whatever it is boys doing when camping, and Mr. Worrywart was in the camper (caravan). I was sitting outside in the warm sunshine by the fire (always had one going day and night while camping) enjoying one of the "Redwall" books by Brian Jacques, minding my own business when I felt something hit my foot. I look down and was horrified to see a S-K-U-N-K had bumped into my foot. I slowly lifted my feet up and waited. When I couldn't see it anymore, I flew out of my chair to the other side of the site and attempted to get Mr. Worrywart's attention. He finally saw me flailing my arms around and opened the door of the camper. I hollered SKUNK UNDER THE CAMPER! and he slammed the door shut. After a moment or two he came out and we looked under the camper and couldn't see it anymore. However, a hue and cry went up from the site next to us when Mr. Skunk showed up over there.<p>

Reviews and camping stories are always welcome!

Oh, and naughty xpage394x...she send a plot bunny my way by mentioning that I should put a letter or two into the story about Honour and Peeves. Well, how about a companion piece about the two? I'll be busy writing!

WW


	14. Chapter 14

We are in the home stretch, dear readers. We have gone quite a way into the future now; the first Snape daughter is getting married, and the last one is finally graduating from Hogwarts. We'll see some intervening letters in my companion piece called _A Raven's Story: Peeves and Honour. _Honour is like a little mini marauder taking life at school juuuust to the 'you could get expelled' point. She and Peeves are instant enemies from her first night at school to her last. Sadly, we will begin to see some old friends cross the veil in this chapter, and this will continue through the end of the story. This is life, readers, reality and in fan fiction.

JK Rowling was a wonderful lady to allow us to play, don't you think?

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><p>Chapter 14<p>

The Birds Leave the Nest

7_ June 2030_

_Dear Severus,_

_Well, at least you didn't hex him. I had a feeling when Andrew showed up this evening to speak with you, privately, it would be to ask for Varina's hand in marriage. You were in there quite a long time after he left. Why?_

_I cannot believe that it would be to sulk; As much as we hate to think it, our children are leaving home, getting on with their careers, finding their own soulmates, just as we did almost 30 years ago. It is the cycle of life; one that plays tricks on the minds of parents everywhere! _

_Being a know-it-all, I must ask you; what did Andrew say? How did you respond? You know I'll badger your for these details, so you may as well come clean now!_

_All my love,_

_Hermione_

_8 Jun 2030_

_Dearest Girl,_

_I do not sulk. _

_I was taking a moment to review Varina's choice, and what the future might hold for her now that she and Andrew have decided to marry. It had nothing to do with the fact that my little girl is no longer that, my little girl. She is a grown woman in her own right; young, but grown. She is much like a young witch I knew so very many years ago who agreed to be friends with a miserable git and, in turn, gave him a life he would have never known otherwise._

_What did Andrew say? Well, Nosy Parker, at first he said nothing. He choked, he stuttered, and he grimaced a great deal. He looked as though he was going to vomit, so I put him out of his misery and asked him if he was here to ask for Varina's hand. The relief on his face was palpable. _

_I told him no at first. Any man that could not buck up and ask for himself was not worthy of my daughter. _

_Oh, you should have seen his face, my Pet; it was hilarious, and I had to quickly dig out a book and stick my nose in it to hide my smirk. I will treasure that look for years to come! I had to initiate a coughing fit in order to hide my laughter. Once he found his voice though, he asked me properly for her hand, and of course I gave him the 'I worked for the Dark Lord for twenty years; I know where to hide the bodies' speech._

_ I never did tell Andrew that I acted the same way when I asked your father for your hand. My reputation would be in tatters if that debacle were ever to get out. _

_You are always in my heart,_

_Severus_

_15 May 2031_

_Dearest Severus,_

_The guests have gone, and our Varina has as well. She and her Andrew have spirited away to places unknown to celebrate their marriage. _

_My heart is full tonight, love. You are not the most demonstrative of men, but to see you do the traditional bridal dance with the woman who is your image gave me chills. You held her as tenderly as you did the day she was born. You, who are careful to school your features into placidity at all times when in public, bore emotion on your face as proud as the most victorious warrior in a battle. _

_Severus, your emotion of the day carried over into our lovemaking this evening. You made me feel as young and as vibrant, as cherished and as loved as you did the very first time we were ever together in your bed. I love you. _

_I wonder though, dear heart, what was going through your mind as you danced with our daughter? Were you contemplating the ups and downs of married life she will no doubt encounter? Were you looking forward to the day she tells you are to be a grandfather for the first time?_

_I know that you hate when I pester you for your emotional reaction to things, but could you indulge me just this once? _

_Love,_

_Hermione_

_17 May 2031_

_You, Hermione Jean Snape, are as beautiful to me today as you were when you stepped foot in the Great Hall upon returning to finish your studies following the Final Battle. I cherish you and love you more today than I ever have, but since that is how I feel every morning I wake up next to your delectable body, it does not surprise me. What surprises me is that you seem to feel the same way about me._

_What was going through my mind whilst I danced with my very beautiful daughter? A great deal. The dominant thought, however, was that I hope she and Andrew will forever love one another as ardently as I love you; that they will have such a strong and secure partnership that any obstacles in their path will be faced together, unlike how I caused us to deal with Straun's death. _

_What fools we were during that time; the pain we suffered was indescribable, and we reacted as we thought was right at the onset of that pain; however, we endured and made it through that time in our life. It is a testament to the love and commitment we share. It is that kind of love that I hope Andrew and Varina share; an enduring and devoted love, hopefully peppered with less tragedy and foolish mistakes. _

_All my love, as always_

_Severus_

**The Daily Prophet Birth Announcements**

Mr and Mrs Andrew Tierney announce the birth of a son and a daughter on 16 May 2032. Severus Andrew and Sondra Jean were born at 7.36 and 7.39 respectively. Mrs Tierney is the daughter of Severus and Hermione Snape of Hogsmeade. Mr Tierney is the son of Robert and Karen Tierney of Edinburgh.

_16 May 2032_

_Dear Severus,_

_We are grandparents! Can you believe it? And not just once, but twice! A grandson and granddaughter to spoil. _

_I sent Poe with a message to Honour at Hogwarts to let her know that she is now an aunty. She replied that she has sent Varina some lovely flowers. Despite her devil-may-care ways, there are times when Honour can do something practical. I can't wait to see the babies. Shall we go tomorrow night? Visiting hours at St. Mungo's begin at half six. I told Varina we'd wait until then to give her a chance to rest. Oh, but I can hardly contain myself! _

_I love you, Grandpa! _

_Hermione_

_17 May 2032_

_Dearest Wife,_

_I find myself speechless at the realisation that the woman we saw at St Mungo's is my little girl. Varina is a natural mother, much like her own, and nothing alerted me to her adulthood as much as seeing her this evening with her own children in her arms. I must confess I find myself as infatuated with my grandchildren as I was with my own children. _

_I sometimes wonder whether or not you are some kind of angel. Who are you? You came into my life and created all these people whom I adore. Without you, I would have no one, and with you my life is full. Thank you for giving me my family._

_Let the madness begin; twins, how on earth do you deal with two at a time? We shall have to rely on Molly for pointers.  
><em>

_Grandpa? I despise that term. Not that I am not proud of being a grandparent, but really, Hermione... Grandpa? At least I am an appropriate age to be referred to as Grandpa; you are rather young to be known as Granny. Does your fading youth and declining mobility bother you, my dear? _

_Your Aged-Yet-Distinguished Husband, who only improves as he matures, _

_Severus_

_17 May 2032_

_Dear Aged-Yet-Distinguished Husband who only improves as he matures,_

_Don't forget your cushioning charm on the sofa tonight as you sleep._

_Love,_

_Granny_

_15 July 2032_

_Dear Severus,_

_The last Snape has left Hogwarts…at least for now. Where did that irrepressible hellion we let loose on the castle go? I am pleased as punch that she will attend my alma mater, Glasgow Institute, for a Master's in Charms. I believe there are tentative talks for her to return as Charms Professor now that Flitwick has set a date for his retirement**; **I wonder what poor old Peeves will make of that? _

_I am surprised that she has not settled on one gentleman friend like Varina had in her final year. Honour has had boys dripping after her since her fifth year when she blossomed into the swan she is. Perhaps I should not be surprised, as she was a surprise to us from the day she was born*****. She set her own path from the time she toddled into your arms with her first steps. As soon as she clung to you in excitement of her mobility, and you gave her a kiss, off she went with no looking back!_

_I could not love our children any more than I do. That you gifted me with such joy is beyond my ability to thank you._

_Love_

_Hermione_

_7 November 2032_

_My Dearest Hermione,_

_I can see that you are in so much pain right now, and I do not know how to respond to you; I do not know how to help you. Your father, a very good man who accepted me into your life based solely on your word as your suitor, and then as your husband, has died. My past experience at dealing with the death of a parent has left me struggling to help you._

_How do I fix this for you? I cannot, and that pains me more than John's death. I do not mean to be cruel or heartless when I say that, but having never grieved nor given a damn about my own lamentable father's death, I do not know how I am supposed to feel when one loses a parent. I do know it is painful. After losing Struan, I know what it is to have your heart rent in two, and as you well know, that same heart will heal. It will never be as strong as it once was, but it will heal. I can promise you though that I will be here for you in any capacity that you need me, be it as a human hanky (as you are wont to use me at times), or just to listen to your memories of the man who was your father. _

_The children seem to be coping with their grandad's death in their own way. It is good to see our older two helping Honour with her grief. Death is so much a part of life, and while you and I have seen far too much of it in our lifetimes, we should never allow ourselves, or our children, to become blasé about it._

_My Darling Hermione, I am here for you; my love is yours as always._

_Severus_

_8 November 2032_

_My Darling Severus,_

_Your words were perfect and what I needed over the last day or two. To know that you cared enough about my father to want to help me stop hurting, fills me with peace. I do love you. _

_I am sorry I will need to be away for a week or so; my mother will need me to help her clear away Dad's things, and learn to adjust to a house no longer filled with the comforting sounds of another human living there._

_Poe, in his way, has been comforting me, too. He sits on my shoulder and rubs his head against my neck. What would we have done without this little creature in our lives? How many letters, joyous and sad, has he ferried back and forth for us? He is a dear thing, isn't he?_

_All my love,_

_Hermione_

_3 June 2034_

_Dearest Hermione,_

_I find that I cannot put into words how devastated I am by Minerva's death. That something as simple as a natural death, as hers was, could affect me in such a way staggers my mind when you consider how callously I viewed death in the past._

_Minerva was a formidable woman, as you well know, but for me she was so much more. She was the maternal figure I was lacking due to my mother's inability to cope with the life she was given. Despite our attitude toward one another in public, I adored her greatly, and I rather think she felt kindly towards me. I do not believe I will be able to view a Quidditch match with quite the same enthusiasm without our little wagers and spats over them. I would wish to put on this parchment everything that Min meant to me, but I am finding my emotions beginning to overwhelm me, and I am loath to give them words._

_It hurts, Hermione, I can tell you that—losing Minerva hurts me, my love._

_4 June 2034_

_Dearest Severus,_

_I am filled with sorrow for you; Minerva meant so much to both of us, but was much more than just a professor and colleague for you. Even at your darkest moments, when you know she felt you betrayed her, she was always present. I know you felt she was the mother your own mother never was._

_The children will miss "Granny Min", especially Silas who was her godson._

_I am here for you, love, as you were here for me when my father died. Please know that you are loved. Always._

_Your Hermione_

* * *

><p>*A little worrywart secret here. I eloped when in 1988 while stationed in Germany with the Air Force. No one in my family knew I was getting married until a few days afterward when my parents received a letter with a return address that was slightly different than usual. My twin sister was still living at home, and she told me that my father's reaction was: "Doris, those girls have been a surprise to us since the day they were born!" (My parents did not know they were having twins until two weeks before we were born) My mother's reaction was: "Is she pregnant, and is he German (and being the great-granddaughter of German immigrants, this would not have been a problem)?" The answer to that was no and no. I married a fellow serviceman who is of Scottish decent.<p>

I have begun posting to a new website called The Maple Bookshelf (www dot themaplebookshelf dot com). You'll see some familiar names there. It is new, but wonderfully refreshing to see. It's really clicking with me. For any of you looking for a home for your M rated stories, this may be the place for you! They have mods, but promise they are not grammar nazis. They just want to make sure your stories look the best they can be when you post them! Give them a look-see!


	15. Chapter 15

**I am sorry it's been a while since my last update. Real life has dealt me a rough hand, and I had been unable to find any 'give-a-fuck'. However, my lovely Brit Picker, xpage394x, has brought me out of my doldrums and spiffed up this chapter so nicely. The words you are about to read are more hers than mine. I am ashamed to admit I had no energy for this chapter (Chapter 16, the final one, has been written for months).**

**Now that I have this story done, I go back to my first promise to myself from advice I stole from Loten…..never publish until the first draft is nearly, if not completely, finished!**

**The author of this chapter is xpage394x, truly.**

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><p>Chapter 15<p>

Circles Widening, Circles Tightening

Glennis looked at Hermione, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I can't even begin to imagine what losing a parent must be like."

"It is an inevitable part of life, but you know, deep down inside, you never stop needing their advice or wanting to hear their laughter." Hermione let out a soft sigh as she glanced at a photograph of her parents that sat on the writing bureau. "Then you think about all the questions you had for them; questions that remain unasked because you thought you had more time with them and then suddenly, you don't. She was silent for a moment. "You know, I so wish I had asked my father more about his private encounters with Severus." Hermione smiled mischievously.

"I remember your granddad was so nervous to meet my father! He told me years later that he stuttered and nearly vomited when he asked my dad for my hand in marriage. I have no idea why. My father was a firm supporter of our relationship, and he was always perfectly agreeable towards your granddad. It was one of the things I loved most about my father; the kindness and acceptance he offered to Severus. Severus Snape never cared much what people thought of him, but he truly did want my father to think well of him."

Glennis laughed, "I still can't believe it! Grandad? A nervous suitor?" The two women dissolved into girlish giggles at the image of a vomiting Severus before Glennis continued on a more serious note. "It's strange to think how many changes you have seen over the years, that all these people I look up to like you and granddad, mum and dad, were once the young ones. Hearing you read these letters, learning about your past, it's so easy to forget that your grandparents and your parents were young once.

"What has it been like, watching the family change and expand over the years?" Glennis placed her chin in her hand and stared at her grandmother thoughtfully. "Whenever we're together for the holidays, I hear the most wickedly funny stories." Glennis smirked in a breathtaking imitation of her great granddad. "What was all the ruckus when Aunty Honour married?"

"The ruckus was because she told no one she was going to marry!" Hermione rolled her eyes before sifting through the letters to find the one she wanted. "Yes, here it is. I wrote this to Granddad the day we found out what our little hellion had done."

_15 December 2034_

_Severus!_

_What on earth has Honour done? She is far too young to be married. And to have done so in such a cloak and dagger fashion as well! Who is this Bartholomew Samson anyway? Did she meet him at Glasgow Institute? And why did she write to you alone to inform us? Why did she not feel the need to write to her own mother? I always knew you two were as thick as thieves. _

_I am so angry right now, I could spit nails. _

_Hermione_

_15 December 2034_

_Hermione,_

_Do try not to jump into a Gryffindor-style confrontation with our wayward daughter. Obviously, I have a few reservations about this impromptu marriage, but I highly doubt that Honour would ever consider binding herself so permanently to somebody that she wasn't highly compatible with._

_As you are well aware, my absent-minded wife, Honour has known Bartholomew since she was eleven years old. You might remember he was the poor, suffering prefect she kindly bestowed a Buttocks Pinching Hex upon on her very first night at Hogwarts. _

_Bartholomew is a Slytherin; cunning enough to keep Honour in check without her realizing, six years older than her so mature enough to handle her inherited Granger temper. Although we have yet to meet our new son-in-law, we have at least been aware of him for the last two years. Did you really think that two years in Honour's world wasn't a serious relationship? I'm surprised it's taken her this long. _

_You cannot possibly judge her for falling for her instructor from Glasgow Institute; she is simply following her mother's lead. At least _they_ were _both_ students when their paths first crossed. Nor can we judge the age difference as that is yet another aspect of her personality she has gained from her wise and beautiful mother._

_Surely you realize that our flibbertigibbet has never been one to do as all the other girls her age, and her secretive marriage only demonstrates that independent spirit that we, for good or bad, encouraged. I would imagine she saw the wedding itself as nothing more than paperwork. She is also sneaky enough to know we would try to stop her until we had met the man. _

_I must confess, I would rather have met the man who has married my Honour before he became a family member, and I will have no issue in pointing this out to him. He has another thing coming if he thinks I won't give him a hard time about not seeking my permission. _

_We are not, as you so flatteringly put it, 'thick as thieves'; we simply understand one another. She knows what to expect from me since I have always spoiled her rotten whereas you fluctuated between spoiling her rotten and occasionally attempting to be fair and coming down on her like a ton of bricks, rightly so. Perhaps if I had been a little tougher on her, she wouldn't be so brave and reckless. She is simply doing the Slytherin thing; telling the person who will react calmly and allowing them to spread the word while she hides out on honeymoon. _

_Honour adores you; do not mistake her tactics for anything other than her looking for 'the easy way out'._

_Calm down my love; I seem to remember you panicking that no man would be able to handle her when we received our 36th letter from Minerva about Honour's antics. _

_Your loving, older, Slytherin, and ex-professor, husband (and we turned out alright didn't we?) _

_Severus_

_16 February 2035_

_Dear Severus,_

_What a joy to see Silas and his Emily have married; and to have them move back home is a dream come true for me. Since he failed to return from Italy upon finishing his education there, I was beginning to become concerned that he would become a permanent Venetian! _

_Not only is he coming home, he is coming into the shop with you! I know you had been corresponding back and forth with him in this regard; whatever finally convinced him? _

_Regardless, it is wonderful to know that Snape Apothecary will now become Snape and Son Apothecary, and we will both be able to cut back on our workload. I can't wait to leave the shop in Silas' capable hands, along with the few interns you deign satisfactory enough to actually be allowed to touch things, and take a long vacation!_

_Did Silas mention whether or not he and Emily will live in Hogsmeade?_

_16 February 2035_

_Dear Hermione,_

_Yes, I knew you would take great delight in having Silas and Emily nearby; the more the merrier when it comes to you fussing over the younger generation. Have I mentioned that you are beginning to resemble Molly Weasley a little during family gatherings with all your mothering and fussing (however, not in size)? Although nothing is set in stone, I believe Emily wishes to reside in Hogsmeade._

_I confess I was surprised he decided to leave his Mediterranean life behind for the dreary British weather, but he seems confident that he has made the right decision. He claims it is simply that he wishes for any future children to be surrounded by their extended family. I suspect he also feels it is his duty to ease our workload as we settle into the winter of our lives. I am rather looking forward to having more leisure time with my dear wife, so I shan't bother pointing out to him that I can manage just fine without him._

_I have always hoped that that apothecary will continue once I am gone, and to know that I will be leaving it in the capable hands of our son pleases me._

_Severus_

_P.S When you manage to find some interns who are not incompetent fools, I might allow them to touch things…possibly._

_8 August 2035_

_Dear Severus, _

_Thank you for coming with me to Molly's funeral; I know the Weasleys are not your favourite group of people, with the exception of Arthur, so I appreciate you supporting me through this difficult day._

_For years, Molly was my substitute mother; she fed and housed me. She was as devoted to my well-being as she was to her own children's and for that, I loved her deeply. She even forgave my not marrying Ronald eventually. _

_Arthur looked quite forlorn and so old. It was difficult seeing a man who is usually so full of joy and merriment look so devastated. They were always a part of my life in some form or another since I was 12 years old, and I can't quite imagine how the world will work without Molly._

_They were immortal to me, do you know what I mean? Molly and Arthur were these constant, everlasting figures in my mind, and I never imagined I would actually ever experience life without them or see one of them survive alone. They fell into the realm of people you know who were already so warm and loving when you first meet them, they help you through all the moments in your life, and seem to change very little even as you grow older. They seem so timeless so it is always such a shock when people like this die. I imagine Minerva was a bit like that for you._

_It was the same when my father left us. Both he and my mother were timeless and so necessary to my experience of what life was like, that to have one of them ripped away from me left me feeling like I had no idea how to live in a world without him in it. I think of my mother now; although she is quite old for a Muggle and despite already experiencing the deaths of my father and now Molly, I still find myself incapable of imagining life without her. If I am still incapable of imagining that my mother will pass on one day how disillusioned am I regarding my own mortality? Although I know I have decades of living left, it is quite an earth shattering concept to contemplate._

_I love you, Severus; I hope you know that. You are my dearest heart, and I don't think I tell you enough how much I adore you. I hate that it sometimes takes something like death to inspire a renewed declaration from me._

_Love,_

_Hermione _

_9 August 2035_

_Hermione,_

_The Weasley family may not have been my favourite group of people to spend time with, but that does not mean that I do not respect them greatly. A world without Molly Weasley is a worse place indeed, and her loss does cause me great sadness._

_I know that you feel her loss dearly, she was just as much a mother to you as your own mother is, particularly since she was part of a world your own mother could never fully comprehend. Molly mothered me too; too much sometimes for my own liking, but mothered nonetheless during my time as a spy. She tended my wounds and constantly tried to feed me up with her typically motherly ways. Her loss is palpable and while I do not grieve it as you do, I do grieve for her._

_Severus_

_17 July 2036_

_Severus,_

_My heart breaks for Honour. She is beside herself with grief and I don't know how to help her. Our wild haired, devil-may-care hellion is a drab version of her usual self. _

_I know that she has been trying to become pregnant for a year now, and today she has learned that she has a rare condition that has left her unable to bear children. The healer said that if we had known at puberty, this could have been corrected, but as I had no trouble having children, it did not occur to me to have her checked. Both girls sailed through puberty and menarche with no problems. My mother did not have fertility problems either; she just chose to have me later in her life and to have only one child. Maybe this is why you were an only child? Perhaps your mother had this unknown condition? No Muggle, or even magical, methods can help Honour now._

_In time, perhaps she and Bart will consider adoption. _

_Oh my love, I wish I could find an incantation that would take away any pain our children suffer._

_Amidst my pain for Honour, is the joy of knowing that only last week Silas and Emily announced they are expecting a child in early spring. However bittersweet this news is, it will only add to Honour's immediate suffering. I know that in the long run she will be a doting aunty and supportive sister, but this wonderful news has certainly come at a less than ideal time. _

_Love,_

_Hermione_

_3 September 2040_

_Dear Severus,_

_The circle of my life grows ever smaller with the death of Arthur Weasley. Now he is with his Molly; he missed her so much._

_I picture my life as an infinity circle…ever flowing and changing. Our children and grandchildren expand it at either end, but our elders pull it tight where it crosses at the center. Back and forth, birth and death._

_My mother will not be far behind them, I fear, pulling my circle even smaller._

_After much discussion among the Weasley children, Ron and Lavender will live at _The Burrow_ now. He and his brood will fill it with the love and laughter it deserves. Ron vows it will remain the place where all of his siblings and their families as well as those of us honoured to be adopted into the clan, gather for parties and holidays. _

_I love you dearest heart,_

_Hermione_

_5 September 2040_

_Hermione,_

_My dear girl, your circle is not growing smaller, it is just changing its axis. Those people who formed the circle of your life in your youth are leaving it; however there are many in your circle who are still here, and there are so many more to come who will fill those places that are empty right now. They come in the form of new in-laws, grandchildren and friends. _

Our_ circle though, the one that contains just you and I, will never change. I know that one day one of us will vacate it, but because of our soulmate status, the other will not be far behind, and we will resume our circle in the afterlife. It also comforts me that I will never have to endure the loss of you for long, if that is how the gods decree it; I will be right behind you._

_Severus_

5 September 2040

_Severus,_

_Of course I understand how blessed I am by all the wonderful additions to my family, and any new friends I have made in recent years. I just can't help but feel unnerved by the fact that soon enough, I will have no elders to look up to, and that I, myself, will be one of the elders in my life. _

_I wish I could keep all my lovely grandbabies and in-laws without having to give up all my parental figures. I guess I'm never too old to not throw a Granger tantrum and stamp my feet about how unfair life can be!_

_I, too, cherish our personal, little circle, and I honestly couldn't have wished for a better partner to escort me through life. I have had similar thoughts concerning the future and our soul mate status. I pray that I do leave you behind and not the other way round, because I cannot fathom how I could ever possibly draw one breath without you, Severus; I wouldn't be surprised if my heart stopped a beat after your own. I promise that if I am left behind, I will strive to enjoy my remaining time with the family, and I hope you would attempt to do the same, for their sakes. _

_I love you so very much,_

_Hermione_

_9 January 2060_

_Dearest Hermione,_

_I dreaded getting up this morning. I dreaded the thought that you and the children, especially Honour (who would think of doing something as horrible as a surprise party just to vex me) would have a party on the anniversary of my rather dreary birth._

_Thank all the gods you didn't. I admit that I walked around on eggshells all day wondering if someone or thing would pop out of the air and fete me. Rather, you've given me a nice quiet day, all my favorite meals, and the latest in all my journals. Yes, the children and grands were here to celebrate, but there was no raucous reminder that I am now 100 years old. _

_For that, I am must grateful._

_However, now that I am 100 years old, I have decided it's time to slow things down and enjoy however many decades I may have left with you. Perhaps it is time to leave the apothecary in the hands of Silas and the few dunderheads we've deemed worthy to touch things. What say you?_

_I had thought we could move somewhere warmer, sunnier, and quieter, but then decided against it. I'd rather be here among the family and continue to enjoy the life and happiness they have bestowed upon me._

_While I might be 100 now, I consider myself as only really having lived for the past 62 and perhaps, my birthday is really 21 September. I am sure you know what that day means to me; more than just our wedding anniversary, love. _

_Yours always,_

_Severus._

_P.S. Thank you for the reminder this morning that I am not physically old either!_

_10 January 2060_

_You daft old bugger! Do you honestly think I would throw you a birthday party? Mr. Openly Demonstrative? Pah! Perhaps turning 100 has addled your brain!_

_Truly, though love. I am glad you enjoyed your day._

_As to retirement….yes, I rather think I am ready to settle down and enjoy pottering about the house you. No, I don't want to leave our home either. It was a wrench to leave Spinner's End all those years ago, it would break my heart to leave our little cottage here in Hogsmeade. We can travel to warm, sunny, quiet places when we retire if we feel the hubbub is getting too much. _

_All of your life is valuable, Severus. The choices you made got you to where you are today. I will not belittle them. I would sympathize that you made some of them. But 62 years versus the 20 or so that were painful? I'd say you got the better end of things after all._

_Always yours,_

_Hermione_


	16. Chapter 16

**I want to thank all of my faithful readers who have followed my little story. You've been kind with your reviews and patience as time went on. This is the final chapter, and my goal is complete; to tell a story of Hermione and Severus in letter format from start to end; a life complete.**

**JK Rowling is very kind to allow us to manipulate her characters into all sorts of situations, and I am thankful she does. I do not own anything she has written or created….just this little story.**

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><p>Chapter 16<p>

I Never Dreamed This Could Exist

_9 January 2091_

_My Dearest Hermione:_

_All is finally quiet, and I am in my study, relaxing. Soon, I shall join you in our bed. Thank you for gathering all of our children for my birthday. To watch and listen to Silas, Varina, and Honour, their children and our great-grandchildren laugh, argue, and play was a most precious gift for me._

_Pet, my time is short. We both know it; surely you've noticed the signs as well as I, and while I am 'compos mentis', I wish to write you one last time and tell you how much I have loved you._

_I wrote you a letter many years ago that I was sure would be burnt to a cinder before you read completely. How was I to know that it would lead to 88 years of joy, sadness, and a contentment I never dreamt could exist? _

_I remember when Silas and Varina were little, and we spent a Christmas at your parents. They were watching a Muggle program about a Grinch whose heart grew when he learned the meaning of Christmas. I know what that felt like, Hermione. When we married and then when each of our children were born… I swear I never knew a person could have or be given that much love._

_Or how much that love would be so painful. When young Struan died; I know I need not describe that pain, you felt it too. The days and nights over the next many months were endless. Our love was tested and nearly broken, but our bond kept us together, and we healed and moved on. _

_The birth of Honour was a gift beyond words for us. We chose her name aptly; Honour that we never true to our vows during the most difficult time of our lives and Reprieve for the grace she gave us from our grief (as well as being a very special anniversary gift). I still miss Struan. Honour's birth would never replace him. She just made it easier to put his memory in the proper place. _

_But you, Hermione; you made my whole life worth something. I took advantage of your ability to always see the good in people so that I might learn to be a happy bastard. Was I to know then that you would be the making of me? No. Would I have dared dream that I would be here now, married to a woman who is still so beautiful and loving, and the mother of children I thought I would never see? You complete me. My soul and yours are forever bound, and I find that the most difficult thing to fathom even after all this time. I who was evil and you who were pure…_

_I will go across the veil knowing that I had a life beyond my expectations. I will see friends and little Struan again. While it may be distressing to know that my death will be the beginning of yours, I am filled with joy to know that you will soon be with me. Please don't be sad for too long, little one. You are happy by nature, and I would not want you to be lost. You will be with me soon; please hold onto that._

_It is time for bed. I will come to you and, as we have since the day we married, wrap ourselves together and sleep. It will comfort me and help me be ready for the end._

_Always, my love, always,_

_Severus _

Hermione folded the letter and returned it to its envelope. She retrieved her wand and performed the spell that sealed the box from prying eyes. Breathing in deeply, she turned to Glennis and began, "We had noticed he was slowing down and was becoming forgetful. You must remember when your great grandfather was a spy he always sharp and noticed every detail around him, and he continued to be that way all throughout his life. To see him begin to decline was so painful for me, but I never let him know I saw it.

"Of course, he knew it too. He might have lived longer, but he suffered so many curses during his years as a spy. In mid-February, he caught a Wizard version of the Muggle flu. He was in no pain, but he never quite recovered. We spent our days in bed together reading, talking, and snogging. Oh, your great granddad loved to kiss and was very good at it!" Hermione's eyes twinkled at the memory.

"The day before he died, he was particularly adamant that I spend the day in bed with him. His mind seemed as good as ever. We read and talked and looked at all the old photos we had. That night, he held me a bit tighter in his arms than usual. Looking back, I should have known what was about to happen." Tears spilled from Hermione's eyes, and she stopped speaking for a moment. "In the morning, I woke up, and we had drifted apart during the night. He was lying on his back, and he looked so peaceful. When I touched his face, I knew. He was across the veil."

Silence reigned for a few moments, and Glennis quietly sniffed and wiped her nose. Hermione patted the box gently. "I am going to burn these soon, I think. No one needs to see them. Silas, Varina, and Honour know our story. They will pass the stories down to their children and so on. But these letters, while I am willing to share some of them with you, are Severus' and my story only. No one else will read them."

After many hugs and tears, Glennis left the house. Hermione puttered about cleaning up the tea things and then finished clearing the wardrobe of Severus' clothes, a job she started days ago that was interrupted when she and Glennis opened the box of letters. All his robes still smelled of sandalwood and potions ingredients because even though he had retired almost thirty years ago, he still visited the apothecary weekly. He was loathe to leave it in the hands of 'dunderheads', however competent his own son was!

Hermione was tired after her chores were completed and decided a bath would be in order. As the water ran into the tub, she thought about the past few days she spent with Glennis, reliving the long life she shared with Severus. It was good to remember how it began and what happened after that first letter. Hermione sunk down into the water. But oh, how she missed that dungeon bat. She lay in the water and cried. After a while, when the water had cooled, she got out and ran a quick drying charm over herself. She slipped on her nightdress and returned to her bedroom. She wrapped one of Severus' cloaks around her and lay down. Inhaling his lingering scent deeply, she fell asleep.

Hermione noticed as the spring advanced little things about herself were changing. Her magic wasn't working quite as well as it used to, and it was a bit more difficult to get around the house. She spent much of her time reading and doing little things around the house to keep things tidy. She set aside one day to do as she told Glennis she would; she built a fire and slowly burned a lifetime of letters, her heart breaking a little as each one curled into ashes.

She had visits from family and friends often. Her children visited her at least every other day. Lifelong friends dropped in for tea at the weekends; Harry and his partner Philip; Ron and Lavender as well as Luna and Neville, Ginny and Draco. She knew why; she was soul bonded to her wizard and knew that her time was finite. Regardless, it comforted her to have her family and friends around her to keep her from thinking too much.

One morning in June, Hermione was devastated to find Poe, Severus' trusty raven, dead in his nest. She cradled his fragile body in her hands as she lay the raven in the same box that held all the letters he had delivered. She covered the box securely and went outside. Her magic seemed to cooperate with her today, allowing her to magically dig a hole next to Crooks' grave, place the box in it and cover it again. She stood facing the sun afterward thinking of the little bird.

Poe brought her the very first letter. He delivered all the letters that spoke of promises, learning, loving, children, and overwhelming grief. He had made one final deliver in January of this year and then 'retired'.

Hermione chuckled when she thought of the indignity the bird suffered as her children's pet owls pestered the poor bird. And Crookshanks….oh the rivalry between those two! The raven saw the whole story of her life from sky and perch. A secret keeper of sorts.

August came and Glennis was worried that she hadn't heard from Great Gran in a few days. She pestered her father, Severus, to check on his grandmother. He contacted his own mother, Varina, and the three adults went to Hermione's home.

As they approached the cottage, they realized the wards were down, and moved more quickly toward the front door. Wards only fall when the witch or wizard who set them cancels them or dies. Entering the house and not finding Hermione in the sitting room or kitchen, the little contingent moved to the bedroom. There they found Hermione, wrapped in Severus' cloak, her hands holding a piece of parchment.

"She's gone," Varina spoke, her voice cracking with emotion.

"What's that in her hands?" Severus asked, reaching over and removing the paper from Hermione's hand.

Glennis gasped. "It's a letter! I thought she burned them all! She told me she was going to. Let me see it." Glennis drew off the ribbon around the fragile parchment. Tears came to her eyes as she read,

_21 September 1998_

_Dear Miss Granger,_

_You are probably quite surprised to find this handwriting on this letter to you…_

* * *

><p><strong>Schmaltzy ending, I know, but there you are. All done.<strong>

**I will be posting this story, along with all my others, including She Was His Student (an MA story I took down during the recent purge) over at The Maple Bookshelf. I will still post stories here, but in order to comply with FF's TOA, any MA stories will be at TMB. A girl's gotta indulge in naughty now and again!_  
><em>**


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